published: 2019
pages: 351
read: 11/21-26/2019
book: 67 in 2019
I don't know why people think permanent denial is better than temporary disappointment. -Emma (Tate's mom pg 60)
Sam Brandis was Tate Jones’s first: Her first love. Her first everything. Including her first heartbreak.
During a whirlwind two-week vacation abroad, Sam and Tate fell for each other in only the way that first loves do: sharing all of their hopes, dreams, and deepest secrets along the way. Sam was the first, and only, person that Tate—the long-lost daughter of one of the world’s biggest film stars—ever revealed her identity to. So when it became clear her trust was misplaced, her world shattered for good.
Fourteen years later, Tate, now an up-and-coming actress, only thinks about her first love every once in a blue moon. When she steps onto the set of her first big break, he’s the last person she expects to see. Yet here Sam is, the same charming, confident man she knew, but even more alluring than she remembered. Forced to confront the man who betrayed her, Tate must ask herself if it’s possible to do the wrong thing for the right reason… and whether “once in a lifetime” can come around twice.
During a whirlwind two-week vacation abroad, Sam and Tate fell for each other in only the way that first loves do: sharing all of their hopes, dreams, and deepest secrets along the way. Sam was the first, and only, person that Tate—the long-lost daughter of one of the world’s biggest film stars—ever revealed her identity to. So when it became clear her trust was misplaced, her world shattered for good.
Fourteen years later, Tate, now an up-and-coming actress, only thinks about her first love every once in a blue moon. When she steps onto the set of her first big break, he’s the last person she expects to see. Yet here Sam is, the same charming, confident man she knew, but even more alluring than she remembered. Forced to confront the man who betrayed her, Tate must ask herself if it’s possible to do the wrong thing for the right reason… and whether “once in a lifetime” can come around twice.
MY THOUGHTS
short version
i started mad at grandma, then i was bugged by how basically clueless Tate is, then i got super into it once Sam was in the picture once again and then i got mad at how clueless Tate still was and as i finished it, i felt all of my feelings deflating. somewhat meh. it had potential but it just, idk, fell flat.
long version
I guess I just want to know why basically 90% of the
goodreads population is solely focused on how "unbelievable" it is
that Sam & Tate fell in love over a 2 week period in London when they were
21 and 18.
Why?
Why is it unbelievable?
Because every one's story in books and real life starts with
2 people who meet at the age of what? 30? And they date for a good amount of
time before they decide "yea fuck it. Let's do this for the long
haul."?
I 100% liked that they met so "young" and that
they knew what they had in each other.
We shouldn't tell "kids" that they cant be in love
or feel love or connect in that way because they're too young to
"understand". Kids are smart and resilient and they understand. Just
because you're 18, it does not mean that you're feelings are invalid. That is such a stupid way to think.
You know what I did find unbelievable?
That they finally have sex and he makes her orgasm in the first
shot. actually no, they weren't even having sex yet. he just went down on her!
How.
In.
The.
Fuck.
Like legit she was a virgin and boom. Right off that bat.
Maybe it is possible. Yea, probably. But that's what I'm
choosing to believe as unbelievable.
That and the fact that legit no one is going after how
shitty of a father Ian was.
Like shitty to the max times ten.
THAT and how unbelievably naive Tate was over her
father....and honestly, maybe just how naive she was in general.
You haven't seen that bag of dicks since you were 8. 10 years have gone by since you last saw him, its been 14 years since you've "reconnected", he still acts like a piece of shit and you still hold a candle to him like hes the best human in the world. (I can definitely understand but it just IRKED me)
You haven't seen that bag of dicks since you were 8. 10 years have gone by since you last saw him, its been 14 years since you've "reconnected", he still acts like a piece of shit and you still hold a candle to him like hes the best human in the world. (I can definitely understand but it just IRKED me)
You know who Ian reminds me of?
Ernesto De La Cruz.
Lmaooooooooooooo.
It's just how I picture him. Idk why.
....anyway, this story....like I've said before about CLo
books, since I'm not a long time fan, these reads are good enough for me. I'm
not left wishing for more than what they gave because i have nothing to compare it too.
Actually, false. I do want a bit more. I wanted more to that
ending. I would've like to have seen the way they "resolved" it. I
would have loved to have seen Ian finally get that shit smirk wiped off his
face. i would have definitely liked to have seen Tate's mom for once FINALLY just tell her "hey kid, your dad is a dick." Tate is 32 by now, she needs a dose of reality. or 500.
I would've liked to have seen the movie release, the ratings,
the reviews, Sam & Tate walking that red carpet with nothing but love and
pride in each others eyes for one another. i would have looooved to see the way they finally stood up for themselves.
Tate, i feel like was written very poorly. girl never had any control of her life in a sense. i would have liked to see her finally grow a pair of balls and just yell at the top of her lungs "FUCK Y'ALL THIS IS MY LIFE!!!!"
Literally anything but the fucking ending we get.
At first this book pissed me off with how...... 😡🤬
the grandma was. That whole shpeal about the room and views and just the way
she was depicted at the beginning. Gah. It bugged me.
Then the book started in the now real time and Tate talks
about how she was hurt by Sam and blah blah blah but it irked me because he
technically gave her what she wanted, albeit in a shitty way. he basically
paved the way for her and she's still to this day pissed. Idk. Its
weird to explain.
It was a shitty thing he did but she acts like she didn't
already want what his actions caused. I'm in no way defending Sam but I'm just
saying, shes playing the victim card a little too much. he gave you what you legit did not have the balls to go for. girl, you trippin.
once the story starts, i feel like i saw a bit more how Tate wasn't really in charge of her life...or how naive she is.
1. she is excited to film with her dad finally (i mean she's also nervous but shes asking for a lot here) and of course everyone knows its going to be a shit show (her mother, grandma and even best friend....in the sense that she is not going to get the reunion she wants) but no one tells her because....i don't fucking know. her grandma was a stickler in the beginning but basically by the end of this all, she's the only one that kept it real with her. Honestly, this was probably the best thing that CLo did for this story (is it CLo? i don't even know but that's what I'm calling them. lol) Grandma was the only one that was true to this story. she hated the motherfucker and she stayed true to her feels. she let it be known!
2. i know Marco is her PR and it has to be about sales but that scene with the magazine covers and what he tells her i was like F U H !!!!
"you okay with me sending this one? i know it makes you uneasy but its so fucking beautiful. I'm genuinely speechless."
this picture he is talking about reminds her of when her life changed and what i took from it is that it hurt her to see that photo because of all the pain it caused. she didn't want that one but of course she doesn't say anything. if you really think about it, how would i, a regular citizen, know that i am missing out on that special cover if its never released. i feel that celebrity-dom will eat anything up if they really "care" so it doesn't even matter. her feelings were just pushed aside. no matter the cover, that shit would have sold. she should have stood the fuck up for herself. and honestly, for as great as Marco was and how well he knows her, i feel that he should have known better.
3. i feel like home girl is oblivious to just life in general. i know in her life its been 14 years as opposed to the 100 pages or whatever that i read from when she was told the story to when she starts filming the movie, but how did she not know about the movie she was playing the lead in? and once she sees Sam...how did she not make the connection?
i mean, i saw it coming. and I'm horrible with figuring shit out.
how did she miss it? (i don't want to spoil it here).
i really did like this book and i liked the love story and even though Sam was a dick for what he did (actually, i really don't think he was tbh) i still love him and how it all plays out.
basically i feel this book is flawed in a lot of ways. not in the same ways other see it but that's the beauty in reading. we all see things differently, we interpret them differently.
i could go on and on and on and ooooonnnnnnnn about why this book fell a bit flat in a sense but then we'd be here forever so I'll just cut it here.
i definitely say pick this one up but don't expect things to be perfect. read this knowing you might leave pissed off lol. its a good read....to me personally, its just heavily flawed in the sense that Tate was so.....flat.... but I'm still genuinely glad i read it. I'm not even mad that i owe my library $.30 because i returned it a day late just so i could finish it.
anyway,
jump over for spoilers!
jump over for spoilers!
Tate and Sam meet in London and over the course of two weeks they fall in love.
she opens up to him and lets him know that she is actually Tate whatever the fuck (i returned my library book already so i cant verify her last name). Daughter of the infamous, Ian.....whatever his last name is.
he's all oh shiiiiiitttt....but Sam was genuinely a good guy.
they hang out, make love and then one day, she walks out of her London hotel with Grama and the paparazzi are there bombarding Tate with all of the questions in the world.
turns out Sam did sell her out.
but he sold her out because his grandfather, Luther was sick and dying and they didn't have the money to pay for his treatment. this was an opening and he took it. it gave them 10 more years with Luther.
this caused Tate to jump into stardom...after all, she did want to become an actress.
14 years have passed and she is on her way to film her first movie with her dad.
to cut this short...........
the movie, Milkweed, that she is working on was written by Sam.
but she didn't connect it because the name given to her was S.B.Hill and she doesn't know its him until she sees him and he lets her know (he had emailed her 4 times prior to let her know it was his movie she was acting in) that its his movie she's in.
and to cut the shit, the movie is based on Luther, Sam's black grandfather and Roberta his white grandmother and their relationship and how hard but rewarding it was to be together back when colored people couldn't be with white people. and up above when i said i cant believe she didn't realize it, i meant that in the beginning of the story, she is sitting at the table with Luther when he tells her that it was hard for them to be together especially when they set their barn on fire but Roberta did not give a single fuck.
in the movie, they burn a barn.
she knows Sam wrote the movie.
why the fuck did she not make the connection sooner that this was a story based on Sam's grandparents love story?!!!!????
(quick back story on Sam: Sam's dad, Michael, got his mom's preggers then had her ass deported. She decided she wanted Sam to stay and have a good life so Roberta raised him. Roberta, Michael's mother. Michael was a piece of shit so he bounced and was never a part of Sam's life. Roberta's first husband turned out to be a piece of shit too so she basically swore off men and took care of her father who suffered from Dementia until Luther came along and made his way in.)
anyway, they end up together, Roberta & Luther.
Sam was always sorry, and he always felt bad but his actions did get him another 10 years with Luther so he doesn't completely regret it.
the movie is filming in some farm in Northern California and since the movie has wrapped, she and Sam have made up.
the night of the wrap party, she runs into Sam and they go into a barn and she lets him know that they can be together but it can never get out that he is the one that sold the story to the media all those years ago or it will tear them apart.
they agree, walk out the barn to basically slam into her dad.
he was just standing there.
the entire time while filming the movie, he would give her hella back handed comments like "good job, kiddo...BUT this is is what you could have done better...." kind of deal. (this dude is old as fuck and is phasing out. and in this movie, hes not even a lead, hes a supporting actor. so you know hes bitter AF.) all of a sudden its "I'm proud of you" and shit like that.
the next day, Ian tells her that he wants to go have lunch with her in the little town. they go they chill, she tries to plan xmas with him, they eat, they leave and bam!!! paparazzi are everywhere and they start asking her "how does it feel to work with Sam who sold your story all those years ago?"
i know, you know, everyone knows that it was fucking Ian who called in the story and the dumb bitch still has the audacity to think it was some one else and that it could neeeever be her father.
J E S U S
she makes it back to the farm and Marco is there to take her home.
her mom and gma fly out to her in LA and eventually, they are taken away to South Carolina to hide out.
she's sitting on the beach with Marco when she realizes that she still has not read the 4 emails from Sam so she reads them. as she is reading them, she is balling her eyes out and Marco is booking her flight to Vermont where he lives.
it ends with her rolling up to his farm and telling him that she wants to do this with him.
they legit end the story with her walking up to his farm and the both of them laying on the ground looking up at the stars. just like they so long ago in London.
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