published: 2019
pages: 326
read: 8/9 to ? heard: 11/19-20/2019
book: 66 in 2019
I KNOW EVERYTHING FEELS HOPELESS TO YOU IN THIS MOMENT, BUT THIS IS JUST A MOMENT, AND MOMENTS PASS.
-BARRY (PG 5)
SYNOPSIS
Memory makes reality.
That’s what New York City cop Barry Sutton is learning as he investigates the devastating phenomenon the media has dubbed False Memory Syndrome—a mysterious affliction that drives its victims mad with memories of a life they never lived.
That's what neuroscientist Helena Smith believes. It’s why she’s dedicated her life to creating a technology that will let us preserve our most precious memories. If she succeeds, anyone will be able to re-experience a first kiss, the birth of a child, the final moment with a dying parent.
As Barry searches for the truth, he comes face-to-face with an opponent more terrifying than any disease—a force that attacks not just our minds but the very fabric of the past. And as its effects begin to unmake the world as we know it, only he and Helena, working together, will stand a chance at defeating it.
But how can they make a stand when reality itself is shifting and crumbling all around them?
MY THOUGHTS
SHORT VERSION
yea but like nah. this one wasn't for me.
LONG VERSION
I wanted to love this.
I really did.
Unfortunately, I'm not so crazy about it.
It's not a bad written book, I think it's pretty great in that aspect. The things that Blake writes about and the way he explains and twists and turns them and the details that go into his story telling is crazy amazing. Just, who I am as a reader doesn't click with this genre maybe. (i also wasnt too crazy about Dark Matter. TOO many Jason's.)
I got this from the library when it first came out about 12 weeks ago. I started it, took it with me to Arizona, ordered a copy off Amazon because I knew I wasn't going to be done before it was due and I knew I couldn't renew it. I got my copy picked it back up, put it back down and read 14 other books!
I don't know.
I just couldn't get into it.
...so I ordered the audio book through my library hoping i could get into and guess what!?
I could.....until I couldn't.
I started from the beginning and I found myself very invested in the parts I had already read. I even found myself understanding it more than I did the first time.
Then it got to the part I hadn't read and I found myself lost-ish once again.
And then, I feel like it just got a bit repetitive....and. it. wouldn't. fucking. end.
I'm all for women creating shit for the better of human kind, real or fictional.
But you gotta admit, wasn't it selfish of Helena to want to build a machine to save her mom's memories?
All that time wasted building the chair was time I feel she wasted not spending it with her mother making memories that she could've kept herself (but then the upside is that she was able to go back and spend way more time with her mother and see things in a new light...).
....and also, I know it's a story B U T the logic she has later on when she realizes the terror the chair causes, WHY DIDN'T SHE HAVE THAT LOGIC AS SHE WAS TRYING TO BUILD IT!????
She needed a shit load of money to build it.
What kind of intentions does she think the people that can finance this sorta thing have?
Later on, she's all "I don't want the government getting their hands on my shit" pero like, really?
I get it. She was so dead set on this thing happening.
She wanted this for her mother and others and she genuinely wanted to do good. And I get that when you want something so bad you can be blinded by the reality of it all that you, I dunno, i guess ignore the cold hard truth.
Humanity, H U M A N S, cannot handle this kind of technology or science or whatever. Not in a fake story. definitely not in real life.
(also i should note that i can't (and i'm not) really hold her "accountable" for the actions of others when her intention was to do good BUT i also feel like we all know our boundaries. and while we should never do things solely based on how others will react.....i feel like in this magnitude...maybe you shouldn't fuck with shit of this nature.)
And so whatever, all this shit happens and really?
That's how it's going to end?
Home girl built this shit to save memories, caused the end of the world basically 6 different times and that's how it ends?
pay attention to the dates.
that's all i will say.
i did at first but so many dates are thrown around that i was just like *head scratch* huh?
and i do see how me trying to insert reality into a story might be altering my views or whatever a little bit but that's the way i'm processing this book. take all of my "humans shouldn't be doing this kinda shit" talk out of this or whatever and it was still too long and repetitive and at times just gets you lost. i couldn't understand it most of the time and then the rest i just didn't even want to try to devote all my energy into it.
anyway, it is a good read and i think if i ever dive into it again, ill probably like it more.
but i don't really see myself doing that right now and I'm contemplating leaving my copy in a little free library so yea, for now, its just not for me.
ill do the most basic spoilers ever because i couldn't even if i tried.
thanks for reading!
*edit: apparently 2 neuroscientists implanted a fake memory in a mouse in 2002. so, there's that. 😔
Helena wants to build the chair but doesn't have the funds so she applies for grants that will never get approved so Slade hires her.
infinite money, all of the equipment she needs.
then he kills her.
why, honestly at this point i don't know / remember / idk wtf.
i think he knew that she was going to try to kill him since he kills her....idk, some infinite loop shit going on here.
i think he knew that she was going to try to kill him since he kills her....idk, some infinite loop shit going on here.
turns out that Slade was hired in another timeline to work for Helena. she meant to do one thing with the chair but it accidentally did another that only Slade caught so he kills her, makes a shit load of money and comes back in this lifetime as this rich ass foo who hires her.
in the end, Slade does what he wanted to do, which is release DMT to create even more vivid memories.
Helena is all wtf! she manages to escape and long story short, her and Barry live 6 different timelines that end up very damaging for human kind (because her chair info leaks and its sold to the Russians and Chinese and all this shit and they turn it into a massive mass destruction kind of weapon).
here is the thing: you can basically travel to any time in the past that you want and change whatever you want.
so Barry chooses to go to the night his daughter was killed.
he saves her they move one...blah blah blah
BUT if you time travel like that, on the day that you traveled into the past, in the "future" meaning like, i time travel today, 11/21/2019 (time line 1) back to idk, 1/5/1998 (time line 2), once 11/21/2019 (in time line 2) comes back around on this new timeline i am in (TL2), all of the memories from the original timeline (1) come back to me and so now i have memories of both Timelines in the life that i am currently in.
so if you time travel 65 times, well guess what? you have 65 timelines worth of memories. AND they all crash on you on the same day. so on 11/21/2019 at 11:02, you're eating a waffle and then at 11:03 all of a sudden, you remember 65 years worth of shit and you don't know what's real or whatever and well yea, people lose their shit.
anyway, all that to say THAT....because the chair info leaked out and everyone and their mom has knowledge, the first time once everyone knows, the Russians and shit threaten to bomb the US.
Helena and Barry time travel back....the Russians and shit remember that they threatened the US so they attack and this gets repeated 6 different times.
they try all these things to make it stop but they cant.
until Barry has the genius idea to ask Slade how he was able to stop all those memories from flooding back into people.
turns out that the only way to do so is by nipping it in the ass as close as possible.
Slade kills Helena on 11/5/2019 i think it was
whatever...
SO!
Barry has no idea wtf he was doing on 11/5.
but he does remember what he was doing 11/4. he was with Julia, his ex wife, celebrating their daughters bday.
on the 5th, he goes to Slade's apartment and i think kills him. (lol i forgot)
i mean, its a bit more complex than that but I'm. over. it.
and then it ends with Barry meeting Helena at a bar and I'm assuming using the one line on her that she always used on him.
a woman tries to create good, ends up causing chaos and a man has to fix it.
yawn.
a woman tries to create good, ends up causing chaos and a man has to fix it.
yawn.
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