published: 2015
pages: 210 (but 199 realistically) 
ISBN: 9780062348692
read: 11/15-24/2017
rating: 50/50. like yes but like eh
book: 30 of 29 for 2017. I AM DONE!

"he talked about the ocean between people. and how the whole point of everything is to find a shore worth swimming to." 
-Simon pg 19

Sixteen-year-old and not-so-openly gay Simon Spier prefers to save his drama for the school musical. But when an email falls into the wrong hands, his secret is at risk of being thrust into the spotlight. Now change-averse Simon has to find a way to step out of his comfort zone before he's pushed out—without alienating his friends, compromising himself, or fumbling a shot at happiness with the most confusing, adorable guy he's never met.

MY THOUGHTS
i wanted to blog about this the very minute that i was done with it but i told myself to give me some time because sometimes your emotions can change. 
and i wish i could say that that's what happened with this book but realistically, i still feel the same. 
like it was a cool read but i could have done without. 

this book was recommended to me and i bought it as an ebook a whiiiiiiile ago when it was on sale but it wasn't until we were taking off on our trip (post coming soon eventually) that i decided to give it a go. 
it was all good for me up until i found out who Blue was. 
its not that i didn't like Blue or the idea of Blue or what he was and what he meant to Simon, i just feel like the discovery took some of the fun of the story away. 
usually, I'm all for having a "life" after the plot has been given away and i desperately want to know what happens with them but in my honest opinion, had they solved everything beforehand with his blackmailer and his friends and then they would have revealed who blue was and then end scene, i think i would have loved it 1000 x's more. 

i do have to give it credit for this being more than just about Simon and Blue because there are other issues with him having to come out to his friends and family and he does have several issues with his friends that he realizes that he needs to work on (albeit, i wholeheartedly 100% think Leah is a bitch) that makes this book so much more than what it could have been had it all been just about finding out who Blue was. 

and so i guess all of this brings me to: 
HOW THE HELL ARE THEY MAKING THIS INTO A MOVIE!!!!????
for me, there isn't enough to make a movie of it. 
i did want to read this before the movie so i could watch it when it came out. 
but honestly, I'm going into it with super low expectations so hopefully it does for me what the book did not. 

anyway, so yea. 
been several days and i don't miss any of the characters and i still feel the same. 
thanks book but meh, no thanks. 

but there were a few hidden gems. 
here are some of my fave quotes.

"but I'm tired of coming out. all i ever do is come out. i try not to change, but i keep changing, in all these tiny ways...........and every freaking time, i have to reintroduce myself to the universe all over again." 
-Simon pg 41

"Bram was right: people are like houses with vast rooms and tiny windows. and maybe its a good thing, the way we never stop surprising each other." 
-Simon pg 193


spoilers below as always. 

thanks for reading! 
#lesreads on IG

published: 10/10/2017
pages: 286
ISBN: 9780525555360
read: 10/26-30/2017
rating: John Green, please NEVER stop writing! you are a genius!!!!
book: 29 of 29 for 2017. I AM DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i thought, lying there, that i might love him for the rest of my life. we did love each other--maybe we never said it, and maybe love was never something we were in, but it was something i felt. i loved him, and i thought, maybe i will never see him again, and I'll be stuck missing him, and isn't that so terrible. 

It’s quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you see.
Sixteen-year-old Aza never intended to pursue the mystery of fugitive billionaire Russell Pickett, but there’s a hundred-thousand-dollar reward at stake and her Best and Most Fearless Friend, Daisy, is eager to investigate. So together, they navigate the short distance and broad divides that separate them from Russell Pickett’s son, Davis.
   
Aza is trying. She is trying to be a good daughter, a good friend, a good student, and maybe even a good detective, while also living within the ever-tightening spiral of her own thoughts. 
 
In his long-awaited return, John Green, the acclaimed, award-winning author of Looking for Alaska and The Fault in Our Stars, shares Aza’s story with shattering, unflinching clarity in this brilliant novel of love, resilience, and the power of lifelong friendship.


MY THOUGHTS!
i don't even know where to start or what to say. 

John Green, you are a Genius. 
Please take your time with books but please, never stop writing. 

as you all know, I'm a fan of his work. i think I've read most of his books (proof here, here, here and here.) but i think this is by far his best book ever. 
i can't even begin to write about it without wanting you to read this all bundled up with a box of Kleenex next to you. 
it's true what they say; this story will make you cry. 

this is something else. 
this is John Green at his best. 
this is John Green making you fall in love all over again, introducing you to characters you want to love forever and making you cry at the end because damn can that man mess with your heart in the utter best way possible. 

i love this story for SO MANY reasons. 

i think it has to do with the fact that you think it will go one way, but it doesn't. you think it'll be about a certain couple but it isn't, that it will involve disaster in a bad way and while it does, it doesn't. 

i LOVED Aza. 
the way he wrote her. 
so flawed but still loved by Daisy (and obvs her mother). but also how she evolves in the end. how mental illness is just that, an illness. it doesn't define you forever if you treat it properly because there is always a way. 

I LOVED Daisy for being Daisy. for being Aza's friend when she wasn't getting a lot in return, for never faulting her for who she is even if there were a little moments of frustration here and there. for always being there through it all and mostly because she will always be there. 
they WILL always be there for each other. 
i love the friendship that they have. 
i love that this story is about friendship and the love that they have for each other without having to spell it out constantly. you know it's there. 
i love the honesty of this friendship. 
its not always the best. but it's real. 

i have to say that hands down my favorite part of the story (and the part that fucking broke me), is the end with Davis. 
i won't say what that is, but even her thought process about Love just fucking blew me away. 
it was like the extra closure that i needed to read. 

i can't even handle how good it was. 

also, that cover!!!! 
admittedly, i wasn't a fan of it at first. nothing about it drove me crazy. i did like the color though. and i had no idea why it was titled what it is (I'm pretty sure i could've googled it buuut i didn't) but after reading the story, it makes it that much more important that the cover and the title are what they are. 

i wont say more on here because ill spill my guts out in the spoilers but i definitely recommend that you read this book. 
take your time and love it. 
you won't regret it. 

and with that, this is my "final" book of 2017 and let me tell you, it did not let me down. 
hands down, my favorite read of the year. 
O F   M Y   L I F E!

ill leave ya with like 1,000 quotes. (i flagged the crap out of this book!) 

"...anybody can look at you. It's quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you see." 
- Aza pg 9

"no one ever says good-bye unless they want to see you again." 
-Davis pg 59

"Your now is not your forever." 
-Aza pg 93

"Being vulnerable is asking to get used." 
-Aza pg 108

"Oh no no no. Far from it. What i love about science is that as you learn, you don't really get answers. You just get better questions." 
-Malik pg 177

Part of me wanted to tell him i loved him, but i wasn't sure if i really did. Our hearts were broken in the same places. that's something like love. but maybe not quite the thing itself." 
pg 206

To be alive it to be missing. 
pg 281

THERE IS HOPE, EVEN WHEN YOUR BRAIN TELLS YOU THERE ISN'T. 
-John Green

there are a million and one things that i could say about this book i just don't know how or where to start. 
I'm pretty sure my little ass review did not do this book justice but just know that this book is golden. i can't even properly convey to you how amazing this book is. 
its John Green at his finest. 
its written in his voice so well. besides Nicola Yoon, i have not come across another YA writer that makes me feel like they're writing for just more than the YA fans. it speaks to everyone. 
its a love story, its a friendship story. its a family story. its a heartbreak story. 
its all of these subjects rolled into one and he just wraps this up so beautifully. I'm seriously mad that i don't have the proper words to describe this to you because it deserves so much more than i can ever speak on. 

FUCKING LOVE IS AMAZING NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!!

thanks for reading!
jump on over for spoilers. 
#lesreads on IG

PS: if a movie is ever made, don't you see Miles Teller playing Davis? 
all of the hell yes!!!!!!