turtles all the way down // John Green


published: 10/10/2017
pages: 286
ISBN: 9780525555360
read: 10/26-30/2017
rating: John Green, please NEVER stop writing! you are a genius!!!!
book: 29 of 29 for 2017. I AM DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i thought, lying there, that i might love him for the rest of my life. we did love each other--maybe we never said it, and maybe love was never something we were in, but it was something i felt. i loved him, and i thought, maybe i will never see him again, and I'll be stuck missing him, and isn't that so terrible. 

It’s quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you see.
Sixteen-year-old Aza never intended to pursue the mystery of fugitive billionaire Russell Pickett, but there’s a hundred-thousand-dollar reward at stake and her Best and Most Fearless Friend, Daisy, is eager to investigate. So together, they navigate the short distance and broad divides that separate them from Russell Pickett’s son, Davis.
   
Aza is trying. She is trying to be a good daughter, a good friend, a good student, and maybe even a good detective, while also living within the ever-tightening spiral of her own thoughts. 
 
In his long-awaited return, John Green, the acclaimed, award-winning author of Looking for Alaska and The Fault in Our Stars, shares Aza’s story with shattering, unflinching clarity in this brilliant novel of love, resilience, and the power of lifelong friendship.


MY THOUGHTS!
i don't even know where to start or what to say. 

John Green, you are a Genius. 
Please take your time with books but please, never stop writing. 

as you all know, I'm a fan of his work. i think I've read most of his books (proof here, here, here and here.) but i think this is by far his best book ever. 
i can't even begin to write about it without wanting you to read this all bundled up with a box of Kleenex next to you. 
it's true what they say; this story will make you cry. 

this is something else. 
this is John Green at his best. 
this is John Green making you fall in love all over again, introducing you to characters you want to love forever and making you cry at the end because damn can that man mess with your heart in the utter best way possible. 

i love this story for SO MANY reasons. 

i think it has to do with the fact that you think it will go one way, but it doesn't. you think it'll be about a certain couple but it isn't, that it will involve disaster in a bad way and while it does, it doesn't. 

i LOVED Aza. 
the way he wrote her. 
so flawed but still loved by Daisy (and obvs her mother). but also how she evolves in the end. how mental illness is just that, an illness. it doesn't define you forever if you treat it properly because there is always a way. 

I LOVED Daisy for being Daisy. for being Aza's friend when she wasn't getting a lot in return, for never faulting her for who she is even if there were a little moments of frustration here and there. for always being there through it all and mostly because she will always be there. 
they WILL always be there for each other. 
i love the friendship that they have. 
i love that this story is about friendship and the love that they have for each other without having to spell it out constantly. you know it's there. 
i love the honesty of this friendship. 
its not always the best. but it's real. 

i have to say that hands down my favorite part of the story (and the part that fucking broke me), is the end with Davis. 
i won't say what that is, but even her thought process about Love just fucking blew me away. 
it was like the extra closure that i needed to read. 

i can't even handle how good it was. 

also, that cover!!!! 
admittedly, i wasn't a fan of it at first. nothing about it drove me crazy. i did like the color though. and i had no idea why it was titled what it is (I'm pretty sure i could've googled it buuut i didn't) but after reading the story, it makes it that much more important that the cover and the title are what they are. 

i wont say more on here because ill spill my guts out in the spoilers but i definitely recommend that you read this book. 
take your time and love it. 
you won't regret it. 

and with that, this is my "final" book of 2017 and let me tell you, it did not let me down. 
hands down, my favorite read of the year. 
O F   M Y   L I F E!

ill leave ya with like 1,000 quotes. (i flagged the crap out of this book!) 

"...anybody can look at you. It's quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you see." 
- Aza pg 9

"no one ever says good-bye unless they want to see you again." 
-Davis pg 59

"Your now is not your forever." 
-Aza pg 93

"Being vulnerable is asking to get used." 
-Aza pg 108

"Oh no no no. Far from it. What i love about science is that as you learn, you don't really get answers. You just get better questions." 
-Malik pg 177

Part of me wanted to tell him i loved him, but i wasn't sure if i really did. Our hearts were broken in the same places. that's something like love. but maybe not quite the thing itself." 
pg 206

To be alive it to be missing. 
pg 281

THERE IS HOPE, EVEN WHEN YOUR BRAIN TELLS YOU THERE ISN'T. 
-John Green

there are a million and one things that i could say about this book i just don't know how or where to start. 
I'm pretty sure my little ass review did not do this book justice but just know that this book is golden. i can't even properly convey to you how amazing this book is. 
its John Green at his finest. 
its written in his voice so well. besides Nicola Yoon, i have not come across another YA writer that makes me feel like they're writing for just more than the YA fans. it speaks to everyone. 
its a love story, its a friendship story. its a family story. its a heartbreak story. 
its all of these subjects rolled into one and he just wraps this up so beautifully. I'm seriously mad that i don't have the proper words to describe this to you because it deserves so much more than i can ever speak on. 

FUCKING LOVE IS AMAZING NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!!

thanks for reading!
jump on over for spoilers. 
#lesreads on IG

PS: if a movie is ever made, don't you see Miles Teller playing Davis? 
all of the hell yes!!!!!!

San Francisco! (& San Jose & Santa Cruz!)


I originally wasn't going to do a post for this trip cause i didn't think i took enough pictures to justify one but last week i spent all of Friday & Saturday going over ALL OF MY PICTURES that i needed to edit so that i can print 'em out at Costco and it turns out, i sorta did have enough!
(side note: i haven't printed out our pics since July....so it was a lot!) 

anyway.....we had an open weekend, so i tricked him into going. hehe
he's been wanting to go to that damn Winchester House FOREVER and as usual he kept talking about it but not going through with it. 
so i told him that i had bought the tickets for the tour and that we were going; all he had to do was book the room. 
he got sooooooooo excited. 

i hadn't booked shit. lol. 
i had to make him admit that he did want to go and that the drive was worth it so i could get the wheels in motion. 

after all that, we got the tour tickets and booked the hotel. 

I'm always down for a 1 day trip, i don't care where. but this time i convinced him to leave on Friday night so that we could have all of Saturday in San Fran. (we booked our hotel in San Jose like 5 mins away from the Winchester House). 
my idea worked out great!

Saturday, we drove to San Francisco, which is about an hr and some minutes away and headed for the Golden Gate Bridge. 


Ive been to SF before but with family so we mostly did the touristy stuff and then headed to Oakland and the last time i went years ago with friends, i apparently did not do SF right. 

anyway, we drove to the bridge, got off walked around took about 1000 pictures and then as we were getting ready to leave, this bus pulls up. you know those buses. the ones that total tourist do! that you swear you would never do in your own city.

we did the damn bus. 

AND IT WAS THE BEST FREAKING THING EVER!!!!!

apparently, if i would have crossed the bridge ($7), i would have been going away from SF into Sausalito. which i should have know but...i didn't. 

so we get on the bus, it crosses up to Sausalito and it. is. so. beautiful!!!!!!!!!
i wish we would have gotten off and walked around but we were on a time restraint so we stayed on the bus and headed back to SF to see the rest. 

ahhh! <3 <3 <3 <3 

i just want to remember that we were sitting on top of a double decker bus hauling ass on the freeway dodging branches about 90% of the time. 

it was the best! lol 

from there, we got off that bus and jumped on another bus that took us all over SF and honestly, that place is soooooo much bigger than i even thought it was. 
we're definitely going back and doing an entire weekend. 

he was so amazed that he wasn't even on his phone and honestly, i think that was my highlight!!!
since we also didn't really know how the bus deal worked (i mean, we sorta did),we just stayed on and did the whole thing by bus and honestly, good freaking call because we saw WAY MORE than i would have ever been able to show him had i driven (and we didn't have to look for parking like crazy.) these were just a few of the spots...i wish i would have gotten a lot more pictures because there was soooo much! 

after it takes you everywhere it ends up i guess at the beginning of the tour (not even sure where that's at tbh). we got off at Fisherman's wharf had some drinks and then had a late lunch. i regret that we didn't hit up Pier 39 which is like a 5 minute walk from where we were at but i wasn't even thinking about that then. 

wherever you get dropped off, you can jump back on the bus and do the tour all over again. but we wanted to get going so we just got a lyft and apparently we were only about 20 mins from where we had originally started.

we left around 630 so we were right on time to catch the sunset and...all of the heart eye emojis!!! 
 

we pulled over on some random street that leads you out of the bridge area to head back to San Jose and that sunset was sooooooo beautiful! i can't even begin to describe! 

San Francisco, we love you and we WILL be back!!!
from there, we left back to San Jose to do what we headed out to do; go to this damn house. I'm a huge chicken shit so...ya know.
you wait out here before you get called in to go in with your group. 

the entire reason we went on this trip was this freaking house and if I'm being 100000% honest, it blew.
a) its pricey AF. it was like $90 for the both of us to do the Halloween tour at like 11pm. 
b) the actor we got was cool but just, too much.
c) everything is freaking closed off so you're basically just going in a straight line throughout the house. 

I'm going to assume that you can just google the story if you want to know what's up with this house. 
but quickly, home girl built this house after her husband died because someone told her something about some spirits getting her. she had construction going on for years until she died. (google it because who even knows if I'm right) i think home girl (our tour guide) said that the house was once 7 stories tall but that there was an earthquake not that long ago that knocked down the top 3 so now there's only 4 (but only take you to the first 3).

they walk you all over and tell you stories of said rooms and then they randomly have people in each room doing, idk, bits for you. 
example: there was a tarot reader and she'd put these cards in a cup and the cup in the little replica of the house. she'd then close the house and the cards would levitate to give her answers to her questions. 
we were to the left of her so we could see her making the motions in back to get it all moving. 
i mean, everyone had to have known it was fake. but like, you know. 

other than that, because its all mostly windows and half walls, you can see the actors hiding so i was able to catch them early enough so that they wouldn't scare me but someone else. lol.
i mean, don't get me wrong, the entire time i was chanting "i do not accept you" just in case a spirit wanted to come back with me. lol. I'm not kidding. but it wasn't really that creepy at all. 

i think the Halloween tour was a bit TOO much but apparently a friend of mine did a regular tour and he said that it wasn't that great either.  


the house has also been touched up, i mean of course given the age of the house but nothing about it felt malicious. i was more scared at Hearst Castle than I was here and that i am aware of, nothing bad happened over there. 
i also think that it doesn't help that its on a main street. so right in front of this house is, i think a hotel or something.  i mean, don't get me wrong, i wouldn't go into that house by myself with a flashlight, you couldn't pay me enough, but it just was not what we were expecting. 
personally, i didn't care and i was kinda glad it wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be but he was pissed. bahahhaha. oh well!
we were beat by then (id only slept like 6 hrs total in the last 3 days) so we got in&out and passed out. 
gold member boyfriend <3 // he's making fun of me for protecting that little muffin. 
it was SO good!!!

on Sunday, we check out and i decided that we should go to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk. 
I've seen it on IG and I've always wanted to go so i looked it up. 
and for some reason, it said there was no route so i googled for something else to do. 
and we got The Mystery Spot!!!

let me tell you though! THAT DRIVEEE!!!!!!
best freaking drive ever! 
its just you in the forest and its the bestttt!!!

its up there with that drive on the 1. 
UGH!!!! i want to go back!!!!!!!!
we were going to go into the mystery spot and do the tour but you need a reservation and the next one wasn't until 330 (it was like 140 when we went) but the cashier gave us a map and told us we could go to the boardwalk if we wanted to (BINGO!!!) and then just come back. 
she for some reason didn't want to take his card and preferred cash so we were going to come back but then we found the boardwalk AND OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES!
its everything i thought it would be and then 1000% times more!!!!
 

this was the freaking best!!!!!!!!!!
that boardwalk is amazing!!!
all we have (i mean we have a lot) is Santa Monica and this one DEFINITELY blows SM out of the water. 
this place is huge, they have all sorts of rides for everyone and the beach!!!!! and that little pool water lake area whatever its called. 

ahh!!!!

San Francisco was a hit, Santa Cruz was a hit. 
this entire trip was a hit!!!!

Santa Cruz beach is so awesome, we even saw some juggalos, full makeup and all, dressed in black chillin on the beach. 

BEST FREAKING TRIP EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i still cant believe we did all that.
and i cant wait for our trip next month!!!!

if you read all that!, thanks!! that's why i love you! 
i hope you have a good rest of your week!!! 
 

the silent corner / dean koontz

published: 2017
pages: 452 (but technically, 434 cause the rest are the first few chapters of the next book) 
ISBN: 9780345545992
read: 10/7-23/2017
rating: Dean Koontz, you son of a gun, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
book: 28 of 29 for 2017



“I very much need to be dead.”

These are the chilling words left behind by a man who had everything to live for—but took his own life. In the aftermath, his widow, Jane Hawk, does what all her grief, fear, and fury demand: find the truth, no matter what.

People of talent and accomplishment, people admired and happy and sound of mind, have been committing suicide in surprising numbers. When Jane seeks to learn why, she becomes the most-wanted fugitive in America. Her powerful enemies are protecting a secret so important—so terrifying—that they will exterminate anyone in their way.

But all their power and viciousness may not be enough to stop a woman as clever as they are cold-blooded, as relentless as they are ruthless—and who is driven by a righteous rage they can never comprehend. Because it is born of love

MY THOUGHTS!
I FINALLY READ A FREAKING BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes, that warrants that many exclamation points!
I've been in such a reading funk that man! and then this book called me to it so i gave it a go and wow. 

B got it for me (at Costco, woot woot!) when it came out but i just started it at the beginning of the month and man! once i got into it i was reading it everywhere! even at our day date at a bar. lulz. and when i didn't have it, it was all i wanted and i hated that i didn't have it with me. 

I've been reading Dean Koontz since i was in 9th grade and i graduated 10 years ago, so its been a while and I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it before but it's always a trip to read his newer stuff with all of today's things going on. specially all of the references it has in regards to "newer things". i read Dean Koontz because he's mostly mystery and stuff that won't "really happen" and because I'm a huge chicken shit and hate scary stuff but this book was a little too....well basically, with all the conspiracy theories going on....dudes on it with this book. 
can you imagine next generation reading his old stuff and then his new (now) stuff and thinking wtf! just like i currently am!
amazing!

at first i had a little bit of trouble getting into it. not because it was bad, because it's not, but because i didn't really know what it was about. we just know that Jane is seeking answers for what happened to her husband, Nick. 
he committed suicide even though he never really showed any signs (i won't get into that subject here because it's not for me to talk about) but she knows that it wasn't his doing. 

so then she goes on a solo woman mission to find out wtf is up. 
AND SHE DOES!!!!
and ahhh!!!

i love JANE!!!1
like don't get me wrong, for as straight minded as she is and how cautious she is about her steps and what she needs to do and how focused she needs to be to not get caught, there were several times that she messed up that had me all ARGH!
but she takes names, kicks ass and gets it done!
....but that deal with the bags bugs the crap out of me! everything has been checked and studied but those bags! (i won't say much because, spoilers). 

i LOVED this book. its been a while that a Dean Koontz books has left me reeling like this. the last few were good but not to this caliber. so I'm definitely excited to jump on the second book. 
thanks to Netgalley, i was able to score an advance readers copy but I'm not sure if I'll read it yet. i love this too much to cheat! (but i probably will!) 

i cannot wait to see what she gets into in the second book and i cannot wait to see how this series closes out. 

i definitely recommend this book, but if you're more of a movie person, i guess you can watch the Manchurian candidate. i guess its something like that (i have not seen the movie but its been compared). but still!....or that episode of Rick & Morty where Unity takes over. 

basically this book is....you get so much more at the end than what you were expecting it to be in the beginning. 
the way it ends is so much more than i could have even thought of it being in the beginning. 

damn, Koontz, I LOVE YOU!


ahh! 
okay jump on over for spoilers! 


thanks for reading. 
#lesreads on IG

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