published: 2019
pages: 250
read: 6/8-21/2019
book: 42 in 2019

When Leslie Morgan divorced after a twenty-year marriage, both her self-esteem and romantic optimism were shattered. She was determined to avoid the cliché of the “lonely, middle-aged divorcée” lamenting her stretch marks and begging her kids to craft her online dating profile. Instead, Leslie celebrated her independence with an audacious plan: she would devote a year to seeking out five lovers in hopes of unearthing the erotic adventures and authentic connections long missing from her life.

Clumsy and clueless at first, she overcame mortifying early missteps, buoyed by friends and blind faith. And so she found men at yoga class, the airport, and high school reunions—all without the torture of dating websites. Along the way she uncovered new truths about sex, aging, men, self-confidence, and what it means to be an older woman today.

Packed with fearless, evocative details, The Naked Truth is a rare, unexpected, and wildly entertaining memoir about a soccer mom who rediscovers the magic of sexual and emotional connection, and the lasting gifts of reveling in your femininity at every age.

MY THOUGHTS
tbh, 100% i only read this because the author and i share the same name and because i liked the cover.....but isnt that how ya find some good ones? 

but yea, this is a story about Leslie and her married life that led to her not being married anymore. 
she had been in her marriage for years and stayed in it for years even after she knew it had ended. 
prior to this marriage, she had been in an abusive relationship. one where it even went as far as him holding a gun to her head telling her he would end it all if she didn't behave and all this other shit. 
so why did she stay in her second marriage knowing it was over? well because after physical abuse, she didn't realize that there was such a thing as emotional abuse. 
she details the end of her marriage and how he would belittle her and the deterioration of the marriage. 

then she talks about discovering herself. 
herself, her relationships with others, her sexuality, her...everything. 
she makes this deal where she'll date for a year, she'll date x amount of guys (i forgot how many guys. not that it was that many i just genuinely do not remember) and she'll rediscover herself.

and then she does. 

and some where fun and some were great and some led to a relationship.....and it all led to her realizing that it's hard to break habits. 

overall, this book is about self discovery. 
so if you're into that, then this is the book for you. 

i did like it. it just took me awhile. and maybe it took me a while because this isn't my usual read. but i should note that it does reference a lot of her sexual activities so....if that's not your cup of tea then don't read this. 

but yea....
(it seems like i dont have a lot to say about this book but that's just what happens when you snooze on "reviews"....) 

thanks for reading!
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published: 2018
pages: 370
heard/read: 6/18-19/2019
book: 41 in 2019

There are no more cheerleaders in the town of Sunnybrook.

First there was the car accident--two girls dead after hitting a tree on a rainy night. Not long after, the murders happened. Those two girls were killed by the man next door. The police shot him, so no one will ever know his reasons. Monica's sister was the last cheerleader to die. After her suicide, Sunnybrook High disbanded the cheer squad. No one wanted to be reminded of the girls they'd lost.

That was five years ago. Now the faculty and students at Sunnybrook High want to remember the lost cheerleaders. But for Monica, it's not that easy. She just wants to forget.

Only, Monica's world is starting to unravel. There are the letters in her step dad's desk, an unearthed, years-old cell phone, a strange new friend at school. . . . Whatever happened five years ago isn't over. Some people in town know more than they're saying. And somehow, Monica is at the center of it all.

MY THOUGHTS 
SHORT VERSION
the premise is intriguing. the delivery...mmmm...not so much but i do think it had a lot of potential. 

LONG VERSION
so. 
that synopsis, to me, is a bit off. 
i mean, yes. all 5 are dead BUT well, they're not really all "connected". 

first off, there is the car accident. 
then there's the murders and because i doubt anyone is going to read this so it doesn't matter if i "spoil" it, there's a suicide. (maybe someone will read it and im just being a dick but that's how i feel about it.) 
only the murders and suicide are "connected". the car accident was more so connected to the suicide because home girl couldn't handle it and i think she was supposed to be with them or idk, i don't remember. but i think she felt guilty about it. but she was supposed to be with the girls who got murdered but she ended up sick so avoided it per se. 

i feel like this story had A LOT of potential. i mean, 5 DEAD CHEERLEADERS!!!!!
how do you fulfill that premise and make it work!? ultimately, i feel like the overall-ness of this story didn't deliver. 

This house was made for someone without a soul. 
So i guess it makes sense that my mother wanted it so badly. 

that's a little bit of a harsh start. that got me hooked in the beginning and i was thinking that the mother was a bad person in a way but now that i am done with the book i realize that maybe Monica meant it as like a metaphor of some sort or just that Monica is dramatic as fuck. lets go with the latter. 

Monica is Jen's sister. 
Jen is one of the 5. 
Jen is the only one who survived both accidents and then took her life because she couldn't cope with the guilt. but i do think it had to do with way more than that. at least that's what i got from it. she was depressed for a while but all of this just pushed it over the edge. 

Bethany & Colleen were in a car accident and Susan & Juliana were murdered in Susan's home. 
to get the point, B & C's accident was completely, simply, just that; an accident. (i mean caused by someone else but still an accident.) (which now that its been a while, what a dick move to know who caused it and NEVER open your mouth about it just because your feelings are more important than others.) 
J & S on the other hand, well, that was definitely murder. the only two that fit the synopsis. 

to be honest, i don't even remember what started Monica's whole shindig with this. 
i just remember that home girl got a job at a golf course or something and she had just gone through a break up so she hooks up with some dude Brandon who, tbh, total pedophile. 
he's almost 10 years older than her and she is 15? 16? 
either age, she was nowhere near 18 so, ya know. 

anyway, something lights a fire under Monica's ass and she starts hounding everyone she can to get information. (she finds her sister's old cellphone in her stepfather's desk as well as a set of letters that state that he (her stepfather) needs to uncover the truth or some shit because that person knows they got the wrong dude) she takes her phone, sees that the day of, or before, i don't remember, she had made a call to an unsaved number and then she starts a conversation with that person. 

its weird to me that Monica would super 1000% confide in people she doesn't know and not people she does know. but then again if she had, would they have believed her anyway? would we have gotten the murder? 

so yea, she goes through all this shit to uncover the truth. 
and of course she has her circle of friends but she decides to confide in Ginny. 
so they both go on missions to uncover the truth. 
.
.
.
and they do. 

for the most part. 

here's the thing. 
this book would have been pretty cool had it been i don't know, shorter? 
i get that ultimately it all needed to be in there to complete the story or whatever but I'm pretty sure that it could have been tied up sooner, faster, neater? 
it was just, i heard this as an audio book/also read along and even then half of the time i wasn't intrigued or super into it.  
its 9 hrs long and with 2.5 hrs left, i was ready to just ditch it. 

i looked for spoilers and i found out who did it right away but still kept going at it cause at the moment that i found out who'd dun it (very early on in the book) i was still very interested in the how. but once it got into the whole searching for the killer aspect of it, it just dragged. 
and so that just dragged for me. 

and the end!!!!
that last chapter!!!!

i have no feelings for Ginny. she is who she is and that's it. 
she didn't steer anything in me but now knowing what i know, I'm more....!!!!!, that Monica didn't question anything. well, she does, but Ginny is very convincing. 
Ginny is a conniving little thing. 
she had answers to questions Monica hadn't even thought of asking yet. 
and all in all, considering Ginny has a first row view to all that Monica was thinking / going through, i think she's 100% a bitch for knowing what she knows and not speaking about it. all because she is too, i don't know, embarrassed or whatever. 
i know that 5 years ago she was a kid (....but not really, she would have been 12 since the 5 year anniversary is coming up and she had turned 17 just a few days prior and you know...) and she was acting on fear or revenge or whatever but i feel that now at 17, she cant because of her logic but also because she has to know that if she opens her mouth, they'll drag her for it. at least, i think. i think if she would have had physiological help, it would have been a different thing. 
it just sucks that those girls parents want to know why but they never will because Ginny would rather not talk. 

i'd be afraid of her, tbh. 

(ya know what, FUCK GINNY.)

either way: 
-a lot is happening
-way too many people involved
-too many questions arise that are left unanswered. 
-too long. it involves TOO much for what (i feel) little it gave you in the end. 

....and apparently, its based on a true story. sorta-ish. 
YIKES!

this post is just as long as the book itself. either way, spoilers after the jump.

thanks for reading!
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The Overdue Life of Amy Byler by [Harms, Kelly]

published: 2019
pages: 314
read: 5/19-30/2019
book: 40 in 2019

Sometimes a book about other people's problems is way better than your own.

SYNOPSIS
Overworked and under appreciated, single mom Amy Byler needs a break. So when the guilt-ridden husband who abandoned her shows up and offers to take care of their kids for the summer, she accepts his offer and escapes rural Pennsylvania for New York City.
Usually grounded and mild mannered, Amy finally lets her hair down in the city that never sleeps. She discovers a life filled with culture, sophistication, and—with a little encouragement from her friends—a few blind dates. When one man in particular makes quick work of Amy’s heart, she risks losing herself completely in the unexpected escape, and as the summer comes to an end, Amy realizes too late that she must make an impossible decision: stay in this exciting new chapter of her life, or return to the life she left behind.
But before she can choose, a crisis forces the two worlds together, and Amy must stare down a future where she could lose both sides of herself, and every dream she’s ever nurtured, in the beat of a heart.

MY THOUGHTS
SHORT VERSION
i liked this read even though it took me a while to read it. 
i think because part of it hit home....

LONG VERSION
I'm not sure why it took me a while to write this down but honestly, I think it boils down to sheer laziness.
Buuuuuuut good things come to those who wait I guess.

I liked this book. I really did.

I'm happy that Amy gets situated so to speak, at the end of the  book.
I'm glad that she was able to find what she was missing at the end of the book even if it happened a bit backwards.
I'm glad that she realizes that her relationship with her husband was what it was and maybe at some point she also had a fault in the falling out but I'm glad that at the end of it all, she realizes that no matter the time and history they had, that it's over. That shes worth AND deserves more just like he does as well. No animosity. 

There's a line towards the end where she mentions John going to sleep in order to process and deal with a dire situation while shes left in the real world to actually process and deal with what is going on at the moment...and that was, wow. Honestly, I didn't even realize that that could a) be a coping mechanism and b) how hurtful it could be to another person.
I'm not married so I cant really speak on that. I just,  That blew my mind because in my head it's a partnership and I can see where at times one has to carry more than the other but, imagine all the time? i think we both realized then and there just how damaged her marriage was.

I'm not sure why it took me a while to read this. It was a good book and even though I'm also not a mother I can see what it meant for her to have this #momspringa. I think maybe it took me a bit longer because it was an emotional read of some sort.
While I am not a mother or a wife, I am the daughter of a woman that has gone through this.

Overall, I'm happy for everything that Amy went through.
It hurts to hurt at the moment and it's such a fucking cliche, but everything does happen for a reason and while you can't handle it at the moment, the reward is so much better than you could've imagined.

the only thing that bugged me was that the kids had to stop being kids and be grown ups. 

and that's such a shitty thing to do. a kid should have the time to be a kid no matter the situation. they should be adults when its their time to be adults. not when shit hits the fan...in Amy's case, i understand the need for their assistance but it just broke my heart because i also understand that feeling of needing to grow up before it's your time.

anyway, its been soo long....so ill try to do spoilers as best as possible.

"I get this now. I get now that you can love what you have, love your kids and your life and your friends, and still want more. I get that it’s ok to go out and get more—more love, more friendship, more fulfillment—and still be a wonderful mom."



thanks for reading,
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