published: 2018
pages: 304
heard: 4/12-158/2019
rating: i think the epilogue was my favorite part. 
book: 33 in 2019

"If i truly loved Layla, i would have known her anywhere."


She went missing. He moved on. A whole world of secrets remained―until now.

Finn and Layla are young, in love, and on vacation. They’re driving along the highway when Finn decides to stop at a service station to use the restroom. He hops out of the car, locks the doors behind him, and goes inside. When he returns Layla is gone―never to be seen again. That is the story Finn told to the police. But it is not the whole story.

Ten years later Finn is engaged to Layla’s sister, Ellen. Their shared grief over what happened to Layla drew them close and now they intend to remain together. Still, there’s something about Ellen that Finn has never fully understood. His heart wants to believe that she is the one for him...even though a sixth sense tells him not to trust her.

Then, not long before he and Ellen are to be married, Finn gets a phone call. Someone from his past has seen Layla―hiding in plain sight. There are other odd occurrences: Long-lost items from Layla’s past that keep turning up around Finn and Ellen’s house. Emails from strangers who seem to know too much. Secret messages, clues, warnings. If Layla is alive―and on Finn’s trail―what does she want? And how much does she know?
MY THOUGHTS
SHORT VERSION
i think the synopsis is off. he didn't not trust Ellen. he didn't start...well, i wont spoil here but yeah. Finn is a dick and the epilogue is my fave thing is this entire story

LONG VERSION

look, besides the whole bat shit crazy person deal, this is the perfect story on how one should learn to control their temper because, well, when ya don't, shit hits the fan. 

have you read this? 
did you see the twist? 
i (like always), cheated so i don't really know how well i would have caught on like all the people that didn't like it on goodreads did had i not. 
i think because of my previous read it was fresh in my mind that it was a possibility that i might have but had i not read that book i don't know that i would have? iduno. 

i didn't read this. i listened to it. (apparently its tradition with BAP books) and i think i enjoyed it because i listened to it. 
i don't know how it would've fared had i read it. 

personally, i liked it. well, i didn't LIIIIIIIKE it, like it. it's more like I'm not mad that i spent 8 hrs listening to it. it wasn't anything too crazy. the plot isn't something that you need to super invest yourself into. and those are my fave kind; when I'm actually working while listening to a book that doesn't require ALL of my attention. just enough to get it all.  

Finn & Layla are coming home from a trip and then she's missing. 
and of course there is waaaaay more to that BUT i guess what i should jump into is 
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET ENGAGED TO YOUR EX GIRLFRIENDS SISTER!?????????
no, not even. more like WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVEN DATE YOUR EXGF's SISTER!!!???
in what planet is that a good idea!? i mean, on my end, i would never do that! just, WHY!!!? 
that was a part of the story that i just could not get over. it makes the whole story so that's why, obvs. but i just mean in general as a life choice ya know. 

agh. 
Ellen. 
she just seemed tiny. 
like her role was played out as a tiny little thing. she wasn't really a thing. i mean she was there but i guess what I'm trying to say is....she really doesn't live up to her performance. she's just there. her "performance" is not memorable. its not outstanding. you forget her real quick. i mean, we need her. but you mostly forget she's there. 

its mostly all Finn. and Finn was suuuuch an asshole. 
saying that he gets what he deserves is a bit harsh because he didn't deserve someone else's mess just because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. but the ending suites him because this motherfucker really needed to control his anger. and ultimately its his actions that land him where he ends up. 
he has issues man. 
he should've been focused on taking care of that instead of worrying about Layla before, during and after her disappearance. that's what happens when you....well, i don't want to spoil it. 

and the neighbors....were they really necessary? 
they could have done without. there was no need for them really. they were just there to be there. i guess to create extra pages or whatever. 

anyway, i wont lie, i am happy i heard this book. i don't hate it like everyone else on GR seems too. its a free audio listen and you can't hate on that. and truuuust me....there's been audiobooks that I've wanted to give up on. was it a good story? yea. not like the super best and maybe it had potential to be extraordinarily better but its still not bad. 
I'm sure ill keep listening to all of Paris' books.

UPDATE BEFORE I EVEN POST THE POST: Okay. so. look, i can see why its not  a fave for a lot of people. BUT can we all get behind the idea that, had it had more UMPH, this story could have kicked ass!? the idea behind it is amazing! had it had more of a kick it could have been amazing. 

I'm choosing to like this story for what it was trying to be. the possibility is what makes me like this story...and Ive never had that happen before. the concept, the idea, that was great. the execution...well, i loved the epilogue. its not a bad story.  

spoilers down below!

thanks for reading! 


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published: 2019
pages: 309
read: 4/8-10/19 
rating: OMFG! all of the yes in the world!
book: 32 in 2019

"no, it would be a huge coincidence that we lived on the same street as the victim, then moved to the same street as the murderer." Lloyd

Catching a killer is dangerous—especially if he lives next door
From the hugely talented author of The Kind Worth Killing comes an exquisitely chilling tale of a young suburban wife with a history of psychological instability whose fears about her new neighbor could lead them both to murder . . .

Hen and her husband Lloyd have settled into a quiet life in a new house outside of Boston, Massachusetts. Hen (short for Henrietta) is an illustrator and works out of a studio nearby, and has found the right meds to control her bipolar disorder. Finally, she’s found some stability and peace.
But when they meet the neighbors next door, that calm begins to erode as she spots a familiar object displayed on the husband’s office shelf. The sports trophy looks exactly like one that went missing from the home of a young man who was killed two years ago. Hen knows because she’s long had a fascination with this unsolved murder—an obsession she doesn’t talk about anymore, but can’t fully shake either.
Could her neighbor, Matthew, be a killer? Or is this the beginning of another psychotic episode like the one she suffered back in college, when she became so consumed with proving a fellow student guilty that she ended up hurting a classmate?
The more Hen observes Matthew, the more she suspects he’s planning something truly terrifying. Yet no one will believe her. Then one night, when she comes face to face with Matthew in a dark parking lot, she realizes that he knows she’s been watching him, that she’s really on to him. And that this is the beginning of a horrifying nightmare she may not live to escape. . .


MY THOUGHTS
SHORT VERSION
YES YES YES!!!!!!!! 

LONG VERSION
FUCK YES!
I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to go back to reading regular non-thriller books. 
i mean....how? 

agh! this one was sooooo good. 

of all the books that i got from the library, I'm not sure why i thought this was the least one to give me trouble renewing. turns out there was a hold for it and so i had to sorta rush through it as best as possible. 
as i was reading it, i kinda gave up and jumped to the last few chapters and i was like OH SHIT!
and because i didn't want to rush it, i "assumed" i knew the gist of it and i was just going to leave it as is but i kept going at it and i am so freaking glad i finished this book! because its so much more than what it gives you upfront. 

(the whole giving up thing was all on me and the time constrict vs the book. it had nothing to do with the writing. the writing and the story was amazing!) 

M A N. 
to say the least bit, this book gives it all to you all upfront. you know what happens, who did what and the why. and you think well, what else can come of it? let me tell you, knowing upfront doesn't mean anything because Swanson does such a good job tying up all nicely for you throughout the story.  and in the end, you think to yourself "well how the fuck did i miss that!?"

the ending. 
THE ENDING!!!!!
i cant! 

so. 
fucking 
good. 

ahhh! 
this guy is good. im reading all his stuff. i think there's only one other book (theres 3 and i own 2!) i gotta catch up on but if ya look back, i was a fan of his first read as well and i think its a bit of a theme for him but even if they are similar in subject, he does such a good job with this story as its own individual. 

i wasn't a fan of Hen and i think it was mostly her name cause i kept thinking of chickens (LMAO) but that's just me being weird. 
there was never a moment where i found the story lacking. 
besides me being dumb and wanting to give up because it was due, there was never a moment i wanted this story to end. 

maybe...maybe you can see where it unravels a bit, i missed it. erm, had i not read the ending first i definitely would have missed it. but i love the way that Hen & Matthew are more "alike" than they know. not in the same capacity but whoa. so good. 

just, this story was soo good. its been about a month since i read this book and I'm still thinking about how good it was! i get all excited when i see people diving in on it on instagram. 

i'll stop raving her but definitely read this book if ya want built up suspense! 

as always, spoilers after the jump! (but please note that i took forever to write them so some of it is out of order and there is still a lot i left out. but honestly, just read the book!) 

thanks!!!
#lesreads on IG