pages: 309
read: 4/8-10/19
rating: OMFG! all of the yes in the world!
book: 32 in 2019
"no, it would be a huge coincidence that we lived on the same street as the victim, then moved to the same street as the murderer." Lloyd
Catching a killer is dangerous—especially if he lives next door
From the hugely talented author of The Kind Worth Killing comes an exquisitely chilling tale of a young suburban wife with a history of psychological instability whose fears about her new neighbor could lead them both to murder . . .
Hen and her husband Lloyd have settled into a quiet life in a new house outside of Boston, Massachusetts. Hen (short for Henrietta) is an illustrator and works out of a studio nearby, and has found the right meds to control her bipolar disorder. Finally, she’s found some stability and peace.
Hen and her husband Lloyd have settled into a quiet life in a new house outside of Boston, Massachusetts. Hen (short for Henrietta) is an illustrator and works out of a studio nearby, and has found the right meds to control her bipolar disorder. Finally, she’s found some stability and peace.
But when they meet the neighbors next door, that calm begins to erode as she spots a familiar object displayed on the husband’s office shelf. The sports trophy looks exactly like one that went missing from the home of a young man who was killed two years ago. Hen knows because she’s long had a fascination with this unsolved murder—an obsession she doesn’t talk about anymore, but can’t fully shake either.
Could her neighbor, Matthew, be a killer? Or is this the beginning of another psychotic episode like the one she suffered back in college, when she became so consumed with proving a fellow student guilty that she ended up hurting a classmate?
The more Hen observes Matthew, the more she suspects he’s planning something truly terrifying. Yet no one will believe her. Then one night, when she comes face to face with Matthew in a dark parking lot, she realizes that he knows she’s been watching him, that she’s really on to him. And that this is the beginning of a horrifying nightmare she may not live to escape. . .
SHORT VERSION
YES YES YES!!!!!!!!
LONG VERSION
FUCK YES!
I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to go back to reading regular non-thriller books.
i mean....how?
agh! this one was sooooo good.
of all the books that i got from the library, I'm not sure why i thought this was the least one to give me trouble renewing. turns out there was a hold for it and so i had to sorta rush through it as best as possible.
as i was reading it, i kinda gave up and jumped to the last few chapters and i was like OH SHIT!
and because i didn't want to rush it, i "assumed" i knew the gist of it and i was just going to leave it as is but i kept going at it and i am so freaking glad i finished this book! because its so much more than what it gives you upfront.
(the whole giving up thing was all on me and the time constrict vs the book. it had nothing to do with the writing. the writing and the story was amazing!)
as i was reading it, i kinda gave up and jumped to the last few chapters and i was like OH SHIT!
and because i didn't want to rush it, i "assumed" i knew the gist of it and i was just going to leave it as is but i kept going at it and i am so freaking glad i finished this book! because its so much more than what it gives you upfront.
(the whole giving up thing was all on me and the time constrict vs the book. it had nothing to do with the writing. the writing and the story was amazing!)
M A N.
to say the least bit, this book gives it all to you all upfront. you know what happens, who did what and the why. and you think well, what else can come of it? let me tell you, knowing upfront doesn't mean anything because Swanson does such a good job tying up all nicely for you throughout the story. and in the end, you think to yourself "well how the fuck did i miss that!?"
the ending.
THE ENDING!!!!!
THE ENDING!!!!!
i cant!
so.
fucking
good.
good.
ahhh!
this guy is good. im reading all his stuff. i think there's only one other book (theres 3 and i own 2!) i gotta catch up on but if ya look back, i was a fan of his first read as well and i think its a bit of a theme for him but even if they are similar in subject, he does such a good job with this story as its own individual.
i wasn't a fan of Hen and i think it was mostly her name cause i kept thinking of chickens (LMAO) but that's just me being weird.
there was never a moment where i found the story lacking.
besides me being dumb and wanting to give up because it was due, there was never a moment i wanted this story to end.
maybe...maybe you can see where it unravels a bit, i missed it. erm, had i not read the ending first i definitely would have missed it. but i love the way that Hen & Matthew are more "alike" than they know. not in the same capacity but whoa. so good.
just, this story was soo good. its been about a month since i read this book and I'm still thinking about how good it was! i get all excited when i see people diving in on it on instagram.
i'll stop raving her but definitely read this book if ya want built up suspense!
as always, spoilers after the jump! (but please note that i took forever to write them so some of it is out of order and there is still a lot i left out. but honestly, just read the book!)
thanks!!!
thanks!!!
yes, Matthew was the one that killed Dustin Miller.
he killed Dustin because he raped Courtney and got away with it. and he knew that deep down Dustin was guilty of doing it, that he didn't feel guilty for doing it and that he would continue to rape as long as he lived.
Hen & Lloyd go to a block party since they were new to the neighborhood and made small talk and plans for dinner with Matthew and Mira.
they finally go over and before leaving, they get a tour of the house. the last place is Matt's office. Hen is looking around when suddenly she comes across a fencing trophy that she knows used to belong to Dustin.
back when the murder happened, she was OBSESSED with it. she read every article and knew all of the available details. she also knew that his killer was never caught.
she freaks out, Matt notices, they leave. back home Hen tells Lloyd but he doesn't really believe her. she's been known to get paranoid and has it on file with the police that she's really not a reliable source. she's been diagnosed as being bipolar.
she calls the cops, they say they'll look into it and they do but nothing happens.
Matt knows she knows. she knows Matt knows she knows.
we all know she knows, he knows, they know!
we all know she knows, he knows, they know!
at work, Matt has a coworker Michelle who is in a relationship with Scott who is of course cheating on her. Matt takes it upon himself to follow Scott and sure enough, he is cheating on her. he haaates him for it.
and who was there to see Matt follow Scott? HEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and who was there to see Matt follow Scott? HEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
for Columbus day, Michelle is at her parents, Lloyd is in idk where at Robs annual bonfire, Hen stays home and Mira & Matt go to an inn who knows where to get away.
Hen had been obsessed with Scott's band so she knew they were having a show a couple of towns over.
Matt knew too.
at dinner he is getting Mira drunk to the point of no return and once she's out, he drives to the show.
he waits by the river and once everything is over and everyone is gone, he goes to Scott's car and punctures one of his tires. as the woman Scott was with goes inside to ask for help, Matthew strikes and kills Scott.
Hen sees everything and even makes eye contact with Matt.
she calls 911 and ID's him but....
Matt goes back to the hotel, they go home the next day and then he gets interrogated once he arrives because Hen ID's him.
he comes back home from the station and him and Mira get a protection order on Hen.
Mira then remembers how she met Matt.
she had been with Jay who was abusive to her. and she knew that Matt could hear all the mistreatment that jay would cause her. especially because they were neighbors.
when jay was on a trip, she invited Matt over and they talked and talked and talked but she asked him to pretend they didn't know each other once jay was back.
few weeks later, jay was dead.
he died of carbon monoxide in his car.
and Mira knew deep down inside that it was Matt but she brushed it off.
she gives the cops her statement swearing up and down that Matt was with her that night but deep down, she knows.
(actually all the Jay stuff comes later but meh, its all the same.)
anyway, they serve hen the protective order and shes all fuck y'all but leaves to her studio and then Matt shows up and shes all WTF!!!!
he admits to the murders then and there. and he tells her he wants to talk but she ain't having it so she kicks him out.
she thinks about it and decides to meet him at a bar some towns over.
there he admits to the killings and he tells her about why he killed each one.
essentially, hes a "vigilante" but shes trying to get him to understand that he really isn't.
that's where he tells her about Michelle (scotts ex. and tbh, for as anal with information as Hen was, I'm surprised she let this name slip) and his brother Richard. and how he has this fantasy to kill women. he hasn't acted on it yet but its getting close.
he also tells her then and then that Lloyd is cheating on her.
she is stunned because she never thought it was possible.
she goes home, goes through Lloyd's emails and finds an exchange between him and Joanna (Rob's (his best fucking friend!) ex girlfriend). she then remembers that when the whole Matt killed Scott thing was going down, he was supposed to be at Rob's bonfire. and she remembers that she doesn't remember him smelling of smoke. ....and anyone who's ever been to a bonfire knows that smoke smells sticks around FOREVER!
so she decides to call Rob under the guise that she needs pictures of the bonfire for her illustrations (shes a kid's book illustrator) and then she tells him that she's sorry she didn't go and Rob confirms that he missed them both but there's always next year.
motherfuckin' Lloyd is cheating on hen.
has been for a year.
AND IT TOOK A FREAKING KILLER FOR HER TO FIND OUT!!!!!!!
some shit happens here (i kinda went out of order so I'm trying to get back on track)
Matthew comes home from work and then walks toward hen who was on her porch, they're talking about well, everything and then Lloyd arrives home and hes all WTF?
Matt leaves and Lloyd's all " wtf is he doing here?" and homegirl's all like "you're having an affair with Joanna."
💣
Matthew goes into his office and he notices an envelope on his mantel from Richard, his brother.
he's freaking the fuck out.
he opens it and its Michelle's keys.
he'd all fuuuuuuuuhhhhhh. what did he dooooo!!!?
he goes to Michelle's and then he sees what Richard did.
(he killed her)
(I'm lost all again because I'm too excited to write this all down that I'm all jumbled but its all the same story!)
at this point Mira is out of town for work.
she's already sorta figured out that Matthew is a killer so she decides to go home and surprise him.
(okay! so I'm out of order because its alternates characters between chapters so I'm going back and forth while going into the past and future.)
(NEVER TAKE FOREVER TO WRITE SPOILERS CAUSE AUGH!!!!!)
.....and because i took tooooo long, ima just jump into it.
Hen confronts Lloyd about his affair and tells him that she wants him to leave. the next day, she leaves to work and Matthew coming from i can't remember where, notices that someones been in his house, he looks around and in i think Mirna's office, he notices that's where shit is off and Lloyd jumps at him out of nowhere.
they fight.
Matthew ends up killing Lloyd. (this one was in self defense)
he goes to the hardware store to buy some shit. he comes back and tapes Lloyd up. from head to toe.
Mirna gets home from an out of town meeting she went to and sees the house is a mess....she goes into her office and she sees the body all taped up.
while Mirna is there, Matt goes to Hen's studio. except, it should be obvious (in the story anyway, I've done a shitty job) that Matt is Richard, his brother.
some lady lets him in even though she hesitates and he creeps up on her. as Richard.
all in all, Hen manages to get Richard to let Matthew "out" and he tells her he's tired of running, or hiding and pretending and that she should escape and get the cops while she still can.
she does.
the cops get him.
they finally figure it out that a) Hen was telling the truth and b) that he has multiple personality disorder (schizophrenia?).
Hen leaves back home for Lloyd's memorial.
she comes back home and notices that Mirna has places the house for sale.
yes, this was great.
BUT!!!!!!
the reason this ends so fucking great is!:
Hen is an artist.
she was at the bar by Dustin's apartment years ago.
he notices her drawing and asks her to draw him.
he suggests back at his place and she is all for it.
they go to his place, she does the drawing and then realizes that she made a mistake and that Dustin is a predator. she asks to go to the bathroom to find an escape but there is none.
she comes out, he goes in but tells her not to leave but she manages to get out.
he goes after her but by then, she's in the hallway and she tells him that if he tries anything, she'll yell. so he has no choice to let her go.
she knows Matthew was the killer because he had his trophy.
the same trophy that she drew the night that he tried to rape her.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
i did a shitty job of explaining it but do yaself a favor and read this book!
Hen had been obsessed with Scott's band so she knew they were having a show a couple of towns over.
Matt knew too.
at dinner he is getting Mira drunk to the point of no return and once she's out, he drives to the show.
he waits by the river and once everything is over and everyone is gone, he goes to Scott's car and punctures one of his tires. as the woman Scott was with goes inside to ask for help, Matthew strikes and kills Scott.
Hen sees everything and even makes eye contact with Matt.
she calls 911 and ID's him but....
Matt goes back to the hotel, they go home the next day and then he gets interrogated once he arrives because Hen ID's him.
he comes back home from the station and him and Mira get a protection order on Hen.
Mira then remembers how she met Matt.
she had been with Jay who was abusive to her. and she knew that Matt could hear all the mistreatment that jay would cause her. especially because they were neighbors.
when jay was on a trip, she invited Matt over and they talked and talked and talked but she asked him to pretend they didn't know each other once jay was back.
few weeks later, jay was dead.
he died of carbon monoxide in his car.
and Mira knew deep down inside that it was Matt but she brushed it off.
she gives the cops her statement swearing up and down that Matt was with her that night but deep down, she knows.
(actually all the Jay stuff comes later but meh, its all the same.)
anyway, they serve hen the protective order and shes all fuck y'all but leaves to her studio and then Matt shows up and shes all WTF!!!!
he admits to the murders then and there. and he tells her he wants to talk but she ain't having it so she kicks him out.
she thinks about it and decides to meet him at a bar some towns over.
there he admits to the killings and he tells her about why he killed each one.
essentially, hes a "vigilante" but shes trying to get him to understand that he really isn't.
that's where he tells her about Michelle (scotts ex. and tbh, for as anal with information as Hen was, I'm surprised she let this name slip) and his brother Richard. and how he has this fantasy to kill women. he hasn't acted on it yet but its getting close.
he also tells her then and then that Lloyd is cheating on her.
she is stunned because she never thought it was possible.
she goes home, goes through Lloyd's emails and finds an exchange between him and Joanna (Rob's (his best fucking friend!) ex girlfriend). she then remembers that when the whole Matt killed Scott thing was going down, he was supposed to be at Rob's bonfire. and she remembers that she doesn't remember him smelling of smoke. ....and anyone who's ever been to a bonfire knows that smoke smells sticks around FOREVER!
so she decides to call Rob under the guise that she needs pictures of the bonfire for her illustrations (shes a kid's book illustrator) and then she tells him that she's sorry she didn't go and Rob confirms that he missed them both but there's always next year.
motherfuckin' Lloyd is cheating on hen.
has been for a year.
AND IT TOOK A FREAKING KILLER FOR HER TO FIND OUT!!!!!!!
some shit happens here (i kinda went out of order so I'm trying to get back on track)
Matthew comes home from work and then walks toward hen who was on her porch, they're talking about well, everything and then Lloyd arrives home and hes all WTF?
Matt leaves and Lloyd's all " wtf is he doing here?" and homegirl's all like "you're having an affair with Joanna."
💣
Matthew goes into his office and he notices an envelope on his mantel from Richard, his brother.
he's freaking the fuck out.
he opens it and its Michelle's keys.
he'd all fuuuuuuuuhhhhhh. what did he dooooo!!!?
he goes to Michelle's and then he sees what Richard did.
(he killed her)
(I'm lost all again because I'm too excited to write this all down that I'm all jumbled but its all the same story!)
at this point Mira is out of town for work.
she's already sorta figured out that Matthew is a killer so she decides to go home and surprise him.
(okay! so I'm out of order because its alternates characters between chapters so I'm going back and forth while going into the past and future.)
(NEVER TAKE FOREVER TO WRITE SPOILERS CAUSE AUGH!!!!!)
.....and because i took tooooo long, ima just jump into it.
Hen confronts Lloyd about his affair and tells him that she wants him to leave. the next day, she leaves to work and Matthew coming from i can't remember where, notices that someones been in his house, he looks around and in i think Mirna's office, he notices that's where shit is off and Lloyd jumps at him out of nowhere.
they fight.
Matthew ends up killing Lloyd. (this one was in self defense)
he goes to the hardware store to buy some shit. he comes back and tapes Lloyd up. from head to toe.
Mirna gets home from an out of town meeting she went to and sees the house is a mess....she goes into her office and she sees the body all taped up.
while Mirna is there, Matt goes to Hen's studio. except, it should be obvious (in the story anyway, I've done a shitty job) that Matt is Richard, his brother.
some lady lets him in even though she hesitates and he creeps up on her. as Richard.
all in all, Hen manages to get Richard to let Matthew "out" and he tells her he's tired of running, or hiding and pretending and that she should escape and get the cops while she still can.
she does.
the cops get him.
they finally figure it out that a) Hen was telling the truth and b) that he has multiple personality disorder (schizophrenia?).
Hen leaves back home for Lloyd's memorial.
she comes back home and notices that Mirna has places the house for sale.
yes, this was great.
BUT!!!!!!
the reason this ends so fucking great is!:
Hen is an artist.
she was at the bar by Dustin's apartment years ago.
he notices her drawing and asks her to draw him.
he suggests back at his place and she is all for it.
they go to his place, she does the drawing and then realizes that she made a mistake and that Dustin is a predator. she asks to go to the bathroom to find an escape but there is none.
she comes out, he goes in but tells her not to leave but she manages to get out.
he goes after her but by then, she's in the hallway and she tells him that if he tries anything, she'll yell. so he has no choice to let her go.
she knows Matthew was the killer because he had his trophy.
the same trophy that she drew the night that he tried to rape her.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
i did a shitty job of explaining it but do yaself a favor and read this book!
Thank you so much for writing all the spoilers! Peter Swanson is one of my favorite writers but at 40% of the book I just couldn’t read if anymore and started to skim. Tired of skipping, I wanted to know what will happen next! Glad I found your article :)
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