bring me back // B.A. Paris

published: 2018

pages: 304

heard: 4/12-158/2019

rating: i think the epilogue was my favorite part. 

book: 33 in 2019

"If i truly loved Layla, i would have known her anywhere."

SYNOPSIS

She went missing. He moved on. A whole world of secrets remained―until now.

Finn and Layla are young, in love, and on vacation. They’re driving along the highway when Finn decides to stop at a service station to use the restroom. He hops out of the car, locks the doors behind him, and goes inside. When he returns Layla is gone―never to be seen again. That is the story Finn told to the police. But it is not the whole story.

Ten years later Finn is engaged to Layla’s sister, Ellen. Their shared grief over what happened to Layla drew them close and now they intend to remain together. Still, there’s something about Ellen that Finn has never fully understood. His heart wants to believe that she is the one for him...even though a sixth sense tells him not to trust her.

Then, not long before he and Ellen are to be married, Finn gets a phone call. Someone from his past has seen Layla―hiding in plain sight. There are other odd occurrences: Long-lost items from Layla’s past that keep turning up around Finn and Ellen’s house. Emails from strangers who seem to know too much. Secret messages, clues, warnings. If Layla is alive―and on Finn’s trail―what does she want? And how much does she know?

MY THOUGHTS

SHORT VERSION
i think the synopsis is off. he didn't not trust Ellen. he didn't start...well, i wont spoil here but yeah. Finn is a dick and the epilogue is my fave thing is this entire story

LONG VERSION

look, besides the whole bat shit crazy person deal, this is the perfect story on how one should learn to control their temper because, well, when ya don't, shit hits the fan. 

have you read this? 

did you see the twist? 

i (like always), cheated so i don't really know how well i would have caught on like all the people that didn't like it on goodreads did had i not. 

i think because of my previous read it was fresh in my mind that it was a possibility that i might have but had i not read that book i don't know that i would have? iduno. 

i didn't read this. i listened to it. (apparently its tradition with BAP books) and i think i enjoyed it because i listened to it. 

i don't know how it would've fared had i read it. 

personally, i liked it. well, i didn't LIIIIIIIKE it, like it. it's more like I'm not mad that i spent 8 hrs listening to it. it wasn't anything too crazy. the plot isn't something that you need to super invest yourself into. and those are my fave kind; when I'm actually working while listening to a book that doesn't require ALL of my attention. just enough to get it all.  

Finn & Layla are coming home from a trip and then she's missing. 

and of course there is waaaaay more to that BUT i guess what i should jump into is 

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET ENGAGED TO YOUR EX GIRLFRIENDS SISTER!?????????

no, not even. more like WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVEN DATE YOUR EXGF's SISTER!!!???

in what planet is that a good idea!? i mean, on my end, i would never do that! just, WHY!!!? 

that was a part of the story that i just could not get over. it makes the whole story so that's why, obvs. but i just mean in general as a life choice ya know. 

agh. 

Ellen. 

she just seemed tiny. 

like her role was played out as a tiny little thing. she wasn't really a thing. i mean she was there but i guess what I'm trying to say is....she really doesn't live up to her performance. she's just there. her "performance" is not memorable. its not outstanding. you forget her real quick. i mean, we need her. but you mostly forget she's there. 

its mostly all Finn. and Finn was suuuuch an asshole. 

saying that he gets what he deserves is a bit harsh because he didn't deserve someone else's mess just because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. but the ending suites him because this motherfucker really needed to control his anger. and ultimately its his actions that land him where he ends up. 

he has issues man. 

he should've been focused on taking care of that instead of worrying about Layla before, during and after her disappearance. that's what happens when you....well, i don't want to spoil it. 

and the neighbors....were they really necessary? 

they could have done without. there was no need for them really. they were just there to be there. i guess to create extra pages or whatever. 

anyway, i wont lie, i am happy i heard this book. i don't hate it like everyone else on GR seems too. its a free audio listen and you can't hate on that. and truuuust me....there's been audiobooks that I've wanted to give up on. was it a good story? yea. not like the super best and maybe it had potential to be extraordinarily better but its still not bad. 
I'm sure ill keep listening to all of Paris' books.

UPDATE BEFORE I EVEN POST THE POST: Okay. so. look, i can see why its not  a fave for a lot of people. BUT can we all get behind the idea that, had it had more UMPH, this story could have kicked ass!? the idea behind it is amazing! had it had more of a kick it could have been amazing. 

I'm choosing to like this story for what it was trying to be. the possibility is what makes me like this story...and Ive never had that happen before. the concept, the idea, that was great. the execution...well, i loved the epilogue. its not a bad story.  

spoilers down below!

thanks for reading! 

#lesreads on IG
 SPOILERS

let's get right to it. 

Ellen was really Layla. 

Ellen was killed by their father yeeeeeears ago. (but roughly around the time Layla met Finn in London. i think)

Finn sees Layla on new years eve somewhere in London and to cut shit short, he falls in love with her. they date for a bit. she decides to move on. they get back together, she loses her virginity to him.....and then she goes on a girls weekend getaway trip. she sleeps with someone else and she tells him when he picks her up. 

he has a massive rage problem. 

so he gets suuuuuper angry about it. 

they're at the rest stop, he gets out of the car, gets her out and shakes her pretty hard. 

realizing what he is about to do, he puts her down, walks away and goes to the bathroom to control himself and when he gets back she's gone. 

12 years later hes basically bangin' Ellen. she lives with him and at some point, there's possible marriage involved. 

out of nowhere, they start finding these little Russian dolls. all in all, it was the just the same as the Russian doll Ellen had when they were kids. Layla had stolen it and she was now returning it 12 years later. 
i believe Ellen finds 2 and Finn finds about 6 of them. 

so through out the story, Layla keeps emailing Finn and leaving the dolls and telling him that she is still alive and all of Finn's feelings for Ellen are falling to the side now that there is a possibility that Layla is back. 

Finn keeps pushing for a meeting but Layla says no. 
and eventually she gets fed up with it and sends him a 10 day ultimatum; get rid of Layla or ill disappear forever!! (basically, kill the bitch) 

SO 

the final day happens. 
Finn gets an email to go idk where to meet her and he goes. he had literally just made love to Ellen thinking she was Layla and now here he is leaving her to go find missing homegirl. 
its a 3 hrs drive and he realizes once he arrives that he was duped. (duped i feel like would be more fun if it were spelled dooped. lol. it doesn't sound right but it looks right.) he drives back 3 more hours to get home and he realizes that Ellen is missing. 

he calls Harry (his bfffffff and basically his savior always getting him out of trouble) to no avail. (after Layla, Finn dated Ruby on and off but walked out on her for Ellen.) he finally calls him back and Finn tells him everything (Harry & Ruby started dating i guess and are in the Bahamas or some shit and they didn't tell Finn because basically of his temper). Harry and Ruby are all 'WELL BE THERE SOOON!" then Harry calls Tony (the detective he worked with since the beginning of time..well the time that Layla went missing anyway) and tells him EVERYTHING. well i think he left out a few things.

he goes to sleep and then wakes up like 45 hrs later to all 3 of them in the house. 
they've talked shit over and they believe that Ellen is actually Layla. they cracked the code. 
Finn is all noooooo and they discover clues. 
he goes to her computer to search for more stuff and he finds out where Layla could have taken Ellen (he's still in denial about Ellen being Layla). he gets harry to drive him to the airport, he flies to idk where, takes a train a bus, a horse ride, EVERYTHING! and finally makes it to where Ellen and Layla could have possibly lived (because of course he never knew). he gets there, it looks a mess so he think its empty. but then Peggy comes running at him (Peggy is his pug that he got after Layla first left him before she slept with someone else) and he goes inside and he sees Ellen and they get into an argument. she keeps telling him that Layla is basically in her mind and is real but that he needs to help her get her out but of course he's still in denial so his anger rises. she gets scared runs outside and he goes after her. 
i believe he accidentally killed her (but i could be wrong 100%). they're standing by some rocks or whatever and once again, his anger takes over. i forgot-ish what happens around here but basically, she slips and hits her head on something and he knows she's dead. or dying. the last thing she tells him is that she is Layla. 

AND THAT'S WHEN HE CHOOSES TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE POSSIBILITY THAT MAYBE ELLEN WAS LAYLA THE ENTIRE DAMN TIME. 

motherfucker. 

so he's all fuck, he puts her in the car even though its hella late to do anything. he cant call for emergency services cause there is no service where she lives. 

so he's driving out and BOOM! 
he starts getting phone calls, voice mails, emails, text messages, fucking owl messages, everything. you name it, he got it. 
harry finally gets through and tells him that he needs to read the email he sent him. 
they found an email or letter or some shit and its Layla spilling her guts out about eeeeverything! 

she disappeared cause she thought he was going to fuuuuuck her up when they had pulled over. 

she jumped into a car when a woman nearly ran her over. 

she opened the passenger side and jumped in (who the fuck drives in a wooded area in the dark without locking the car!? especially a woman!) and because there was a truck or whatever behind them, she had no choice but to drive off. 

she ended up driving her 2 rest stops away. 

she had noooothing on her but the cottage keys. 

she went to a gas station and hid in a caravan, she passed out and they took off. she got to England on her own hiding in that caravan. 

blah blah blah

she finally tells how Ellen has been dead all along. 
Finn never knew Ellen. 
he's only known Layla's version of her. 

when they were 16/15, their mother passed away and they lived with their father. 
he was a very violent man. 
he tolerated Ellen but hated Layla. 
their father killed Ellen. 

when their mother passed away, it fucked Layla up so hard that she started taking over her mom's personality. they would both share Layla's brain. it pissed their father off and Ellen would ask her to only do it when their father wasn't around but of course, she couldn't help it. 

one night, there wasn't any creamer or milk for their dad's tea and he cussed out Ellen like never before (and member, she's the fave!) and without thinking about it, Layla started cussing him out in her mothers voice (even though her mother would never!) and it slipped out that they were leaving him. 
he got mad at Layla and went after her beating her up. 
as he was beating her on the floor, Ellen came around and hit him with a shovel. 

he falls but even as weak as he is, he still over powers Ellen, he beats her with the shovel, breaks her skull and beats her until shes just a pulp. 

he takes the body and dumps her in a bog (a wetland). 

he comes back and tells Layla to go to bed or he's gunna fuck her up too. 

because she's schizophrenic (i think not suuure!) she just thinks that Ellen is away. day by day, she just takes it slow thinking that. shes just a robot. 

she finally leaves one night when her father is drunk as a skunk. 

she lands in London and that's when she meets Finn. 

blah blah blah

the fight....she goes back to her house in who knows where with her father. 

she arrives to see her father is still a live but he's a mess. 

he's blind and cant take care of himself. 

he kept calling Layla, Ellen. and because of her state, she adapted being Ellen. 

and that's how she became Ellen forever. 

then she sets this whole plan in motion to win Finn as Ellen because she realized she fucked up letting him go. 

in the end, Finn is arrested and kept in solitude under suicide watch. 

Harry was going to try to get him out but Finn refused. 

he doesn't want to be let off. 

and das it. 

i mean there is a whole lot i left out but i kinda just wanna move on! 

ahhh!

but if you want to know the all of it, read chapter 57.