barbara the slut and other people // lauren holmes

published: 2015
pages: 262
isbn: 978-1-59463-378-2
read from: 5/22/2016 - didn't finish
rating: 1) hate it 2) like it 3) LOVE IT

SYNOPSIS ((amazon))
In “Desert Hearts,” a woman takes a job selling sex toys in San Francisco rather than embark on the law career she pursued only for the sake of her father. In “Pearl and the Swiss Guy Fall in Love,” a woman realizes she much prefers the company of her pit bull—and herself—to the neurotic foreign fling who won’t decamp from her apartment. In “How Am I Supposed to Talk to You?” a daughter hauls a suitcase of lingerie to Mexico for her flighty, estranged mother to resell there, wondering whether her personal mission—to come out—is worth the same effort. And in “Barbara the Slut,” a young woman with an autistic brother, a Princeton acceptance letter, and a love of sex navigates her high school’s toxic, slut-shaming culture with open eyes.

uhm there's really nothing to spoil mostly cause i didn't bother to finish it. but from what i did read....

shes visits her mom in Mexico and the deal is that shes gay and afraid to tell her mom. 
her mom who sells VS undies for a profit even though she runs a hotel and doesn't talk to her wealthy parents. 
she tells her mom and leaves to another part of Mexico to go with her grandpa.

he slept with Beth and found out that he just wanted to be friends. so they are. then he moves to NYC and well, i didn't finish that story.

she is a smart slut going to Princeton. 
she sleeps around but she ONLY sleeps with them once and that's it. til she likes a guy but then another guy kills it for her when he says they slept together (even though they didn't) and everyone, even her special ed brother, calls her a slut. she finally wises up and so yea. 
her brother was about the best part of that story. 

she meets this Swiss fool at a bar and then she falls in love in 4 days. then he sorta moves in and she realizes that she'd rather just live with her pit bull Pearl than date any men out there. 

she gets a job at a sex toys store and pretends to be a lesbian to keep her job. she ends up with a chick and going out with her but shes engaged or whatever the fuck with her dude so yea. 
her boss finds out that shes not gay and so she fires her. which i mean, dumb broad, you're a fucking lawyer!!!! you could sue her ass for that! you cant fire someone JUST because they aren't gay. and then they rescue a dog from the pound. 
what the fuck. 

(just thoughts on the book itself)

you would think that i would have know this book was based on several stories and that i wouldn't like it (just like this one) based on the title but nooooo i didn't pay attention past slut. so you know...gotta learn the hard way. 

i started the book with the first story and even though it was only 24 pages long, it took me about a week to try to finish it. then i started the second story and it wasn't til i didn't really understand what the heck was going on that i realized it was a "stories" book. i didn't finish that story. i read other stories in a scattered order (i read 5/10 stories) but i was in no way pulled to finish it. 

I'm not bashing the book but its not my cup of tea. 
have you read it? what was your experience with it? 

thanks for reading!
#lesreads on IG

go ask alice anonymous // beatrice sparks

its a movie!? 
i didnt want to post a picture of the book because i spook easily and its kinda creepy to me.  

published: 1971
pages: 214
isbn: 978-1-4169-1463-1
read from: 5/22-23/2016
rating: 1) hate it 2) liked it 3) LOVED IT
(but im would have been 1000% okay with not reading it. goldfish brain dont fail me now) 

SYNOPSIS ((amazon))

January 24th
After you've had it, there isn't even life without drugs....

It started when she was served a soft drink laced with LSD in a dangerous party game. Within months, she was hooked, trapped in a downward spiral that took her from her comfortable home and loving family to the mean streets of an unforgiving city. It was a journey that would rob her of her innocence, her youth -- and ultimately her life.
Read her diary.
Enter her world.
You will never forget her.

i mean. she does drugs, gets addicted and dies. its all in the synopsis so i can't really spoil anything. 

uhm but i guess i can add that she runs away and comes back to do it all again and then ultimately dies. we don't know how really. it was an overdose but we don't really know how or why it happened. where were her brother and sister at? 


(just thoughts on the book itself)

for some reason this book started presenting itself to me in a lot of different places. then i went to the library and while randomly walking around, it jumped at me so i started reading it on the floor. then i walked the long way home and i read a huge bulk of it then. 

at first, well it wasn't until i was almost half way done when she talks to a chick named Alice that i realized i didn't know homegirls name. that would explain the anonymous after go ask Alice. don't laugh, but i thought anonymous was what the author was choosing to be named until i googled it. 

tell me if you know, but I'm not sure if this is based on a real story or not. in the copyright page it says that its fiction but then you turn the page and it says that its based on a real 15 year olds diary. whether you believe it to be true or not, i will tell you this, this book scared the shit out of me. 
while i have already sworn to NEVER do any type of drug, real or not, this book scared the shit out of me. 
are you kidding me!? 

I've ALWAYS been anti drugs. even weed (for just myself. you do what you want, i support your decisions. cause they are yours!) i get so paranoid its stupid, so i cant even imagine doing the actual hard stuff. but then i read this and I'm thinking "okay maybe it could be far off but still, you never know." and then her last trip on acid when she didn't even know she had done it, HOLY SHIT! 

i liked the book and it was a fairly good/fast read. even if this was just written to scare the crap out of little kids into not doing drugs, it scared this 28 year old even more. 
and no, i don't know what side effects each drug has or even mostly how you use them. so when i read comments about people saying that maybe when they were kids they fell for it but now as adults they see the flaws, no i didn't even register the wrong details in each individual use. maybe its that i never read it as a teen. but no matter what, i know it just scared me into for sure NEVER doing any type of drug. 
i think the one other thing that i did take away from this book is that you should always speak up. in most of the book her main struggle was that she could never speak to anyone about it. and it makes you think about just how different things might have gone. 
but also, a) did her parents ever find her diaries and read them? (apparently yes cause they were the ones that published them) b) why did she go off her shit 3 weeks after? what caused her to kill herself on purpose if it was on purpose and if it was on accident, why was she messing around with stuff. or did somebody trip her. (like her first and last time.)

apparently there's a companion diary, Jay's Journal, and i saw a lot more on amazon, but i wont be reading those. jays is about drugs and shit and satanism and thats something i DEFINITELY do not need/want to read 

have you read go ask alice? 
what did ya think? 

#lesreads on IG

random snaps

remember when i used to do these? 
it was only a yearly goal (that i did complete) and then i just, was over it. 
i recently got a new phone and even though i now have expandable memory again, i kinda wanted to do a photo dump and clear them out of here i am. 
that and FINALLY a beautiful mess released a color story for android. never have i bought an app so freaking fast. 
and honestly, I'm in love with how GOOD it works. 
its crazy to see the before! from super dark to crispy clear!!!!
about 1000000 pictures of my dogs. but mostly chonch. i can just hold a tennis ball in front of my phone and i can take a trillion pictures. chester is just a taaaad bit harder to snap but when i do, all of the heart eye emojis!!! 
fitbit goal day 2016!!!! (sat 5/21)
i was up at 8 because i had a dentist apt at 9 (who does that!?) so i was up and walking around waiting for my nails to dry cause i had an interview later and i didn't want my nails to be all busted looking. (that interview was busted as heck) this was at 845. haha. my sister was mad that i was taking forever to get ready for the dentist. got there 2 mins late and i had to wait cause HE was late. -_- 
I've had an empty space next to my bed where my window USED to be. one random day i rolled over and all of the bells went off in my head. so i made a chalk calendar. i just used thin washi tape to make the lines and i did not care one bit to make them even or straight. i love not being a perfectionist. 
i have shitty lighting in my room so my brother bought me those hanging lights and since i couldn't hang them from the ceiling, i bought ikea shelf holders and ta-da!
my sister and i! 
i LOVED her purple hair. 
she dyed it some stupid ass lavender with some grey. then she bought this color corrector thing or whatever dafuq and it was supposed to make it blond (the color had already faded) but it made it some sort of green. idk it was weird but it was actually pretty cool. then she FINALLY bought the manic panic purple and this was the color she got. and i absolutely LOOOOOVED it. (looked better in person)
of course leave it to my her to finally say fuck it and dye it black when she finally gets a good color going. i was so mad at her too cause she could have had dope hair for edc. but noooo
i still love her with plain black hair i guess. 
Saturday i had that busted ass interview. don't tell me you need customer service and then tell me i don't have enough when I've had only about 12 freaking years of experience. anyways, afterward, i went to B's house. we had costco pizza and i snapped this waiting for him to grab it. after we stuffed our faces (the whole fam), i took the two little babes that were over and we all went along for a walk. seeing his goddaughter go absolutely ape shit happy about walking was about only the best thing in the world ever. she'd randomly squeal in delight when she realized she was free to run free and it was the cutest thing ever. i love those little kids with all my heart. 
dreams came true when i finally got to see Bob's burgers live. 
i loved it and I'm happy that i got to check it off my list. but also, if I'm being honest, i don't think ill be doing it again. i got lucky that it was the 100th episode! but for the price those two damn tickets cost me, while it was fun, money wise it did not make sense. and those freaking seats! might as well have just sat on each other's lap. 
then, for the next week, they had an art gallery showing a bunch of Bob's pieces. the very first one is my absolute favorite. and it was only $4,000. they were about as tall as me and trust me, if i had f*ck you money, they would have DEFINITELY gone home with me.  

the left over pieces from b's sisters bday party diys that i made
freaking kids tore into them. 
got that mirror in ikea on sale and it was only about the best purchase ever!!!!!
i love all of the color!
took my momma to the flower fields in Carlsbad CA. she was in heaven and it was ridiculously nice to spend the entire day with her. just us two <3
a random selfie! 
i used to have really thin (read super fucked up) eyebrows. then i went thru a phase where i looked like chewbacca trying to grow them out. then this lady shaped em soooo beautifully but still left them thick and i LOVED them. that was years ago. then a few months, i got them threaded at some other place and the lady left me completely bald. it was the weirdest thing ever and i hated it. 
I'm used to them now. but, ya know, be careful whatcha wish for.

hopefully i take time to do this more often cause i do love sharing my random ass pictures. 

have a great week ahead! 
love ya!

the summer games: settling the score // r. s grey.

published: 2016 
pages: 425 (ebook)
isbn#: 1530771625 (at least that's what it says on amazon) 
read from: 5/17-18/2016
stars: 1) hate it 2) liked it 3) LOVED IT

SYNOPSIS ((amazon))
As an Olympic rookie, Andie Foster has spent far more time in her cleats than between the sheets. For 21 years, her Friday nights have consisted of blocking shots rather than taking them. But now that she's landed in Rio, she's ready to see for herself if the rumors about the Olympic Village are true:

  • The athletes are all sex-crazed maniacs... 
  • The committee passes out condoms like candy... 
  • The games continue long after the medals have been handed out... 
As Andie walks the line between rumor and reality, she's forced into the path of Frederick Archibald, a decorated Olympic swimmer and owner of a sexy British accent--too bad he's unavailable in a way that "it's complicated" doesn't even begin to explain.

In other words: off limits.

It doesn't matter that he has abs that could bring peace to the Middle East and a smile that makes even the Queen blush; Andie fully intends on keeping her focus on the soccer field. But the Village is small. Suffocating. Everywhere Andie goes, Freddie happens to be there--shirtless, wet from the pool, and determined to show her a whole new meaning of the phrase "international affairs".



basically (have you noticed i start everything with basically!? sorry guys!), Andie is in Rio to compete in the Olympics. She catches a glimpse of Freddie (hate that fucking name) and shes all woah. only to run into him later on at a party and start from there. 

Fred (cause i hate Freddie) is in town as well to compete in swimming. 
they meet at a party he basically falls in love and then they go all over Rio messing around. sorta. 

all is well and great til she finds out hes actually betrothed to some chick in London names Caroline. she was actually supposed to marry his brother Henry and Henry was supposed to take over all the family duties. then, Henry passed away and it fell on Fred. 
he told his mom no and blew it off but was reluctantly i guess willing to go with it sorta low key (meaning he was putting it off as long as possible by not giving a crap). ...til he met Andie. 

anyways, they meet up, they say yes, they say no, he finally mans up about telling Caroline no and then shit hits the fan. 

Caroline of course agrees to end their "engagement" since they are not in love but she suggests that they keep on pretending to be together just to help him out while he's about to finish his stunt in the Olympics. 

but you all know that a woman scorned isn't a woman to trust. 
she goes bat shit crazy threatening Andie that if she doesn't back up she will ruin her career...and then of course she does. tries. 

she releases a very  "graphic" picture of them at the club and of course Andie becomes the "media whore."
("Gene, what did i tell you about finger quotes?" -Bob "Not to "use" them." -Gene. 

a) let that show you that my bobs burgers game is hella strong and EVERYTHING in my life, i can relate to a BB moment and that b) i just said all that cause i noticed I'm " " basically everything in this post. i need a life!) 

anyyyways,  so there. she outed them. you'd think "oh well, they can now be together of course." 
eeeer, wrong (you know that noise. i have no idea how you type it out.) 

Andie is a slut bag basically but Caroline is the woman of the year and everyone is on her side, so she "forgives" Fred and decides the wedding is still on. he says nah and shes all like "when will you get it through your head that the more you fuck with me, the more i fuck with Andie?" and that's when she drops another bomb on him. 


or well, as we all know in these kind of stories, shes really not but how can you prove it when you have a doctors note!? 

long story short, she lied about being pregnant, she gets outed (the way she was caught was sooo funny and never in a million years work in real life). its in the media that she was never pregnant and black mailing Fred and Andie all cause she wanted to be Duchess of whatever dafuq. #golddigger

in the end of course Andie and Fred end up together. while their personal love lives took a shit most of the book, their professional life was great for them individually. 
and it all worked out in the end.  but seriously Andie? all at 21!!? 

the end. 


(just thoughts on the book itself)

"....never let someone make you ashamed of what you LOVE to read." 
-Rae Carson

(this has nothing to do with the book. its just that after reading the xxx stuff that it had and the cover, i honestly feel like, eeeesh. I'm glad i don't have the physical book because that cover is all sorts of cheesy. and its not that it was even that sexually graphic but i usually tend to get all shy about admitting that sometimes i read that stuff. not cause i seek it, just cause its there.)

this is everything 50 shades should have been without the promise of what 50 shades was supposed to be. but this wasn't as graphic so its more like 23 shades or something.
and i guess, i don't know, the main point of 50 shades wasn't a love story (although we all know how that turned out.) it was more of a grown up read.....and this one was a love story with grown up themes but not so, blah. (and I'm talking about the movie not the books. basically, just ignore me.) 

anyways, i bought this book because it was on sale for $.99 during the presale. i never say no to $.99 books. specially if i have read something of theirs before

i read it after i gave up on both the luckiest girl alive AND all the lights we cannot see. 
(i just couldn't get in to them at all.) 
overall, i liked the book because it did everything that a book of its essence was supposed to do. 
i was happy, i laughed, i cried, i was mad, i raged, i wanted to murder a character (several) for being soooo stupid and basically, it had me feeling all of the emotions ever!
for $.99 it wasn't bad and heck for the $2.99 it currently is, it still is a fun, quick read. 

this book does have several sexual subjects so i don't recommend this for reading such as book clubs where people can be shy about the subject. 
and definitely not with like your mom and stuff unless you guys are cool like that and all. 

this is a standalone and I'm freaking glad its not part of a series cause i somehow ALWAYS get those! but there is one other book before this and after that both follow something about the Olympics and Rio. if im being honest, i dont see myself reading those just cause...iduno. i might later on down the line but its not something that im going out of my way to read right now. 

but this book, if ya want to feel all of the emotions out there, i recommend. 
love, sex, drama! blaaah!

if you pick up the book, let me know what you think! 
thanks for reading. 

#lesreads on IG

the smell of other peoples houses // bonnie-sue hitchcock

published: 2016 // pages: 223
isbn: 978-0-553-49778-6
read from: 5/5-8/2016
stars: 3 loved it.

lets try something new....

you just have to LOVE the library. 
i went in to check out 3 books and of course they weren't there. they said it'd take about 4-6 weeks. 2 days later i get an email that 2 are in and when i get there, all 3 are ready to go. luckily, 2/3 are small ones that i can rip into pretty fast and the last one, all the lights we cannot see, i can take my time with if i need too. 

anyways!, this book!!!! this cover!!!!!
i think it was through another book blog that i came across it and the cover!! that's what made me fall in love with this book. i mean coooome on!!!!!!



In Alaska, 1970, being a teenager here isn’t like being a teenager anywhere else. This deeply moving and authentic debut is for fans of Rainbow Rowell, Louise Erdrich, Sherman Alexie, and Benjamin Alire Saenz. Intertwining stories of love, tragedy, wild luck, and salvation on the edge of America’s Last Frontier introduce a writer of rare talent.
Ruth has a secret that she can’t hide forever. Dora wonders if she can ever truly escape where she comes from, even when good luck strikes. Alyce is trying to reconcile her desire to dance, with the life she’s always known on her family’s fishing boat. Hank and his brothers decide it’s safer to run away than to stay home—until one of them ends up in terrible danger.
Four very different lives are about to become entangled. This unforgettable book is about people who try to save each other—and how sometimes, when they least expect it, they succeed. 



RUTH (& Lily....but mostly Ruth)
Ruth is i honestly forgot how old when her mom is pregnant with Lily. everything is fine, perfect family and whatnot until her father passes away in a plane crash. mom goes bazzerk, births lily and disappears.  
they both move in with Grama who is very anti showing love and so they grow up not knowing how to show affection. well no. i wouldn't call it that but it was a very hard place for them to grow up in (according to her) 
Ruth dates this dude Ray and they hook up and long story short she ends up pregnant. 
he ignores her, she gets shipped off to a monastery in Canada, gives the baby up for adoption and goes back home. and ends up dating Hank i believe. it doesn't necessarily say it out loud BUT for the sake of "I deserve a happy ending", they do. 

the sister, meh. nothing much i don't think. she's pretty cool though. 

HANK (and Jack and Sam) 
they basically run away from home because their father passed away and their mother is now dating some loser who i guess beats them. 
they stow away on a boat and Sam is all about the whales hoping to meet up with their father (who passed away on a boat accident)
so then he basically disappears from the boat while their brothers are looking for food. 
so Hank being the "man of the family" and the "realist" has accepted that his brother might be dead while Jack is still holding up hope. but as it ends up turning out, he is still alive. he was saved by....

Alyce lives in Alaska as well and her biggest deal is that she wants to be a ballerina but is about to miss the most important audition of her life because she has to go fishing with her father and shes too scared to say anything. 
that and she also saves Sam. she sees him fall off the boat. and so she saves him....and of course they also end up dating. 

Dora's parents are huge dicks. i think her dad used to bear her or maybe even raped her (or tried) and hes in jail. she wins this lot of money on a bet so her mom is all of a sudden around and when her dad's out hes all like you're giving me that money no matter what. 
there comes a point when she finally confronts him but luckily the cops make it just in time. her big deal is that she cant seem to find happiness. no. not even find it. she just doesn't want to let it in now because she knows how fleeting it can be. that and shes very protective of Dumpling (her best friend) 


MY RAMBLINGS (just thoughts on the book itself)

if you read the spoilers above, please know that yes, i gave you their basic spoilers BUT there is still a lot i left out. A LOT!
A LOT!!!!!!!!!! (like i always do!)

anyways, this book. man, i LOVED it! its on my to buy list if i see it for a really good price somewhere out there. (read: broke status)
i absolutely loved the writing in this book. 
there are several things that i feel were not answered however. 
for example, Ruth's mom, while we do eventually get a hold of her, we realized the condition shes in but never how she got there and never what happens after the confrontation. so.....I'd like to know what happens / happened there. (i mean i know what sent her over the edge but like....what the freak? i guess, read it to see what i mean.)
uhm....there's other stuff or at least one other thing that I'm completely blanking out on. 
but i think that speaks well of the book if I'm completely satisfied like that (in my personal opinion.) 
i think the one thing that left me hanging was my personal need to know what happens to everyone in the end. there is sort of a huge collective happy ending but it would have been nice to know individual stories but i think it speaks volumes of this book if it can have a collective ending that a) does it job as a whole but b) also does its job leaving you wanting more BUT acknowledging that it ends great without being an overkill. (thinking of this book)

ill leave you with some lines that i liked from the book. 

"Catholics are pretty good at keeping Jesus nailed to that cross, rather than focusing more on that happy bit where he rose from the dead and freed us from sin and evil." 
Ruth page 122

"ill never understand how certain things that happen to us can climb under our skin and make us some one new."
Hank page 168

"we don't have to be blood to be family."
-Ruth page 185

if you pick up the book, let me know what you think! 
thanks for reading. 

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