her every fear // peter swanson

published: 2017
pages: 297 (ebook) 
ISBN: 9780062427045
read: 8/20-24/2017 (although it was more like a day cause once i sat down, i couldnt put it down!) 
book: 27 of 29 for 2017

The danger isn’t all in your head . . .
Growing up, Kate Priddy was always a bit neurotic, experiencing momentary bouts of anxiety that exploded into full blown panic attacks after an ex-boyfriend kidnapped her and nearly ended her life. When Corbin Dell, a distant cousin in Boston, suggests the two temporarily swap apartments, Kate, an art student in London, agrees, hoping that time away in a new place will help her overcome the recent wreckage of her life.
But soon after her arrival at Corbin’s grand apartment on Beacon Hill, Kate makes a shocking discovery: his next-door neighbor, a young woman named Audrey Marshall, has been murdered. When the police question her about Corbin, a shaken Kate has few answers, and many questions of her own—curiosity that intensifies when she meets Alan Cherney, a handsome, quiet tenant who lives across the courtyard, in the apartment facing Audrey’s. Alan saw Corbin surreptitiously come and go from Audrey’s place, yet he’s denied knowing her. Then, Kate runs into a tearful man claiming to be the dead woman’s old boyfriend, who insists Corbin did the deed the night that he left for London.
When she reaches out to her cousin, he proclaims his innocence and calms her nerves . . . until she comes across disturbing objects hidden in the apartment—and accidentally learns that Corbin is not where he says he is. Could Corbin be a killer? And what about Alan? Kate finds herself drawn to this appealing man who seems so sincere, yet she isn’t sure. Jet lagged and emotionally unstable, her imagination full of dark images caused by the terror of her past, Kate can barely trust herself . . . So how could she take the chance on a stranger she’s just met?
Yet the danger Kate imagines isn’t nearly as twisted and deadly as what’s about to happen. When her every fear becomes very real.
And much, much closer than she thinks.

omgod this freaking boooookkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love the living crap out of this book!!!!

this is how i know I've been reading YA a little too long. because this book left me scared to sleep once i got into it and jumping all over the kitchen every time my dogs barked. 
the other day i was eating in the kitchen and i was in a particularly intriguing part when my dogs started barking. 
i jumped up SO high, i left my sandals and everything and ran to the living room ready to attack! (i think i was also scared because my back was to an open door lol!) 
seriously, once it got to the the "thriller" part of if, i had to stop reading it because i was scared all alone in my room.
but please note, I'm a huge chicken shit so don't take my commitment to its scariness too serious. 

T H I S   B O O K ! ! !

even if the ending was a little, meh, i still loved it because this freaking story had me glued! i couldn't wait to get deeper and deeper into the story. 
i really liked the multiple points of view that this is told in and honestly, it only kept getting better and better for me. 

and then the Henry chapter started (towards the end) and i was kinda over it because it was kind of like re-reading what i had already read BUT it gave me more insights into the other point of views. 
like, i saw how things happened from Corbin's & Kate's side but then to have his side just put it all together even more!

and JESUS!!!!!
poor Corbin. i mean, obviously he was a big fuck up too but damn. talk about not being able to live your life. and now, while he was caught for some of his things, he'll never be cleared of Rachael....(will spoil below). 

the whole entire time i had NO IDEA who had done it!
my mind kept going everywhere. 
at one point i thought it was the lady who owns the cat, Sanders! i thought maybe, because no one ever really saw her out, that she didn't really exist and the killer lived there pretending to be the old lady. 

I'm telling you! it was everywhere. 

you do find out who the killer is waaaaaaaay before the story is over and that might turn some people off but i was so hooked on the story that i didn't even care and it actually helped me focus more on the story vs trying to figure it out all along. 

i will say that Kate has some fucked up luck though. 
like how much shit can she really be going through. 
and her parents!!!!
after what she went through, how can her mother just be like..."yea it doesn't matter anyway cause you won't do it....(BITCH!)" like, giiiirl! that's yo' child. how are you just going to send her across the pond knowing that the sight of a leaf scares her half to death!? 

but also, seeing how afraid Kate was of basically everything, she wasn't really written that way. she knew there was a killer basically on the loose and in her immediate area but yet, she still remained. given her past, i would have fled the fuck out of there faster than my brain could have processed the thought!

anyway, i know this story might be a little far fetched but i loved it. 
absolutely looooooooved it! 
I'm definitely glad that i read it and i might even look into some more of his work!!!!

ill leave ya here. but jump on over if you want to read the spoilers!

thanks for reading. 

#lesreads on IG

tell the wolves i'm home // carol rifka brunt

published: 2012
pages: 368 (353 total reading because the rest is extra stuff) 
eISBN: 978-0-8129-9292-2
read: 8/12-17/2017
rating: SO GOOD! the feels!!!
book: 26 of 29 for 2017

...and i thought how many small good things in the world might be resting on the shoulders of something terrible. 
pg 233

1987. There’s only one person who has ever truly understood fourteen-year-old June Elbus, and that’s her uncle, the renowned painter Finn Weiss. Shy at school and distant from her older sister, June can only be herself in Finn’s company; he is her godfather, confidant, and best friend. So when he dies, far too young, of a mysterious illness her mother can barely speak about, June’s world is turned upside down. But Finn’s death brings a surprise acquaintance into June’s life—someone who will help her to heal, and to question what she thinks she knows about Finn, her family, and even her own heart.
At Finn’s funeral, June notices a strange man lingering just beyond the crowd. A few days later, she receives a package in the mail. Inside is a beautiful teapot she recognizes from Finn’s apartment, and a note from Toby, the stranger, asking for an opportunity to meet. As the two begin to spend time together, June realizes she’s not the only one who misses Finn, and if she can bring herself to trust this unexpected friend, he just might be the one she needs the most.

this book!!!

the beauty in everyone collectively reading the same book is the interpretation that everyone sees in it. 
and i can see why people liked this book and why they didn't. 
why they thought Greta was suuuuuch a bitch but others excused her. 
why they were mad at their mom and others forgave her (I'm in the middle on this one but actually, screw her). 

I'm trying to find the right words to convey how this book made me feel. 
I'm so glad that i picked it up. i feel like it did its job of getting me out of a funk (still not 100% recovered). i honestly believe i would have finished it like the very next day, except that for once, i had a busy Sunday. 

I'm glad that i read this because while it is from a "child's" point of view, its very mature. 
its not a love story, girl in school trying to find love kinda read. its a grown up read. 
(it reminded me very much of this book!) 
it deals with the subject of aids in the time of their appearance but it doesn't solely focus on that. for me it was more about June trying to find her place and what she means to people but also about 2 sisters that are trying to find their way back to each other. 
and their mom...oi vey. 
it's a perfect example on how children understand more than we give them credit for. 

I'm just so fucking glad that this wasn't a YA novel with dumb high school love and just dumb shit. (don't get me wrong, i love that stuff but maybe i need a break from that).

...but there were certain parts that i was kinda iffy about. 
well, just the one. and that's about June and Finn....and that's all I'll say because i don't want to spoil it out here. 
and her mom! UGH!!!!
what a B!......

ill leave you with some faves and then jump to the spoilers.

your brain and your heart decide what you were going to believe and that was that. whether you liked it or not." 
pg 9

Being a romantic  means you always see whats beautiful. whats good. you don't want to see the gritty truth of things. you believe everything will turn out right." 
pg 128

everyone needs to think they have secrets. 
pg 353
thanks for reading. 

#lesreads on IG

F My Life


published: 2009
pages: 93 (as an ebook. but realistically it was 83)
isbn 978-0345518767
read: 8/2-10/2017
book 25 of 29 for 2017

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don’t have a text messaging plan. I paid 25 cents to get fired.

Your girlfriend dumped you, your car broke down, your boss passed you up for the big promotion. Life’s not fair, but there is one sure-fire way to ease your pain–laughing at someone else who had an even worse day than you did. 

Enter the devastatingly funny world of F My Life, where calamity is comedy. Covering every disastrous pratfall in love, work, family-life, and more, F My Life proffers other people’s ruinous, real-life happenings to brighten your gloomiest day: someone getting dumped through a greeting card, ignored at their birthday party, or insulted by their own grandmother. Spanning everything from ironic twists of fate to down-right shameful moments, F My Life’s squirm-inducing stories are schadenfreude at its finest. So today, take solace in knowing that at least you’re not that guy. There now, don’t you feel better?

ahm, im in a funk
i don't want to read anything and what i start i hate, so i haven't bothered. 
and then i got an email and this book was for sale so i bit the bullet. 
...and i waited weeks. 

so i finally started it and it was actually pretty funny at some points. 

its split into several sections and they mostly had some gems in them. 
then they had some stupid ass ones that i was like, "REALLY!?" 
for example: Today, my boyfriend told me i smell like vegetables. FML. 
uhm no, that one was pretty stupid. 
i think the stupidest one. 

but overall, funny read. 
except, you can go on the website and read all the FML's for free. 
and it looks like they updated it so haaay! (and i'd link it but my job has blocked it lol! fmylife.com)

anyway, ill leave you with some i thought were highlarious. 

today i went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. when i got there, she noticed my new tongue piercing and asked why i would get that done. before i could reply, my cousin said, "so she can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." she's 9 years old. FML.

today in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking at the man using the urinal to his right, my six-year-old son turned to me and exclaimed, "Daddy that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" the whole bathroom heard. FML

today my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's disease and can't usually remember my name, had a sudden moment of clarity and asked my why i'm not married yet. FML

today i was reading the end of my book. i turned the page and saw, written at the top: "lauren kills paul in the end. you shouldn't have pissed me off." it was from my sister. 
we had a fight yesterday. FML

Today my best friend invited me to dinner at his house. when i went to the bathroom, i found my wife's wedding ring in a cup. she lost it a week ago. FML

thanks for reading. 
promise to start reading something more intriguing! 
#lesreads on IG

vacation time: cancun!!!!

Blvd. Kukulcan,Km 5,5 Lote 6-C, Zona Hotelera, 77500 CancĂșn, QROO, Mexico

its about to be 2 weeks ago that we went to Cancun on vacation (what the heck, time!) for B's bday so i thought I'd share some pictures. 

I'm super thankful to this guy for taking me along this trip because it was a blast but as much fun as it was, I'm glad that we're home. 
and planning for our next trip! 

ill just share some pictures and what they're about. since I'm  bunching them all together cause i didn't really take that many....
i didn't realize how basic i wanted to be until i had the chance to take the obligatory passport / boarding pass picture!

we flew out at midnight and arrived out there at 630 am. 
which means after it was all said and done, we were at the hotel by 730ish. maybe earlier. 
H U M I D  C I T Y ! ! ! !
holy crap super humid. 
because check in wasn't until 3 pm, we left our stuff upfront, and went to go have breakfast and mimosas and then walk on the beach and omg! soooo pretty!!!!
and then, the pool bar!!!!
and we lasted until about 12 because he wasn't having it. 
personally, i would've thrown on a bikini and stayed by the beach. but it was cool 
their version of a michelada. 
if you want a michelada out there (with clamato juice) they're called Ojo Rojo. 
look at that sand! how white! 
and that water!!!!
the dark part is all seaweed grass. 
i have a fear of water so i didn't touch it but the parts that were floating weren't weird or anything. 
even their seaweed is clean.
the view from our room. 
#719 (:
the hotel is pretty dope. we booked everything through Costco and it came out pretty well priced. 
the room was another story but whatever. overall it was nice. 
the first day, we landed, we ate, hung out, had breakfast, lunch AND dinner!!!! and then we called it an early night because we had our first excursion the morning after. we had them pick us up so we had to be in the lobby by 715 and since they're 2 hours ahead, i was all paranoid that we'd oversleep and miss our ride. 


a friend of mine from hs went to Cancun a few weeks before me so i saw her posting on ig all about Xplor and it looked like so much fun that i had to look into it (and bombard her with questions that she thankfully answered) 
guys!!!!!!! soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much fun! 
i booked us 2 excursions and this was my choice and by far the best. even he agrees. 
they picked us up. ALL the activities are included. they fed us and delivered us back to the hotel. 
i only took these pictures and few videos that i have no idea how to post. 
BUT i bought the picture package that I'm so glad she recommended and i listened to her about because those pictures are the best!
i'll probably post those in another post but I'm so glad i got the package! so many pictures!
we did the zip lining first because it gets super packed. 
there are 2 lines (one is more "aggressive" than the other ) and we did them both. the waiting is what takes forever, but once you get to your first zip line, there is little to no wait. everyone from there on out is at their own pace. 
and let me tell you, they make you work for your few seconds of flying in the air lol. 
in the photo above, you see how it twirls? well that picture was taken inside a xenote. 
the "twirls"? we had to walk all that to get to the next zip line. doesn't look like much but man, it adds up!!!! still soooo much fun!!!!!

we did the zip lining, drove the amphibian cars through the jungle, we did it all!!!! 
...except the hammock splash. that one was too packed. 
so we were done early ish, so we did the drive through the jungle again and it turns out that there are 2 different paths so im glad we did that one twice. 

we did the river and that was sooo much fun! they have the shorter / longer version for mostly every activity and for the river we did the long one. which I'm glad we did because we got stuck behind a larger group. 
I'M FUCKEN PETRIFIED OF WATER so i was thankful people were there. i think it's the quiet that freaks me out. but also the fact that i have no idea what's underneath me nor how deep it goes. 

everything was suuper fun EXCEPT the underground rafts
(i'm only cursing to express to you how much i hated it) 
basically, you get on a plastic raft and you propel yourself forward with your own damn hands. 
and you crash into everything. 
i think my hate for it stems from the fact that a) when we stopped to take a picture, we fell over (which the camera also caught. cant wait to see!) 
 and when i tried getting back on, my waterproof phone case thing got stuck between me and the raft and became unhooked causing my phone to sink straight to the bottom! 
LUCKILY we weren't in that deep. after freaking the fuck out for 10 seconds, i thought i saw my phone so i just dove and luckily i was able to grab it. love that damn case no water whatsoever. not then, not in the 4 days we were there. 
AND then, after i dropped my phone, the stupid hand thing you use to move forward also fell in. but I'd already used my 1 no-freak out about water card for my phone so i wasn't going to dive for that. 

SO FINALLY, i get back on and B's like screw this, ill just push you (mind you no life vest was provided for this activity....i mean he can swim so yea..) and he does. and then like 5 seconds later he's like oooh shit! it just got deeeep! so we had to hit a wall or whatever so he could jump on. 

and then of course he's recording me freak the hell out so I'm trying to maneuver us as best as i can. 
thankfully, another couple passes us so i didn't feel so alone. 
and then another couple passes us and for some reason their raft has a string hanging out the back so i grabbed it and let them pull us for a short bit. 
and then before i knew it that shit was over and i was glad to be out of there and never again in my life will I EVER do something like that. 

to sum it up: fuck that activity and I'm afraid of water because out of nowhere it can get deep and even though i can swim and it's probably all man made, who knows what the ef is  down there!

so yea. 
that was Xplor. 
other than that little fumble, this place was amazing and I'd hella go back if i ever get the chance. and next time, i'd probably do the night version BECAUSE OMG CAN YOU IMAGINE!!!!


Saturday we did Tulum + Xel-Ha.
B is all about history and everything that Tulum has to offer. 
this is what he wanted to do so i booked it and chose the package that had Xel-Ha cause, WATER!!!!

Tulum was fun and all but it was too fucking hot to stand around and listen to the history when truth be told; i can google it (yes i know its not the same) 
we also had access to the beach in Tulum and HOLY SHIT!!!!!
that the most beautiful freaking beach i have ever seen (i mean, compared to LA anyway) 
if i ever get married and he's okay with the beach, i don't care who goes and my dress will be a white bikini, THIS IS WHERE I WANT TO DO IT!
if there is one thing i want to remember forever from this trip, it's this beach. 
it was so beautiful.
fear of water or not, i got in that damn water! 
i had too!!! that view was stunning! 
i cant even!!!! I'm so thankful that i was able to be there! ill forever cherish that!

after Tulum, which we were at for 2 hours (not enough time at all!)  we went to Xel-Ha
that's another water park and basically all it is, is just a huuuuuuuuuuuge river where you swim and can go jumping off of so many feet off this cliff into the water. i mean there's other stuff but YOU GOTTA PAY FOR IT ALL!!!
the only damn thing included is drinks and food (actually pretty important) and the river and the jump. then... $$$$

when we got there the picture mabober thing was giving us issues so we took more time than we should have but we ended up buying tickets to get on a boat ride called Adrenalina.
(cant seem to find it on their website) 
basically , you get on a boat with like up to 20 other people and they take you out into the ocean....and then they throw your ass around in it. it was so much fun! 
we did spins and dives and my head got thrown about left and right and it was the best! 

as i review their website, apparently a lot of stuff is included in your admission, the thing is, YOU have to look for it yourself. 
no one is there to say go here or there. you're on your own. 
after Adrenalina, we did the lazy river, 
this place is soooo HUGE that we had to take a little trolley train to the beginning of the river. i mean, if you have the time, you can swim over there but what's the point ya know? 

the beginning is sooooo pretty. they give you a float, and you're just floating down the river. 
and its like this secret garden path with water and without flowers. lol 
that leads you to the jump and because we were out of time, we got out right there to head back after we jumped several times each. 

to get back to the entrance you can wait for the little trolley again or you can ride bikes through the forest. 
we did the bikes and it was the best! it was quiet. it was just us and it was super sweet and i just loved that we did that.

you can actually get free goggles and a snorkel tub thing so you can see and breath underwater (you get to keep the snorkel thing after wards since its not sanitary to reuse them.)
if ya ever go, i suggest you get them so you can see where you are. 
like, I'm glad i got them but i because I'm afraid of water i kinda also freaked out. 

but yea....that was our trip! 
it was sooo much fun and I'm glad that we did excursions because while the beach was nice and everything was included in the hotel, there's only so much you can do there ya know? 
and I'm glad that we're back home. 
i was ready to come back home! 
...but i'm ready for our next adventure. 
Arizona, here we come! AGAIN!
hanging out by the beach on hammocks!
ready for dinner on our last night! (:
which, after wards, we went straight to bed and passed out. at like 1030. no regrets!
iguana family!!
these guys are everywhere yet somehow this was the only time i saw them. 
night views <3
Saturday they had some free on the beach dj thing going on. lots of fun!
sunday was our other "free" day so we went to Mercado 28. we bought a bunch of souvenirs, ate seafood, had drinks and wasted too much money but it was a lot of fun! 
after mercado 28, we went to the beach and just hung out. 
we were talking to some random girl when i turned around and BOOM!!!
this rainbow came out of nowhere! 
its was BEAUTIFUL. 
this picture does it no justice whatsoever but i feel like that was Cancun saying goodbye to us. 
it was the best!!!! 
loved all of the palm trees
FINALLY flying back home!!!!

on the way out there, our flight was overbooked so they gave out upto $1000 in gift cards to take a flight the next day. (one lady herself got $1500!!!!!)
had i known that day 1 was going to be blah, i hella would have jumped on it. 
theres soooo much shit i want on amazon!!! :( 

BUT on the way back they "upgraded" us. 
sooooo we got to sit at the very front behind first class which just meant we had more leg room. which honestly, im thankful for cause dammmn those seats are sorta small. 

overall, i will miss that beach in Tulum and just being on vacation and away from reality. but mostly, ill miss all the people we met. 

all the people who worked there but specially those 2 waiters & waitress at the main dining room, the guys at the pool bar, they were soooo funny! and that awesome lady who gave me a high five for finally growing the guts to jump into the water. 

Cancun, you were a blast!
cant wait to be back!!!!
(....but i think we're going to cheat on you with Cabo real quick!) 

thanks for reading all that if you did! 
ill bring you something back from my next trip! ;)

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