published: 2015
pages: 210 (but 199 realistically) 
ISBN: 9780062348692
read: 11/15-24/2017
rating: 50/50. like yes but like eh
book: 30 of 29 for 2017. I AM DONE!

"he talked about the ocean between people. and how the whole point of everything is to find a shore worth swimming to." 
-Simon pg 19

Sixteen-year-old and not-so-openly gay Simon Spier prefers to save his drama for the school musical. But when an email falls into the wrong hands, his secret is at risk of being thrust into the spotlight. Now change-averse Simon has to find a way to step out of his comfort zone before he's pushed out—without alienating his friends, compromising himself, or fumbling a shot at happiness with the most confusing, adorable guy he's never met.

MY THOUGHTS
i wanted to blog about this the very minute that i was done with it but i told myself to give me some time because sometimes your emotions can change. 
and i wish i could say that that's what happened with this book but realistically, i still feel the same. 
like it was a cool read but i could have done without. 

this book was recommended to me and i bought it as an ebook a whiiiiiiile ago when it was on sale but it wasn't until we were taking off on our trip (post coming soon eventually) that i decided to give it a go. 
it was all good for me up until i found out who Blue was. 
its not that i didn't like Blue or the idea of Blue or what he was and what he meant to Simon, i just feel like the discovery took some of the fun of the story away. 
usually, I'm all for having a "life" after the plot has been given away and i desperately want to know what happens with them but in my honest opinion, had they solved everything beforehand with his blackmailer and his friends and then they would have revealed who blue was and then end scene, i think i would have loved it 1000 x's more. 

i do have to give it credit for this being more than just about Simon and Blue because there are other issues with him having to come out to his friends and family and he does have several issues with his friends that he realizes that he needs to work on (albeit, i wholeheartedly 100% think Leah is a bitch) that makes this book so much more than what it could have been had it all been just about finding out who Blue was. 

and so i guess all of this brings me to: 
HOW THE HELL ARE THEY MAKING THIS INTO A MOVIE!!!!????
for me, there isn't enough to make a movie of it. 
i did want to read this before the movie so i could watch it when it came out. 
but honestly, I'm going into it with super low expectations so hopefully it does for me what the book did not. 

anyway, so yea. 
been several days and i don't miss any of the characters and i still feel the same. 
thanks book but meh, no thanks. 

but there were a few hidden gems. 
here are some of my fave quotes.

"but I'm tired of coming out. all i ever do is come out. i try not to change, but i keep changing, in all these tiny ways...........and every freaking time, i have to reintroduce myself to the universe all over again." 
-Simon pg 41

"Bram was right: people are like houses with vast rooms and tiny windows. and maybe its a good thing, the way we never stop surprising each other." 
-Simon pg 193


spoilers below as always. 

thanks for reading! 
#lesreads on IG

published: 10/10/2017
pages: 286
ISBN: 9780525555360
read: 10/26-30/2017
rating: John Green, please NEVER stop writing! you are a genius!!!!
book: 29 of 29 for 2017. I AM DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i thought, lying there, that i might love him for the rest of my life. we did love each other--maybe we never said it, and maybe love was never something we were in, but it was something i felt. i loved him, and i thought, maybe i will never see him again, and I'll be stuck missing him, and isn't that so terrible. 

It’s quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you see.
Sixteen-year-old Aza never intended to pursue the mystery of fugitive billionaire Russell Pickett, but there’s a hundred-thousand-dollar reward at stake and her Best and Most Fearless Friend, Daisy, is eager to investigate. So together, they navigate the short distance and broad divides that separate them from Russell Pickett’s son, Davis.
   
Aza is trying. She is trying to be a good daughter, a good friend, a good student, and maybe even a good detective, while also living within the ever-tightening spiral of her own thoughts. 
 
In his long-awaited return, John Green, the acclaimed, award-winning author of Looking for Alaska and The Fault in Our Stars, shares Aza’s story with shattering, unflinching clarity in this brilliant novel of love, resilience, and the power of lifelong friendship.


MY THOUGHTS!
i don't even know where to start or what to say. 

John Green, you are a Genius. 
Please take your time with books but please, never stop writing. 

as you all know, I'm a fan of his work. i think I've read most of his books (proof here, here, here and here.) but i think this is by far his best book ever. 
i can't even begin to write about it without wanting you to read this all bundled up with a box of Kleenex next to you. 
it's true what they say; this story will make you cry. 

this is something else. 
this is John Green at his best. 
this is John Green making you fall in love all over again, introducing you to characters you want to love forever and making you cry at the end because damn can that man mess with your heart in the utter best way possible. 

i love this story for SO MANY reasons. 

i think it has to do with the fact that you think it will go one way, but it doesn't. you think it'll be about a certain couple but it isn't, that it will involve disaster in a bad way and while it does, it doesn't. 

i LOVED Aza. 
the way he wrote her. 
so flawed but still loved by Daisy (and obvs her mother). but also how she evolves in the end. how mental illness is just that, an illness. it doesn't define you forever if you treat it properly because there is always a way. 

I LOVED Daisy for being Daisy. for being Aza's friend when she wasn't getting a lot in return, for never faulting her for who she is even if there were a little moments of frustration here and there. for always being there through it all and mostly because she will always be there. 
they WILL always be there for each other. 
i love the friendship that they have. 
i love that this story is about friendship and the love that they have for each other without having to spell it out constantly. you know it's there. 
i love the honesty of this friendship. 
its not always the best. but it's real. 

i have to say that hands down my favorite part of the story (and the part that fucking broke me), is the end with Davis. 
i won't say what that is, but even her thought process about Love just fucking blew me away. 
it was like the extra closure that i needed to read. 

i can't even handle how good it was. 

also, that cover!!!! 
admittedly, i wasn't a fan of it at first. nothing about it drove me crazy. i did like the color though. and i had no idea why it was titled what it is (I'm pretty sure i could've googled it buuut i didn't) but after reading the story, it makes it that much more important that the cover and the title are what they are. 

i wont say more on here because ill spill my guts out in the spoilers but i definitely recommend that you read this book. 
take your time and love it. 
you won't regret it. 

and with that, this is my "final" book of 2017 and let me tell you, it did not let me down. 
hands down, my favorite read of the year. 
O F   M Y   L I F E!

ill leave ya with like 1,000 quotes. (i flagged the crap out of this book!) 

"...anybody can look at you. It's quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you see." 
- Aza pg 9

"no one ever says good-bye unless they want to see you again." 
-Davis pg 59

"Your now is not your forever." 
-Aza pg 93

"Being vulnerable is asking to get used." 
-Aza pg 108

"Oh no no no. Far from it. What i love about science is that as you learn, you don't really get answers. You just get better questions." 
-Malik pg 177

Part of me wanted to tell him i loved him, but i wasn't sure if i really did. Our hearts were broken in the same places. that's something like love. but maybe not quite the thing itself." 
pg 206

To be alive it to be missing. 
pg 281

THERE IS HOPE, EVEN WHEN YOUR BRAIN TELLS YOU THERE ISN'T. 
-John Green

there are a million and one things that i could say about this book i just don't know how or where to start. 
I'm pretty sure my little ass review did not do this book justice but just know that this book is golden. i can't even properly convey to you how amazing this book is. 
its John Green at his finest. 
its written in his voice so well. besides Nicola Yoon, i have not come across another YA writer that makes me feel like they're writing for just more than the YA fans. it speaks to everyone. 
its a love story, its a friendship story. its a family story. its a heartbreak story. 
its all of these subjects rolled into one and he just wraps this up so beautifully. I'm seriously mad that i don't have the proper words to describe this to you because it deserves so much more than i can ever speak on. 

FUCKING LOVE IS AMAZING NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!!

thanks for reading!
jump on over for spoilers. 
#lesreads on IG

PS: if a movie is ever made, don't you see Miles Teller playing Davis? 
all of the hell yes!!!!!!

I originally wasn't going to do a post for this trip cause i didn't think i took enough pictures to justify one but last week i spent all of Friday & Saturday going over ALL OF MY PICTURES that i needed to edit so that i can print 'em out at Costco and it turns out, i sorta did have enough!
(side note: i haven't printed out our pics since July....so it was a lot!) 

anyway.....we had an open weekend, so i tricked him into going. hehe
he's been wanting to go to that damn Winchester House FOREVER and as usual he kept talking about it but not going through with it. 
so i told him that i had bought the tickets for the tour and that we were going; all he had to do was book the room. 
he got sooooooooo excited. 

i hadn't booked shit. lol. 
i had to make him admit that he did want to go and that the drive was worth it so i could get the wheels in motion. 

after all that, we got the tour tickets and booked the hotel. 

I'm always down for a 1 day trip, i don't care where. but this time i convinced him to leave on Friday night so that we could have all of Saturday in San Fran. (we booked our hotel in San Jose like 5 mins away from the Winchester House). 
my idea worked out great!

Saturday, we drove to San Francisco, which is about an hr and some minutes away and headed for the Golden Gate Bridge. 


Ive been to SF before but with family so we mostly did the touristy stuff and then headed to Oakland and the last time i went years ago with friends, i apparently did not do SF right. 

anyway, we drove to the bridge, got off walked around took about 1000 pictures and then as we were getting ready to leave, this bus pulls up. you know those buses. the ones that total tourist do! that you swear you would never do in your own city.

we did the damn bus. 

AND IT WAS THE BEST FREAKING THING EVER!!!!!

apparently, if i would have crossed the bridge ($7), i would have been going away from SF into Sausalito. which i should have know but...i didn't. 

so we get on the bus, it crosses up to Sausalito and it. is. so. beautiful!!!!!!!!!
i wish we would have gotten off and walked around but we were on a time restraint so we stayed on the bus and headed back to SF to see the rest. 

ahhh! <3 <3 <3 <3 

i just want to remember that we were sitting on top of a double decker bus hauling ass on the freeway dodging branches about 90% of the time. 

it was the best! lol 

from there, we got off that bus and jumped on another bus that took us all over SF and honestly, that place is soooooo much bigger than i even thought it was. 
we're definitely going back and doing an entire weekend. 

he was so amazed that he wasn't even on his phone and honestly, i think that was my highlight!!!
since we also didn't really know how the bus deal worked (i mean, we sorta did),we just stayed on and did the whole thing by bus and honestly, good freaking call because we saw WAY MORE than i would have ever been able to show him had i driven (and we didn't have to look for parking like crazy.) these were just a few of the spots...i wish i would have gotten a lot more pictures because there was soooo much! 

after it takes you everywhere it ends up i guess at the beginning of the tour (not even sure where that's at tbh). we got off at Fisherman's wharf had some drinks and then had a late lunch. i regret that we didn't hit up Pier 39 which is like a 5 minute walk from where we were at but i wasn't even thinking about that then. 

wherever you get dropped off, you can jump back on the bus and do the tour all over again. but we wanted to get going so we just got a lyft and apparently we were only about 20 mins from where we had originally started.

we left around 630 so we were right on time to catch the sunset and...all of the heart eye emojis!!! 
 

we pulled over on some random street that leads you out of the bridge area to head back to San Jose and that sunset was sooooooo beautiful! i can't even begin to describe! 

San Francisco, we love you and we WILL be back!!!
from there, we left back to San Jose to do what we headed out to do; go to this damn house. I'm a huge chicken shit so...ya know.
you wait out here before you get called in to go in with your group. 

the entire reason we went on this trip was this freaking house and if I'm being 100000% honest, it blew.
a) its pricey AF. it was like $90 for the both of us to do the Halloween tour at like 11pm. 
b) the actor we got was cool but just, too much.
c) everything is freaking closed off so you're basically just going in a straight line throughout the house. 

I'm going to assume that you can just google the story if you want to know what's up with this house. 
but quickly, home girl built this house after her husband died because someone told her something about some spirits getting her. she had construction going on for years until she died. (google it because who even knows if I'm right) i think home girl (our tour guide) said that the house was once 7 stories tall but that there was an earthquake not that long ago that knocked down the top 3 so now there's only 4 (but only take you to the first 3).

they walk you all over and tell you stories of said rooms and then they randomly have people in each room doing, idk, bits for you. 
example: there was a tarot reader and she'd put these cards in a cup and the cup in the little replica of the house. she'd then close the house and the cards would levitate to give her answers to her questions. 
we were to the left of her so we could see her making the motions in back to get it all moving. 
i mean, everyone had to have known it was fake. but like, you know. 

other than that, because its all mostly windows and half walls, you can see the actors hiding so i was able to catch them early enough so that they wouldn't scare me but someone else. lol.
i mean, don't get me wrong, the entire time i was chanting "i do not accept you" just in case a spirit wanted to come back with me. lol. I'm not kidding. but it wasn't really that creepy at all. 

i think the Halloween tour was a bit TOO much but apparently a friend of mine did a regular tour and he said that it wasn't that great either.  


the house has also been touched up, i mean of course given the age of the house but nothing about it felt malicious. i was more scared at Hearst Castle than I was here and that i am aware of, nothing bad happened over there. 
i also think that it doesn't help that its on a main street. so right in front of this house is, i think a hotel or something.  i mean, don't get me wrong, i wouldn't go into that house by myself with a flashlight, you couldn't pay me enough, but it just was not what we were expecting. 
personally, i didn't care and i was kinda glad it wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be but he was pissed. bahahhaha. oh well!
we were beat by then (id only slept like 6 hrs total in the last 3 days) so we got in&out and passed out. 
gold member boyfriend <3 // he's making fun of me for protecting that little muffin. 
it was SO good!!!

on Sunday, we check out and i decided that we should go to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk. 
I've seen it on IG and I've always wanted to go so i looked it up. 
and for some reason, it said there was no route so i googled for something else to do. 
and we got The Mystery Spot!!!

let me tell you though! THAT DRIVEEE!!!!!!
best freaking drive ever! 
its just you in the forest and its the bestttt!!!

its up there with that drive on the 1. 
UGH!!!! i want to go back!!!!!!!!
we were going to go into the mystery spot and do the tour but you need a reservation and the next one wasn't until 330 (it was like 140 when we went) but the cashier gave us a map and told us we could go to the boardwalk if we wanted to (BINGO!!!) and then just come back. 
she for some reason didn't want to take his card and preferred cash so we were going to come back but then we found the boardwalk AND OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES!
its everything i thought it would be and then 1000% times more!!!!
 

this was the freaking best!!!!!!!!!!
that boardwalk is amazing!!!
all we have (i mean we have a lot) is Santa Monica and this one DEFINITELY blows SM out of the water. 
this place is huge, they have all sorts of rides for everyone and the beach!!!!! and that little pool water lake area whatever its called. 

ahh!!!!

San Francisco was a hit, Santa Cruz was a hit. 
this entire trip was a hit!!!!

Santa Cruz beach is so awesome, we even saw some juggalos, full makeup and all, dressed in black chillin on the beach. 

BEST FREAKING TRIP EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i still cant believe we did all that.
and i cant wait for our trip next month!!!!

if you read all that!, thanks!! that's why i love you! 
i hope you have a good rest of your week!!!