Station Eleven // Emily St. John Mandel

published: 2014 
pages: 333
isbn: 978-0-385-35330-4
read: 4/18/2017 to Didn't Finish
rating: couldn't do it man. 

Kirsten Raymonde will never forget the night Arthur Leander, the famous Hollywood actor, had a heart attack on stage during a production of King Lear. That was the night when a devastating flu pandemic arrived in the city, and within weeks, civilization as we know it came to an end. 

Twenty years later, Kirsten moves between the settlements of the altered world with a small troupe of actors and musicians. They call themselves The Traveling Symphony, and they have dedicated themselves to keeping the remnants of art and humanity alive. But when they arrive in St. Deborah by the Water, they encounter a violent prophet who will threaten the tiny band’s existence. And as the story takes off, moving back and forth in time, and vividly depicting life before and after the pandemic, the strange twist of fate that connects them all will be revealed.

ah, well. 

i'm on page 223 of 333 which according to goodreads is only 66% and i am struggling to keep up buuuuut i think its time for me to let it go. 
i finished the damn thing. even if i did skip through. 

i want to like this book more than i don't. i think mostly in part because everyone I'm friends with over on goodreads (all of 6 people) have either read it and loved it OR have it on their to-read list. if I'm being honest, i think part of me wanted to finish it because Elise LOVED it and i usually am all for what she reads. (actually, i haven't liked the last few....hmm)

but alas, you can't force yourself to feel for anything if you don't care about it to begin with. 

its not a badly written book, it's just not my taste. 
i don't hate it, i just don't have the will to go on. i just had no care to finish it completely.

it goes from the past to the now present. 
it has all these characters that are somehow connected that i can't piece together (i did). all i know is Arthur i guess, is a main part of all that. and i think the Prophet MIGHT be Jeevah (or however the fuh you spell his name.) 

it starts with the beginning of the end and then it jumps to 19-20 years later after the Georgia Flu. 
for a while it stayed there and it left me craving for the people in the past because i was over it. 
and then it would jump out into the "past" and well, i regretted wishing for the past (HAY-O! life full circle!)

i just didn't feel the excitement for this book. 
I'd leave it alone for days. I'd pick it up and get into it and then I'd be over it right away. 
it didn't stir any emotion in me and well, its due at the library tomorrow. there's no way in hell I'm going to stay up to finish the last 120 pages. and i just BARELY finished it by jumping around. 

while i would have been okay not finishing it, I'm glad i jumped around the last 120 pages and i found the "plot twist" or whatever. didn't even think about it when it hinted it properly. J wasn't the Prophet (mild spoiler!) was better!

le sigh. 
here are a few of my fave quotes from the book though. 

"this life was never ours. We were only ever borrowing it." 
- Miranda pg 101

"No one ever thinks they're awful, even people who really actually are. its some sort of survival mechanism."
 - Miranda pg 106

"First we only want to be seen, but once we're seen, that's not enough anymore. After that, we want to be remembered." 
- Clark pg 187 (i think...I'm not even sure) 

(my personal fave because, LOL!) 
"Look, everyone just chill the fuck out, I'll cover it on my Amex." 
- Max pg 243

jump over for the spoilers! 

thanks for reading!
#lesreads on IG

Arthur has a heart attack on stage and Jeevah runs up on stage to help him. 
too late; he's dead. 

Kristen is there on stage and witnesses the whole ordeal. 

jeevah was there with his gf who, instead of being there for him, just left. 
as he walks home, shit hits the fan and he ends up buying a whole market and flees to his brothers apartment where they stay for several months. 
Frank's a paraplegic so, to cut the shit, he kills himself, because what chance does he have. 

Kristen has been traveling with the symphony carrying clips of Arthur's old life + a set of comic books he gave her (that his exwife Miranda had worked on) and some paperweight thing that i think she somehow got a hold of when she witnessed Arthur pass away.

Clark survives and lives in the airport where he grows old, but at the airport, he runs into (or idk, i started skipping here) Elizabeth (Arthur's 2nd ex wife) and their kid, Ty...something or other.  

there's dead people in the plane but no one ever goes near it because those that survived the Georgia flu (that's what they called it) don't know how or why they did so they don't want to risk it. one day, Clark finds the kid, Ty, praying at the plane...he gets worried, tells Elizabeth and she justifies it as some sort of Jesus thing. 

they eventually leave (year 2) and that's the end of that. erm, them.

the symphony returns to this one town where they had left some other members of their crew, to collect them and it turns out that its been taken over by this dude, The Prophet. 
guy is fucken nuts. about 20 something, claiming something about being the light or some shit and marrying 12 year old girls. 

long story short, Arthur's kid is the fucken Prophet (glad i skipped around and found this out). 
he gets killed by one of the kids he had as a "security" when they're holding Kristen hostage. 

then the symphony heads to the airport where they stay for 5 weeks and where Kristen learns that far away, electricity is available. 

...i think its the town that Jeevah lives in. 

essentially, everyone in the story is connected to fucking Arthur. 

and that's it. 

i mean there's more buuuut....that's the gist of it. 
i'm still trippin' balls that Arthur is the connection behind it all. 

thanks for reading. 

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