the book of M // Peng Shepherd

published: 2018

pages: 485

heard / read: 4/30 to 5/3/2019 

book: 35 in 2019

SYNOPSIS

Set in a dangerous near future world, The Book of M tells the captivating story of a group of ordinary people caught in an extraordinary catastrophe who risk everything to save the ones they love. It is a sweeping debut that illuminates the power that memories have not only on the heart, but on the world itself.

One afternoon at an outdoor market in India, a man’s shadow disappears—an occurrence science cannot explain. He is only the first. The phenomenon spreads like a plague, and while those afflicted gain a strange new power, it comes at a horrible price: the loss of all their memories.

Ory and his wife Max have escaped the Forgetting so far by hiding in an abandoned hotel deep in the woods. Their new life feels almost normal, until one day Max’s shadow disappears too.

Knowing that the more she forgets, the more dangerous she will become to Ory, Max runs away. But Ory refuses to give up the time they have left together. Desperate to find Max before her memory disappears completely, he follows her trail across a perilous, unrecognizable world, braving the threat of roaming bandits, the call to a new war being waged on the ruins of the capital, and the rise of a sinister cult that worships the shadowless.

As they journey, each searches for answers: for Ory, about love, about survival, about hope; and for Max, about a new force growing in the south that may hold the cure.

MY THOUGHTS

SHORT VERSION 

Ask and the universe delivers.

Finally!, a dystopian read that I did not hate.

LONG VERSION

as i have mentioned before, i get emails for eBooks on sale and this was one of them but i tend to avoid buying them now because i rarely use my e reader (not to say that there isn't a huge chunk to read on my nook and on the kindle app!), Its just that books are my priority right now because my library is hooking me up! but i saw this and it was the cover that caught my attention. (isn’t it always though?)

...then i read the synopsis and i was like crap! 😫...because you already know that station 11 wasn’t my favorite and neither were any of the dystopian stories that have come after it. but i was like screw it let me see if my library has it. 

and they did! 
both audio and physical so i got both.

and i'm glad i did because i really ended up liking this story. 

finally, a dystopian story that isn't so…, dreadful. That isn’t dragging and iduno…. boring. As far off as it is, it isn’t…nothing. at the end of it all, it has something to offer to me that none of the other have been able to do. 

i will admit that for most of the book, i was kind of lost because it’s kind of all over the place in regards to reality and fantasy but once i got the hang of it, i was okay with it.

what made this book for me was the end. 
it was so sad. 
to get so far, to be so close, so hopeful just for it to end the way it did for Ory. 
but that was the beauty in it. I don’t think I would have liked it as much as I did if it had all “worked out” in the end.

i loved Max's parts in the book. the way you got to see it evolving from her point of view even when she is slowly but surely losing her memories while Ory is seeing it all unravel and fall apart while moving forward on his end.

what a beauty that she has her memories in the recorder (although, wouldn't she eventually forget how to even use it?) to help her navigate what is to come in the upcoming years. and i find it so clever that the author was able to use the recorder for and against Max & Ory. i feel like that recorder played a huge part in all the decisions that were made by Max. and how Ory's fear played a huge part in the story as well. (I wont spoil it here)

this book involves weird magic bits, fear of the "end of the world", heartbreak, loss, discovery, courage, rage, love....just a bit of everything. and it all ties it up nicely, but i will admit that it is also a little out there. its all over the place but its done so good (IMHO) that I'm not questioning the validity of any part of this story no matter how far fetched it may seem just because its something I'm not used to reading. 

i ended up liking this book so much that i did end up buying it for my nook. this is a book that i will re-read sometime in the future and i just know that every time i do read it, it will teach me something new. i think i will always end up catching something that i previously missed. 

HERE is a review that i went off of when i first started this book. like always, i cheated and looked up spoilers and she was the only one that provided them. also, she goes a bit more into it than i do here and it looks like she's not a huge fan of the book, at least not as much as i am and i think its good to see two sides to this book.

overall, i'm glad i read this and i'm even more ecstatic that i found a dystopian novel that i ended up liking and not regretting like i have all others. 

as always, spoilers coming up!

thanks for reading! 

#lesreads on IG

EDIT: after writing out spoilers, I'm realizing that a) i either really didn't pay THAT MUCH attention or there really are a lot of things that were just left to your interpretation. either way, still really liked this book. 

SPOILERS

a man in India loses his shadow and eventually he loses his memory. 

as this is developing, Max & Ory are at Paul & Imanuel's wedding at a hotel. 

eventually after everything starts falling apart, people leave and its only a couple of people that are left at the hotel. 

since they know nothing and have lost service, they think that the shadowless are infectious so when Max's best friend loses her shadow, they quarantine her along with the others who eventually end up dying of dehydration. 

Paul, Imanuel, Max & Ory are among the few left and eventually P & I decide to leave. Max had set up a deal with them that they should all go at the same time when the time comes but Ory tricked her because he was too afraid to leave. so P & I left while Ory managed to distract her. 
even though Max had made a deal with Paul & Imanuel first, it was the deal between Ory and Paul & Imanuel that won. 

now, Max has lost her shadow. 

but so far she still remembers. 

Ory leaves the hotel when he needs to go get food or supplies (its been a while so they are scarce) and runs into Ursula with her group of 12. 

they are on the run to New Orleans where the rumors of help have come from. 

they tell him they cant take him because they have just enough to survive and make it for only the 12 of them. 

he does his rummaging, goes back to the hotel and on the way he gets knocked the fuck out by someone. (now that i think about it, its never said who did it. it could have been that i missed it but honestly, i doubt it). when he finally comes to, he heads back to Max only to realize that she is gone. 

the shadowless eventually turn harmful hurting those with shadows trying to steal their shadows. 

max leaves before she can hurt Ory. 

Ory goes after her thinking that she might have gone back to their house in DC (i think) but in reality, she goes the opposite way. she's all alone by herself until she runs into Ursula and her gang. and they go all through all their shit. 

she is recording everything she can as she goes. 
and the only reason they keep her is because well, they've lost some of the 12 but she's also the only one that can read. 

Naz

naz is in the US training for the Olympics when shit hits the fan. she hasn't talked to her mother due to a falling out but now that its all fallen apart, she calls her. 

her mother and sister are in India when all this happens. 

because the mom knows people will soon start looting, she urges Naz to run to and hide so she hides in a studio of some dude she was talking to. the first few days, she is on the phone at all times with her mom and sister til she loses power. she is there for months until her sister shows up. (that's a whole ass other plot that i wont get into because it took a lot for her to get to her.) 

they decide to make a run for it, they survive, come across some dude that was good with them til he either a) just went crazy trying to steal their shit or b) lost his shadow and just lost it (but tbh, i think its just a. cause they never mention anything about him losing his shadow) he hurts Nazs' sister and they kill him. 

days pass, they are weak, they run into a shit load of shadowless and basically are thisclosetoadmittingdefeat until a group of people save them. 

i forgot how it happens that Ory runs into Naz but basically her group or whatever takes him back to their leader after he states that he doesn't mean any harm. 
(the group of people that saved Naz was Immanuel's crew but of course you dont find out that its Imanuel until after they save Ory.) 

and the leader ends up being Imanuel. 

shit happens, they talk, he joins their army and basically that group is trying to a) collect as many book as possible from the library across that has been taken over by reds (I'm assuming they are shadowless but it doesn't make sense because they aren't violent like all the others in the sense that they don't just attack. they're "mannered" and B) collect one of the last possible copy of Paul's poetry book (he was a famous author.)

Imanuel tells Ory that Paul lost his shadow and eventually became violent. and while they kept moving him room to room, he kept destroying them and eventually there was nothing more that they could do. 

it is mentioned that Imanuel walked him out but its not said what happens to Paul then. we dont know that Imanuel let him go and live until after the fact. 

so Ory is over here joining their army for books and whatever he breaks protocol and manages to get to the front of the library when he notices that there is a woman in there who is in the verge of giving birth and doesn't look good. 

he tells everyone and Imanuel makes the decision that even though the reds are violent, he needs to be the one to go in and help her out. everyone fights it but he does it. 

Imanuel is very adamant that he will be able to help. 

to cut to the chase, he goes in, he tries to help but it all goes bad because she dies. (also, did the baby die? nothing is really mentioned) Ory somehow gets in and is looking for Paul's book when shit hits the fan. 

so now, the red king is going bonkers and basically, it turns out that the red king is Paul. (its more dramatic in the story and that shit blew my mind!) 

Paul cuts Imanuel, Ory gets him out, everyone has the horses and carriages full of books ready to go, Imanuel apologizes to Ory, i think Ory kills Paul, Imanuel ends up dying and the whole gang takes off to a whole army of reds following them. 

Imanuel was trying to save all the books to take them to New Orleans as an offering. (it might be obvious, i dunno, i think he was just trying to save Paul's book just to have it for himself....i have no idea wtf happened to the copy they had at their wedding.) 

they're on their way to New Orleans. and once they make it, they are accepted by 

THE ONE WHO GATHERS

this guy was in a very bad accident and has no memory of anything prior to his accident. no memory of any life events, his mother, ex wife, NOTHING!

this happens around the time that the first shadowless man in India loses his shadow so his medical team wants to go meet up with homeboy in India to study both their brains to see if there is any kind of connection.  

there he meets the shadowless man and they form a bond. SM (shadowless man for short) tells him about a story about elephants and how they retain memories even if they weren't a part of it. 

they talk about it (i wont even try to explain this in detail to you!) and then people all over the US start losing their shadow. 

TOWG has to go back with his doctor where they survive for a while and then little by little start trying to help out the shadowless til shit hits the fan and they kill the doctor. 

[ i didn't note that at the time of the accident, the car accident, he lost vision on one eye. ]

anyway, times passes, he is in his building prepping shit because a storm is coming. gathering his paperwork, his people and supplies when someone knocks at his door. he's all wtf but it ends up being SM's doctor. she was there, looking for his doctor. to further study the situation with him. he lets her in, they retreat to the attic or whatever when he realizes that he left all of his paperwork upstairs (it included studies and memories of the shadowless along with the story that SM had told him and given him at their original meeting and a bunch of notes). he goes to get it but because he is blind from one eye, he doesn't see the beam that knocks him out. 

he is down for days (?) and loses the vision on his one good eye. 

(this is where idk wtf happened) 

somehow he gets an elephant.....kinda spirit that sees for him. 

THE ONE WHO GATHERS LIVES IN NEW ORLEANS AND ALL THOSE THAT SEEK SAFE HAVEN ARE GOING TO HIM. 

TOWG continued his doctors studies and kept researching SM's theories so he has a way to sort of attach shadows to people. but everything that he's tried to attach has been of no success. 

Ory, Naz and the rest reach New Orleans and TOWG allows them entry. they're so amazed that they don't see that someone in their group has lost her shadow (i cant remember her name.) 

Ory lets TOWG know that there is a group of idk wtf they're called coming and its basically going to be a war. white coats. that's what they're called i think. and essentially what they want is to also lose their shadows so they can gain what those that lose their shadows gain. they're fucking insane. (also i think the shadowless gain some sort of magical superpower kinda thing. not sure) Ory lets him know that he and his crew is ready to fight. 

TOWG lets him know that he gots it. his group of 8 will handle it.

home girl who lost her shadow, who is part of ory's group, is then asked to battle to make it strong and so that it works and she says yes even though her father is against it. i guess to do what they need to do, it required (obvs) effort but it also,...costs (?) them memories. she says yes and they do it. 

the whites show up, their leader is a shadowless, i think Lucius is his name and he talks to home girl who joined the 8. 

when shit hits the fan, he doesn't even try to fight or defend "his" people, he just seems....exhausted. 
(side note on Lucius: ....Max & Ursula & the gang get captured by the white coats. WC's are trying to break them into giving them the power to get rid of their shadows but they aren't breaking anyone. Lucius was part of Max & Ursula's group. he says fuck it, gives up and goes with them...he says he doesnt care because nothing will change so he goes with them.)

and basically what the 8 do is: 
mix everyone
make them match clothing so no one knows who is who and then 
they submerge them all under water essentially killing all the white coats. 

i 100% swear this is what i heard / read but i could be wrong. sorry man. this is everywhere. 

and the reason i can swear up and down this is true is because Lucius should have been able to stop all this (at least i think) but he was like fuck it. take em all. 

homeboy was tired af. 

i should note that by this time (but only once they had made it to New Orleans) Ory and Naz are, i wouldn't say hooking up but like, well they did hook up but i think trying to develop something. 

anyway...time passes (like days or i don't even know anymore) and someone arrives to the gate asking for help.

who is it!????????

after everything happens, TOWG comes to Ory and lets him know that Max is back. 

Ory is all WTF!!!!

Naz gets bothered and moves out. 

and finally the day comes when Ory can meet up with Max.

...she arrived with the recorder which TOWG gives to Ory.

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and here comes Max.

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except that its not Max. 

its Ursula with Max's memories in her. 

at the end of Max's last chapter she acknowledges that she legit is forgetting. 

and that she fucked up by not staying with Ory. 

and then, it ends. we have no idea what happens to her. or what happened overall. we dont know how she dies. but if im guessing correctly, she dies while escaping the white coats. 

we just know that shit hit the fan and although Ursula was way more memory-less than Max, she took her recorder and continued to New Orleans. 

and so now Ory has the essence of Max without physical Max. 

and Ursula cant tell him anything about anything because a) she doesn't remember anything but b) she's full of nothing but Max. 

of course Ory loses his shit and ultimately, Maxula (lol i merged their names because I'm not typing both out) moves away from where the city is being rebuilt. 

home girls dad (the one that was in the 8) goes to TOWG and tells him that while he respects his daughters wishes even though he doesn't want to, he cannot stand by and twiddle his thumbs knowing she is losing herself by the minute nor can he wait til they assign her a shadow, so he wants to leave their city or whatever and find others to bring back. TOWG doesn't hold anyone back and everyone is free to come and go as they please so he tells him okay. 

he assembles an army and Maxula ends up going with him because she cant bear to be there in memory when she's physically gone. 

and das it. 

please note that i missed A LOT! 

like a shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit load. 

but i couldn't even if i tried. 

but if ya can, give it a listen.