F My Life

published: 2009

pages: 93 (as an ebook. but realistically it was 83)

isbn: 978-0345518767

read: 8/2-10/2017

book 25 of 29 for 2017

SYNOPSIS
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don’t have a text messaging plan. I paid 25 cents to get fired.

Your girlfriend dumped you, your car broke down, your boss passed you up for the big promotion. Life’s not fair, but there is one sure-fire way to ease your pain–laughing at someone else who had an even worse day than you did.

Enter the devastatingly funny world of F My Life, where calamity is comedy. Covering every disastrous pratfall in love, work, family-life, and more, F My Life proffers other people’s ruinous, real-life happenings to brighten your gloomiest day: someone getting dumped through a greeting card, ignored at their birthday party, or insulted by their own grandmother. Spanning everything from ironic twists of fate to down-right shameful moments, F My Life’s squirm-inducing stories are schadenfreude at its finest. So today, take solace in knowing that at least you’re not that guy. There now, don’t you feel better?

MY THOUGHTS
ahm, im in a funk
i don't want to read anything and what i start i hate, so i haven't bothered.
and then i got an email and this book was for sale so i bit the bullet.
...and i waited weeks.

so i finally started it and it was actually pretty funny at some points.

its split into several sections and they mostly had some gems in them.
then they had some stupid ass ones that i was like, "REALLY!?"
for example: Today, my boyfriend told me i smell like vegetables. FML.
uhm no, that one was pretty stupid.
i think the stupidest one.

but overall, funny read.
except, you can go on the website and read all the FML's for free.
and it looks like they updated it so haaay! (and i'd link it but my job has blocked it lol! fmylife.com)

anyway, ill leave you with some i thought were highlarious.

today i went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. when i got there, she noticed my new tongue piercing and asked why i would get that done. before i could reply, my cousin said, "so she can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." she's 9 years old. FML.

today in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking at the man using the urinal to his right, my six-year-old son turned to me and exclaimed, "Daddy that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" the whole bathroom heard. FML

today my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's disease and can't usually remember my name, had a sudden moment of clarity and asked my why i'm not married yet. FML

today i was reading the end of my book. i turned the page and saw, written at the top: "lauren kills paul in the end. you shouldn't have pissed me off." it was from my sister.

we had a fight yesterday. FML

Today my best friend invited me to dinner at his house. when i went to the bathroom, i found my wife's wedding ring in a cup. she lost it a week ago. FML

thanks for reading.

promise to start reading something more intriguing!