not if i see you first // eric lindstrom

published: 2015 
isbn: 9780316259859
pages: 310
read from: 8/24-28/2016
rating: 1) didn't care for it 2) liked it 3) LOVED IT

SYNOPSIS (amazon)
Parker Grant doesn't need 20/20 vision to see right through you. That's why she created the Rules: Don't treat her any differently just because she's blind, and never take advantage. There will be no second chances. Just ask Scott Kilpatrick, the boy who broke her heart.

When Scott suddenly reappears in her life after being gone for years, Parker knows there's only one way to react--shun him so hard it hurts. She has enough on her mind already, like trying out for the track team (that's right, her eyes don't work but her legs still do), doling out tough-love advice to her painfully naive classmates, and giving herself gold stars for every day she hasn't cried since her dad's death three months ago. But avoiding her past quickly proves impossible, and the more Parker learns about what really happened--both with Scott, and her dad--the more she starts to question if things are always as they seem. Maybe, just maybe, some Rules are meant to be broken.

Parker (love that name) is left on her own when her father passes away. its never really known whether he committed suicide or if it was accidental but anyway...because she is blind and for her to learn a new layout of a new place would be too hard, her aunt and family move in with her into her home.

she's blind because her mother decided to polish off a bottle of wine and then drive. causing a car accident where she dies and leaves Parker blind. it wasn't anything that would cause her to need to hide her eyes because she was left visibly scarred, cause she wasn't, but she chooses to cover her face (her eyes) with different scarves each and every day. 

to save herself from further pain after what Scott did to her, she sets up these 10 rules. basically they state that yes she's blind but she's still human.
and you are never allowed to  screw her over (and other stuff about how you need to let her do her own thing because even if she's blind, she's still probably smarter than most and can handle it herself.)
because once you do, you're on her shit list forever.

so what did Scott do?
well, this takes place in HS.
they dated when they were 13 and it was all great and amazing. typical love story but his friends didn't believe they were dating so he tells them where they usually go make out.
his thought was, they'd see through the window. turns out they were in the closets and as soon as they started, they all started laughing. so of course, she reacts to this negatively.
she cuts him out of her life completely.

fast forward, 3 years later they meet up again when their high school's are merged together and now its time to clear it all up.

eventually she realizes that she messed up by blowing him off and not listening to him.
she learns that her attitude has not only cost her the one human in the world that truly, ridiculously loves her but its also shaped how her other friends act around her. example: Sarah. she breaks up with Rick and tells her but keeps it at a minimum. and when Sarah finally tells her why, she realizes that her rules might be a bit too much.

in the end, she lets Scott know that she messed up and asks for forgiveness.
its back and forth with them but I think it ends with them eventually trying it one more time.

there's a lot more in there that I left out, as always, except that this time I left out like A LOT of it. I just jumped straight to the point.

(just thoughts on the book itself)

uhm, I checked this book out because I was on a crazy "put books on hold" spree online and after my last 2, I kinda hesitated with this one. I wanted to hate it. I don't know why.
I don't hate the book but I would have been okay not ever reading it.
listen to your guts guys!

uhm, i liked the message the book had. about how you should basically always have all the facts before you jump in and assume. 
i liked how she ended up learning more about herself and those around her after it all. 
and even more importantly, it made me realize that i love running and that i need to stop being lazy and get into it again!!!

other than that, i cant really give you much more. i wish i could yeah. 

generally this is where i leave you with about one thousand quotes but you know...
so here's one. 

"Just tell me anything you're not sure about and let me worry about what it means." 
-Parker pg 121

thanks for reading!

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