Books [Read] By Les

It all started at a dinner party. . . 

A domestic suspense debut about a young couple and their apparently friendly neighbors—a twisty, rollercoaster ride of lies, betrayal, and the secrets between husbands and wives. . . 

Anne and Marco Conti seem to have it all—a loving relationship, a wonderful home, and their beautiful baby, Cora. But one night when they are at a dinner party next door, a terrible crime is committed. Suspicion immediately focuses on the parents. But the truth is a much more complicated story.

Inside the curtained house, an unsettling account of what actually happened unfolds. Detective Rasbach knows that the panicked couple is hiding something. Both Anne and Marco  soon discover that the other is keeping secrets, secrets they've kept for years. 

What follows is the nerve-racking unraveling of a family—a chilling tale of  deception, duplicity, and unfaithfulness that will keep you breathless until the final shocking twist.

SPOILERS
Anne is married to Marco who is beyond hated by his in laws. (mother is mother father is her stepfather, Richard. i don't remember her moms name. Vivian?) 
Cynthia and Graham are Anne and Marcos' neighbors. 

got names out of the way, good. 

so, Anne and Marco go over to C & G's house for a birthday dinner party for G and they decided to leave the baby, Cora, at home. its right next door and they have the baby monitor. yes, they had a babysitter but she calls out last minute because her grandmother passed away so they go ahead and leave her with the pretense that they'll check on her every half hour. so they go over at like idk, 9 or something and they're there until 1ish am. and when they get home, she is missing. 
their baby has been kidnapped. 

for the sake of not making this long, it was Marco. 
he kidnapped his own baby. 
for the ransom of 5 mil. 
his company is going down and after asking his father in law for the money and being shut down, he resorts to this. 

he goes home at 1230 almost 1 and hands the baby over to his accomplice. 
the deal is, you call me in several hours, we meet up, exchange babe for money, we go halfers, and no one will ever find out. 

except, he doesn't call. 
he's actually murdered. so no one knows where the fuck the baby is at now. or whether she's even alive. 

turns out, it was freaking Anne's dad all along. 
he was cheating on his wife, had cheated on his wife several times before, but this time it was with Cynthia. yep, the neighbor. the one that used to be her friend and according to her mother this one was different. 

Richard talked, i forgot his name, into befriending Marco. so when he told Marco to talk to Richard for a loan, he knew he'd say no. that's when he suggested staging a kidnapping. 
the deal between dude and dad (BRUCE! his fake name is Bruce) was, they'd frame Marco and send his ass to jail so that Richard could keep the ransom money and escape with Cynthia (they had an ironclad prenup.)  and i don't know, i guess give homeboy a cut (that's never the real intention) but somewhere in there it got all mixed up. I'm honestly not sure if he ended up double crossing Richard or just fucking Marco over but either way, busta is DEAD. 
Richard went to the cabin he was in and killed him. but like i said, it was either betrayal or guilt...i was too excited to pay attention. 

so now that homeboy is dead, Marco is really fucked. he knows he messed up, i mean he knew he did but he's like even more screwed. and little by little things start unraveling. 
Cynthia and Graham have a video of him handing the baby over, Anne finds the disposable cellphone he had, he gets beat when he goes to exchange the money for the baby (although who did it if homeboy was dead and Richard was at home!?) and the detective handling the case from the get go knows he's guilty. 
HE KNOWS!!!!!!!

ANNE!!! she's all sorts of fucked up. 
Anne has this weird thing where if she stresses out, she blacks out and doesn't know wtf she's doing and so basically, at the end, she kills Cynthia. 
she (pardon my french) motherfucken kills Cynthia. 
she kills her cause she goes over and tells her that she will NOT be blackmailing them and that she KNOWS she was a part of all of it. 
then Cynthia says she wasn't but that if it was up to her she would have killed that damn baby from the get go just to cut all the shit out. 
then Anne goes ape shit and kills her. 
and that's how Marco finds her in the living room. 
sitting on the couch.
covered in spots of blood all over. 
holding a knife in her hand. 
and when he asks her what happened (as they're wheeling Cynthia out) all she says is "I don't know. I don't remember." 


ahhh!!!!

MY THOUGHTS
just thoughts on the book itself

OHMGFREAKINGOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
i thought about this last night over and over how i could say what i wanted to say without spoiling it but there really isn't a way. erm, wasn't. 
and while you learn right away what the premise of the book is, i don't want to give it to you here. ....go to the spoilers above for that. 

anyway, OMFG! how do you okay 1)_____ a 2)_____ while you're at a dinner party next door! like i could now see why 3)____ did it but if i were 4)_______ i would've been like nah-uh. no sir. 
times are different now. they'll snatch your cat off your porch if you blink twice in a row! (Gayle from bobs burgers did it!) (see what i mean, you have no idea what I'm talking about. don't worry, a few weeks from now ill look back on this post and ill be like wtf does any of this mean. example. or look below lol. i decided to cut the crap and just do a little key. cause i will forget.) 

okay so this book. 
i wanted to read this book after i fell down a bookstagram hole and the description caught my attention. 
reading the description you don't really get much. yes there are secrets buuuuuuut there's like the one big thing that they don't mention. and he doesn't really have secrets, its more like she does. 

i signed up for a month free of audio books at playster.com (not an affiliated link. i have no idea how to get sponsored or any free crap) and this one was on there so i gave it a shot. 
of course i did what i always say i wont do and i went to see the goodreads reviews. and i gotta tell you, the first couple few aren't that great. but i still powered through it and guys!, i have no idea why this book got bad reviews. 
i was in suspense the whole time. 
just when it was making a right turn it said nah, made a circle and went left. and when it went left it still said nah and went and decided to make a complete 360. basically what I'm trying to say is that holy shit it did it's job! i thought i knew what was going on, and i did, but even after that, there was still more. 
it was one big, everyone is sorta i guess involved, hot mess of a deal and i loved it. 
i loved every single bit of it. i started it at work, went home and took my sweet ass time giving myself a mani just so i could listed to it some more. loved it. 

all of the emotions it made me feel. 
i was like nooo!!!! and then that no turned into a i cant believe it actually happened. 

i just love that when you think you know, you don't. 
you don't expect that last twist. but once you get to it you're like oooooh shit!

i see that this book is getting a lot dislike because of how it ends. How 5)______ gets away with it in a sense but then Anne 6)________ 7)________ and it ends there. so we don't know if she gets caught or anything. and its kinda frustrating but i kind of love it cause look, 
she has to live with what he did for the rest of her life BUT he has to live knowing that he doesn't know what she can do for the rest of their lives. 
like you fuck me over in plain sight, but i can screw you over without you even knowing. without ME even knowing (me being her.) 
i think that's scarier. kinda like a gone girl vibe but not that fucking crazy. (i still feel like i hate the shit out of that book.)  i hate comparing it to that. they only really have one thing in common.

uhm, yea man. 
this book!!!
i am definitely buying this book when it comes out on paperback (I'm a paperback > hard cover kinda gal). 
i talked my sisters ear off about this book. 
every time something happened, id call my coworker and be like so and so and omg! and ahhh!!! about it. 

i loved it. 
i loved the shit out of this story. 
good freaking job SL. 
I'm definitely a fan. 

and if you read it and you don't like the ending...."i don't know, i don't remember." is a lot scarier than any ending you could've possibly wanted. 
BECAUSE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, YOU WILL NEVER KNOW!
whats scarier than never knowing if you're completely safe or not. 

id leave you with quotes but i didn't get any except the one above and really, that's all that counts. 


ahhh!!!!
(i just realized that a) i ahhh!! A LOT in general but that b) i did it a lot this post. sorry!) 
also, yes i spoiled it for ya but i still left stuff out. 
...like always


gracias por leer! 
(thanks for reading)

published: 2016 // Candlewick Press
pages: 352
isbn: 978-0-7636-8205-7
read from: 10/6-12/2016
(technically, i opened the book on the 6th and read about 6 pages. then i picked it back up on the 11th and devoured the thing in 1 day...sooo....ill be honest about it but ill let you be the judge. i have issues. i know.) 
rating: 1) didn't care for it 2) liked it 3) LOVED IT

SYNOPSIS
(amazon)

How do you move on from an irreplaceable loss? In a poignant debut, a sixteen-year-old boy must learn to swim against an undercurrent of grief—or be swept away by it.

Otis and Meg were inseparable until her family abruptly moved away after the terrible accident that left Otis’s little brother dead and both of their families changed forever. Since then, it’s been three years of radio silence, during which time Otis has become the unlikely protégé of eighteen-year-old Dara—part drill sergeant, part friend—who’s hell-bent on transforming Otis into the Olympic swimmer she can no longer be. But when Otis learns that Meg is coming back to town, he must face some difficult truths about the girl he’s never forgotten and the brother he’s never stopped grieving. As it becomes achingly clear that he and Meg are not the same people they were, Otis must decide what to hold on to and what to leave behind. Quietly affecting, this compulsively readable debut novel captures all the confusion, heartbreak, and fragile hope of three teens struggling to accept profound absences in their lives.

SPOILERS
ahhh!!!!

i will try to go in chronological order because you already know i jump all over the place. 

anyway, Otis gets an email from Meg saying that she is in fact coming back to town after leaving 3 years prior without any notice. 

by this time, Dara has picked up the pieces and kicked his ass into hopefully making it into the Olympics. Oh! and Dara, love her ass, hot mess of a woman Dara, is an amputee, shark attack. 
anyway countdown to Megs arrival begins and this is where i leave the chronological train and just tell it all. 

MEG
Meg left after Mason's death because it was too much for her to bear. 
he passed away in her room. 
he choked on an old Easter that he found in her room. 
this completely fucks her up. I'm talking her having PTSD, is in therapy and shes trying to ruin herself for Otis. (drugs, alcohol, random sex (just once) kind of messed up.) 

so what does she have? 
she cant stand chocolate. the smell or even sight of it. why? because when she sees it or smells it, shes transported back to his death. 
she cant stand screaming anything, children, adults, anything because she is then transported back to that night and she remembers all the yelling and screaming that Otis' mother did. 
if she freaks out, she cleans windows.
why? 
because Mason was in her room when he passed away. 
and it overlooks the backyard.
he had chocolate all over his hands and he smeared it all over the window trying to get someones attention to rescue him. so her coping mechanism is to spot clean windows when shes freaking out. 
it was just a shitty situation. 
and it sucks because throughout the book, you get the feeling that it happened under her care or something. that she was at fault but that was never the case. it was just a freak accident.

so she asks her parents to move (she asks her dad for a transfer. he's a teacher...i think) because she cant bear to be there at all. 
they move to California and they lose contact. well, she cuts him off.
they all used to be best friends. 
them and their parents and after Mason's death, everyone is broken. 
her parents leave to CA and his mother no longer talks to her mother and she's a hot alcoholic mess. her parents are going through a divorce. 
a shitty thing happened to Otis' family but its Megs family that ends up all torn up.

the reason she comes back is because her therapist tells her that its time to face her fears. that it wasn't her fault and she needs to see that. 
so she goes back but at the end of it all, she decides to leave back to California. 
she doesn't want to remember Mason anymore at all and she cant ask Otis to forget his brother so that's where they stay; broken. (But I also loved that even though Otis LOVES Meg, he tells her straight out that he will never give up memory of his brother for her.)

That is, until she realizes that no matter where she goes she will never forget Mason so she asks for Otis' forgiveness and i like to think that at the end it all works out. 


DARA
Dara! i loved her. 
she had this kick ass attitude but then you realize that shes just as broken with her own set of shit. 
and another perfect example of how Otis had someone be there for him but he didn't quite realize how he needed to be there for them as well. 

right from the get go, you know she's missing her arm. 
as far as i know, it was a shark accident. 
what i learned later was that she knew it was a possibility but she still went swimming anyway.
and what i learned later (she was a VERY closed character. kept to herself) was that a) her dad basically disowned her because she honestly had true potential to make it to the Olympics for swimming and she threw all of that out the window.
i also learned that her mother was this accomplished ballerina who ended up committing suicide after her birth. 

you don't really know how fucked up in the everything she is til her accident. 
she's drinking and gets in an accident. and to the end, Otis still doesn't know if it was an accident or on purpose. 
so that happens and she gets better. 
then Abby comes along and makes her happy. they're this happy couple til, i guess you can call it a freak out. Dara tells her she will move with her to Colorado and when Abby tells her to chill, that she likes her but not like wife me up right now likes her, it sends her into another suicide spin. 

at this point, Otis is in Michigan with Meg and their parents when he gets a call from Abby. he freaks out, leaves (3 hrs away) just to find her in time. 

at the end of it all, she gets the help that she needs. 
she gets therapy and treatment for her pain and her relationship with her dad. 

i love that they give her a good ending. 
i love that even though she was falling to pieces, she rescues Otis. 
but i love even more that Otis saves her as well. 
and that he even states that he's bound to her. 
she's a part of him and he will always be there for her. 
(cue the waterworks.)

as for Otis, i mean what can i say. i feel like i just wrote this blog post and turned it into a short story. 
hes kind of described through it all. 


MY THOUGHTS
just thoughts on the book itself

i saw this book was on Meredith's to be read so i jumped wagon. then i went to the library, saw it from the corner of my eye, snatched it up and devoured it in one day (I'm talking 24 hr cycle. i have issues. i know.) (also, sorry to the people who have a hold on it cause i just straight jumped the line and jacked your spot.) 

anyway, i LOVE this book!!!!
once i got into it, i couldn't put it down. 
i stayed up til about 2 in the morning and made it to 200+ pages. 
i love everything about this book. 
i love the size of it (not too big or bulky to carry around.) 
i love the font they used. (basic book font but still!)
i love how the pages look with the font and how beautifully centered it all was in every single page. (I've never noticed that before in a book. like it never jumped at me to notice that.) 

i liked this book enough to give it 2 stars but it wasn't until the end that i was like 3 stars! 5 stars! heck, 10!!!
i loved love looooved it.  (also, i just realized that up until this point, all I've been talking about is bullshit so lets get to it.) 

i loved that this book was from a guys point of view. for the most part with YA i already know the premise of the book; 2 kids in love and they have to overcome all obstacles. but i still love reading their stories.
i have read a lot of that and its usually always the same but i love when i read YA from a dude's point of view. i felt Otis wasn't as dramatic as it could have been from a girls point of view (hello freaking Lara Jean. damn you 3rd book) given his circumstances.

you know from the get go that its based on dealing with the death of his little brother but also losing Meg. 
I love that Dara was there to pick him up (and put his ass in shape) only to have it come full circle. 
i love that at the end of it all, he "chooses" Dara when he could have had something with Meg happen. (not even a spoiler. ...but page 327, that damn paragraph got me right in all of the feels. the fact that he "picks" Dara over her. ahhh!!!!)
i love that one way or another, everyone sort of rescues each other in this book. i don't even know how to explain it. 
i love that you want it to go a certain way and then it doesn't and then twist! 
the last few pages i was laughing, screaming and crying. 
it was the best. 

I'm surprised that i caught early on about how Mason passes away. 
it was kind of a dead give away (super sorry for that pun but it was unintended.) 
what i wasn't expecting was everything else that happened to Meg. i was unaware of how much it affected her. i know Otis lost his brother but holy shit, it fucked Meg up. i guess that's what happens when one is there to witness it all and the other isn't.

i think its beautifully written in the sense that the author shows you both sides of the pain of losing someone. 
Otis is hurting because of his brother and then Meg.
but he never stopped to think about how she was feeling trying to carry her burden and still be there for him. 
it was amazing to see him come to his senses about all of this 3 years later. 
not only about her but also about his mother. 
oh his mother!
there's another broken character. 
i also loved that he does a comparison to the past where he was mad at his mom for not paying attention to what was going on and just staring at her child. 
the fact that he wishes he could go back and give her all of that and apologize for trying to taker her out of that moment was just, ahh!!!

i just love how Otis develops into a teenager. 
i love how he was written in this. 
i love that he finally sees everything from other point of views and he understands better. 
i just loved everything about this. 
i felt like at times, i was understanding things about my life by just reading this. 
life lesson teaching/learning books are the best. 

I'm going to freaking miss Otis. 
ahh!!!

as always, quotes, quotes, QUOTES!!!!!!

_________________________________________________________________________________________________
i know i gave you spoilers but trust me, as always, i still left a lot out and well, still, read the freaking book. 
if you don't like it, ill buy ya donuts. 
unless you don't like YA. then that's just cheating. 

thanks for reading my little baby short story of a post. lol 
have a great weekend!