6/08/2022

'22: ill be you // janelle brown

pub: 2022
pages:346
heard: may 2-9, 2011
book: 15 in 2022


THOUGHTS
well it ends stupid because how else could it. but theres something in between the words for me. i love the way you get to see the OTHER side of the story. here we are being like "damn sam." and elli is like "lol. hold my beer." 
bitch don't even drink beer. 

loolololololol

i think what i loved the most was the 2 sides to this story; first sam then elli then part 3. i loooooove, love, looooved seeing the other side of the glass. it was fascinating to me to see how sam felt like her actions affected elli and then we see how elli feels like her actions affected sam. and how sam was all "sam i am and my mom sucks!" and then her mom in the end is all "bitch. i knew" or idk. idk. whatever that was. 

listen im not saying that its the greatest thing ever because these two tricks do some of the dumbest shit ever and get away with it smoother than butta on pancakes but if you ignore the ending, i kinda dig the story. i would have loved like a horror version of this? okay not horror but like if stephen king would pick this book up and stephen king-afy it without giving me lifelong nightmares then id read it. in another universe i feel like this had the potential to be a little bit darker and it could've been amazing! 

anyway, LOL! i had been doing so good with previous reads and like getting the big thing before it was revealed and this one was laid out soooo cleanly and boom. i missed it. bahhahaha. did you see the thing? with the 3 addresses?! (oooh i love how both spoilery and non spoilery that is!). and then what happens with the second address! ahh! it makes sense now!!! and well, the third...lol

THIS WAS AN AWESOME READ!!!!!! 
er, listen to!

this one was definitely all about the journey even though i did want to quit half way because once it ends you're like really? but overall, im glad i stuck this one out. 

i wish i would have taken more detailed notes. 
this story ends a mess but it has lots of good in there. 
fuck it, this book is brought to you by the word juxtaposition.
ahhh!!!!!!



SPOILERS
Sam and elli, twins, were nickelodeon stars and even tho Sam loved it elli hated every second of it. she wished to live more of a normal life. Sam became a party girl.

Part 1 is told thru Sam and she talks about how they blew up and how her life went to shit. 
It's been a year and she hasn't talked to Elli

part 2 is told thru elli and then we learn about the rest of the puzzle pieces and how they fit together. 

in pt 1 Sam goes back home to help their mother with ellis kid since she's been gone at a women's retreat for a while. Sam starts asking, she finds out that Elli is in GenFem em and so she starts to look for her. 

Blah blah blah

Sam finds 3 addresses at ellis house and decides to go loook for her sister at all 3 of the addresses (2 in CA and 1 in AZ) but it turns out they were just "regular" addresses. Sam leaves a note at house 2 but they call her back hysterical asking her to leave them alone.  (once elli's part comes around it makes sense why they called her hysterically telling sam to leave them alone - it was supposed to be a closed adoption).

Anyway -

It turns out elli had wanted to get pregnant but couldn't, she told Sam and Sam instead of being like oh shit me too then, sam decides to tell her sister that she's actually sold her eggs on the shady market where they looked past her addiction. Elli gets mad, sam ends up at a bar, goes back home drunk af and tries to sleep with Ellis husband thinking "this is how ill give my sister a baby!"
elli kicks her out and they don't talk. 

GenFem is like a women's "power movement". They're a cult. They brainwash Elli into thinking they're there for her and they basically convince her to tell Chuck, her husband, that's its her way or the highway; that foo is in Japan. 😂

Anyway, GenFem basically pushes elli to "invest" all of her money in to GenFem, throw her life away and kidnap a kid. Yep, ellis daughter isn't hers. Charlotte is actually Sam's "daughter".

*REWIND* 

the list with 3 addresses that Sam found were the addresses of the donor recipients. some crazy bitch at GenFem convinces elli that in order for her to get over the baby drama sense in a way she needs to go have a look see at all the kids herself. no luck house 1, house 2 they get caught by a teen and in house 3 they see Emma Gonzalez which they then kidnap when grama gets the shits (im not kidding!) and goes to the bathroom leaving her in the yard alone. 

the whole point of GenFem is to get women to commit crimes and then write out confessions of these crimes under the guise that they will feel better once they express their feelings about taking back what's theirs. Dr. Cindy, the one that runs the whole thing, tells them that they need to write their feels to feel better and that they will then have a burning ceremony once they turn in the cards (they also need to do this in order to move to level 8 so everyone in this facility where Sam breaks in to save Elli has committed a crime) except they never ever burn the cards. 

anyway, in the end elli is aware that she is in a cult and we are made to think that sam was the one "manipulating" everything but elli actually had lots of game too. 
they manage to leave the cult facility simply by walking out (because Dr. Cindy was so sure she had her in the palm of her hands). while sam was pretending to be elli, elli went to pack and steal Dr. Cindys laptop along with all of the folders of the women who were there. 

they end up driving to Arizona to return Emma (who went by Charlotte) which sam does by sneaking thru the back, knocking on the door, running away and never getting caught. 

and then yeah 

they end up living together and for the most part sam is now basically taking over elli's flower shop....

.....and das sorta it. 
of course i left a lot out but thats the gist of it!

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