I wonder why it is that we fall in love with some people and not others, even when we wish we could.
pages: 368
read: 4/8-10/2020
book: 30 in 2020
SYNOPSIS
Lydia and Freddie. Freddie and Lydia. They'd been together for more than a decade, and Lydia thought their love was indestructible.
But she was wrong. On her twenty-eighth birthday, Freddie died in a car accident.
So now it's just Lydia, and all she wants to do is hide indoors and sob until her eyes fall out. But Lydia knows that Freddie would want her to try to live fully, happily, even without him. So, enlisting the help of his best friend, Jonah, and her sister, Elle, she takes her first tentative steps into the world, open to life--and perhaps even love--again.
But then something inexplicable happens that gives her another chance at her old life with Freddie. A life where none of the tragic events of the past few months have happened.
Lydia is pulled again and again across the doorway of her past, living two lives, impossibly, at once. But there's an emotional toll to returning to a world where Freddie, alive, still owns her heart. Because there's someone in her new life, her real life, who wants her to stay
THOUGHTS
SHORT VERSION
eh.
kinda bummed that I used a BOTM credit for this one.
But she was wrong. On her twenty-eighth birthday, Freddie died in a car accident.
So now it's just Lydia, and all she wants to do is hide indoors and sob until her eyes fall out. But Lydia knows that Freddie would want her to try to live fully, happily, even without him. So, enlisting the help of his best friend, Jonah, and her sister, Elle, she takes her first tentative steps into the world, open to life--and perhaps even love--again.
But then something inexplicable happens that gives her another chance at her old life with Freddie. A life where none of the tragic events of the past few months have happened.
Lydia is pulled again and again across the doorway of her past, living two lives, impossibly, at once. But there's an emotional toll to returning to a world where Freddie, alive, still owns her heart. Because there's someone in her new life, her real life, who wants her to stay
THOUGHTS
SHORT VERSION
eh.
kinda bummed that I used a BOTM credit for this one.
I should've listen to the 2 other people who told me to be wild with my choice instead because there was another book i now regret not getting.
LONG VERSION 🙄😒
I wanted to read this one since I started seeing ARC's popping around all over bookstagram because I liked the synopsis. kinda gave me The Diner List vibes.
so when I saw that it was a BOTM pick i was like fuck yea!
AND THEN I saw that audible has this 1 month 2 credits for free deal so I jumped on it (AND THEN I found out you can basically swap books out and get your credit back.....). so yea, I saw that and decided to listen to this read (a lot of my reads are currently audio rn) and I made it 16 pages before I decided "FUCK THIS." I loved the narrator's voice but I just couldn't stand it for this book and i wasnt going to endure it for 9ish hours (i forgot how long the book was audio wise) so I gave it up. And tbh, i was going to put this book back down and pick something else up...but I didn't want to DNF this and then have to start over (even though I wasn't really DNF'ing it, more like just setting it down to pick it back up later)....so when I got home, I sat my ass down and made myself read it and whatdaya know? I read like 220 pages.
buuuut i wouldn't say that speaks volumes.
I couldve lived without ever having read this.
Ima say the one thing that I haven't really seen anyone else say: Freddie is a bag of dicks. he was just such a fucking dick. to me. but it takes two to tango so a bit of the blame also falls on Lydia.
bit of a spoiler but it was his own damn mothafuckin' fault.
Idk if it was the first 16 pages as audio or idk or whatever, but those first 16 pages just soured me for the entire book. I think it also has to do with the fact that we're sold a love story and in my head Freddie was going to be this amazing guy who TRULY was in the wrong place at the wrong time but he turned out to be a dick.
not always I'm sure. but a lot in this book is about how it's always his way and how much Lyds lost herself to be in his orbit.
And a lot of this story just doesn't connect.
You were really with Freddy for like 15 years and you never got a long with his mom? (I understand this is a 100% possible but it just doesn't make sense in this book)
why talk about Jonas' past when he was a kid if it literally plays no part in the story other than he forged a friendship with Freddie? Which makes even less sense when you take into consideration that he was friends with Lyds first!
And that ending.
Tbh, I didnt see it. And then I read the last chapter and i was like "oh." How did I not know it was going to end that way?
...and then I kept reading and in one of the flashbacks it starts planting a little seed and I was like "I guess this is how it starts." and honestly, idk. I wouldve preferred any other ending than what we got.
It just seems like such an easy way out.
Overall, I'm just glad I never have to pick this back up again. I finished the rest of it in one sitting because I didnt want to start another day knowing that I had to continue reading this story.
LONG VERSION 🙄😒
I wanted to read this one since I started seeing ARC's popping around all over bookstagram because I liked the synopsis. kinda gave me The Diner List vibes.
so when I saw that it was a BOTM pick i was like fuck yea!
AND THEN I saw that audible has this 1 month 2 credits for free deal so I jumped on it (AND THEN I found out you can basically swap books out and get your credit back.....). so yea, I saw that and decided to listen to this read (a lot of my reads are currently audio rn) and I made it 16 pages before I decided "FUCK THIS." I loved the narrator's voice but I just couldn't stand it for this book and i wasnt going to endure it for 9ish hours (i forgot how long the book was audio wise) so I gave it up. And tbh, i was going to put this book back down and pick something else up...but I didn't want to DNF this and then have to start over (even though I wasn't really DNF'ing it, more like just setting it down to pick it back up later)....so when I got home, I sat my ass down and made myself read it and whatdaya know? I read like 220 pages.
buuuut i wouldn't say that speaks volumes.
I couldve lived without ever having read this.
Ima say the one thing that I haven't really seen anyone else say: Freddie is a bag of dicks. he was just such a fucking dick. to me. but it takes two to tango so a bit of the blame also falls on Lydia.
bit of a spoiler but it was his own damn mothafuckin' fault.
Idk if it was the first 16 pages as audio or idk or whatever, but those first 16 pages just soured me for the entire book. I think it also has to do with the fact that we're sold a love story and in my head Freddie was going to be this amazing guy who TRULY was in the wrong place at the wrong time but he turned out to be a dick.
not always I'm sure. but a lot in this book is about how it's always his way and how much Lyds lost herself to be in his orbit.
And a lot of this story just doesn't connect.
You were really with Freddy for like 15 years and you never got a long with his mom? (I understand this is a 100% possible but it just doesn't make sense in this book)
why talk about Jonas' past when he was a kid if it literally plays no part in the story other than he forged a friendship with Freddie? Which makes even less sense when you take into consideration that he was friends with Lyds first!
And that ending.
Tbh, I didnt see it. And then I read the last chapter and i was like "oh." How did I not know it was going to end that way?
...and then I kept reading and in one of the flashbacks it starts planting a little seed and I was like "I guess this is how it starts." and honestly, idk. I wouldve preferred any other ending than what we got.
It just seems like such an easy way out.
Overall, I'm just glad I never have to pick this back up again. I finished the rest of it in one sitting because I didnt want to start another day knowing that I had to continue reading this story.
thx for reading!
jump over for spoilers
SPOILERS
jump over for spoilers
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I HONESTLY HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHATS GOING ON WITH BLOGGER AND WHY MY USUAL FONT WON'T WORK BUT IM SURE AS HELL NOT GOING TO WASTE ANY MORE TIME ON THAT SO...SORRY 'BOUT THAT BUT FUCK THAT, THIS POST AND THIS BOOK :D
SPOILERS
SHORT VERSION
Freddie dies in the car crash because he thought he was untouchable and not paying attention.
Lydia and Joe Jonas end up together after shitting all over everything.
tbh, Joe Jonas should have just told her and we could have all avoided this damn story existing.
LONG VERSIONFreddy passes away due to a car crash.
Lydia thinks it's due to black ice but in reality, he was hauling ass, not paying attention to the road and fumbling with the radio.
Tbh, it was all his doing. Sounds fucked up to say but it's the truth.
She learns about this when she meets with John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt, whatever his Joe Jonas name is (his name is Jonah Jones) at a grief counseling group he invited her to.
(What the f happens to Maud?! 100% would read a whole ass story about her.)
The doctor gives her pills because she ain't sleeping so when she passes out, she goes into an alternate world where he still lives.
In that world (she visits infrequently-ish once time passes) he's still alive and they still get married. in the real world as she is asleep dreaming of herself in her wedding, she gets a call from her sister who is very well on her way to give birth. The phone wakes her up as shes saying her vows.
She goes to her sister, delivers the baby because 911 hasn't arrived and stays there until David, Elle's (she is Lyds sister) husband arrives.
She goes home finally after helping her sister, packs a bags and ends up in Croatia after a quick decision to leave on vacation. She ends up leaving for 2 months and comes back a new woman.
While she is in Croatia, she takes another pill and arrives in the other world on their honeymoon. They're in New York, she missed their "first" night or lands in the middle of it and learns that the next day, Freddie is taking her to have breakfast at Tiffany's and then to see wicked on Broadway.
The next day, she gets out the shower and Freddie is on the phone pissed because he has to fly to LA for work, literally leaving her in NYC all by herself on their honeymoon. Work didn't require it, he's just going because he's a competitive asshole and it's more important to him.
Anyway, blah, blah, blah. I'm leaving out a lot....
The moral of the story is that Joe Jonas was in love with Lydia but Freddie snatched her up. (JJ never said anything so, tbh, in my opinion, das on him.)
And even tho they were both friends before Freddie ever came along, he got in between them and then in turn,they both battled against each other for Freddie's attention.
Joe Jonas of course is also dealing with everything and is apparently this super talented artist so his method of mourning was writing a script that got picked up to become a movie. He's in LA getting his shit together.
Lyds & JJ kinda left on bad-ish terms but little by little they become friends and in the end of it all, they end up together. (assuming because he shows up at her job and finally kisses her after telling her all this sweet shit).
...and that's the super short, all over version because I just don't give a fuck about this story anymore and I'm over it.
Kthxbyye!
Lydia thinks it's due to black ice but in reality, he was hauling ass, not paying attention to the road and fumbling with the radio.
Tbh, it was all his doing. Sounds fucked up to say but it's the truth.
She learns about this when she meets with John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt, whatever his Joe Jonas name is (his name is Jonah Jones) at a grief counseling group he invited her to.
(What the f happens to Maud?! 100% would read a whole ass story about her.)
The doctor gives her pills because she ain't sleeping so when she passes out, she goes into an alternate world where he still lives.
In that world (she visits infrequently-ish once time passes) he's still alive and they still get married. in the real world as she is asleep dreaming of herself in her wedding, she gets a call from her sister who is very well on her way to give birth. The phone wakes her up as shes saying her vows.
She goes to her sister, delivers the baby because 911 hasn't arrived and stays there until David, Elle's (she is Lyds sister) husband arrives.
She goes home finally after helping her sister, packs a bags and ends up in Croatia after a quick decision to leave on vacation. She ends up leaving for 2 months and comes back a new woman.
While she is in Croatia, she takes another pill and arrives in the other world on their honeymoon. They're in New York, she missed their "first" night or lands in the middle of it and learns that the next day, Freddie is taking her to have breakfast at Tiffany's and then to see wicked on Broadway.
The next day, she gets out the shower and Freddie is on the phone pissed because he has to fly to LA for work, literally leaving her in NYC all by herself on their honeymoon. Work didn't require it, he's just going because he's a competitive asshole and it's more important to him.
Anyway, blah, blah, blah. I'm leaving out a lot....
The moral of the story is that Joe Jonas was in love with Lydia but Freddie snatched her up. (JJ never said anything so, tbh, in my opinion, das on him.)
And even tho they were both friends before Freddie ever came along, he got in between them and then in turn,they both battled against each other for Freddie's attention.
Joe Jonas of course is also dealing with everything and is apparently this super talented artist so his method of mourning was writing a script that got picked up to become a movie. He's in LA getting his shit together.
Lyds & JJ kinda left on bad-ish terms but little by little they become friends and in the end of it all, they end up together. (assuming because he shows up at her job and finally kisses her after telling her all this sweet shit).
...and that's the super short, all over version because I just don't give a fuck about this story anymore and I'm over it.
Kthxbyye!
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this review. I was considering whether I should read it. Your review swayed my decision.
ReplyDeletethank you so much for stopping by! <3 it means a lot!
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