things you save in a fire // katherine center

published: 2019

pages: 310

read: 9/14-18/2019

book: 55 in 2019

that's the thing I always love best about the human race: how we pick ourselves back up over and over and just keep going.  

SYNOPSIS 

Cassie Hanwell was born for emergencies. As one of the only female firefighters in her Texas firehouse, she’s seen her fair share of them, and she’s a total pro at other people’s tragedies. But when her estranged and ailing mother asks her to give up her whole life and move to Boston, Cassie suddenly has an emergency of her own.

The tough, old-school Boston firehouse is as different from Cassie’s old job as it could possibly be. Hazing, a lack of funding, and poor facilities mean that the firemen aren’t exactly thrilled to have a “lady” on the crew—even one as competent and smart as Cassie. Except for the infatuation-inspiring rookie, who doesn’t seem to mind having Cassie around. But she can’t think about that. Because love is girly, and it’s not her thing. And don’t forget the advice her old captain gave her: Never date firefighters. Cassie can feel her resolve slipping . . . and it means risking everything—the only job she’s ever loved and the hero she’s worked like hell to become.

MY THOUGHTS

SHORT VERSION

100,000 times yes! i love this book SO MUCH! 

LONG VERSION

This is one of those stories that I love because of what the stories says to me and how I'm making a connection to it personally vs what it's just trying to say in general to all of us.

This one was so good!!!!

2019 has had some woof's but man has it given me a lot of books to love and this one has just made the latter.

I didn't know what to expect from this book.

I've never heard of this author and even though I've been burned before (no pun intended) with IG books, I'm so glad that I still listened to myself and checked this one out and I'm even more glad that it turned out to be so goooooood!!!!!!!

I'm still trying to decide if this is a story told by Cassie from the future as like a look back vs just a story as its happening but I honestly think its the former if not a bit of both. Because there's time where I catch her talking about "now that I look back then...." kinda deal but then she goes back to an in the moment story telling kind of point of view.

I love this story because it sets up a perfect example of how only having one side of the story, can ruin a relationship. How it can affect you as a human and how it can affect the decisions you make into adulthood. 

Let's get this out of the way: I loved her mother, Diana. So I guess its safe to say how her story arch ends up, but I do wonder if after the circumstances, couldn't she have found a way to explain her side of the story? i don't think she should have had to wait so long to explain her side of the story. ..but then again maybe she also had her own things to work out before she could make that move? idk, all of the possibilities! 

when we're little, they're everything - the gods and goddesses that rule our worlds. it takes a lot of growing up, and a lot of disappointment, to accept that they're just normal, bumbling, mistaken humans, like everybody else.  

Of course, we learn that it wasn't just Diana's decision that caused a cosmic shift in Cassie. (I wont spoil that here but it does become pretty evident in the story) but you can see how one leads to another that leads to all of Cassie's life choices. 

i love how Cassie is such a tough ass but you can see her start crack little by little. 

i love how this book is set up to show you how one reaction leads to all of these situations that would have never happened otherwise. 

i love that they both have a chance to reconnect and learn each other once again and how it just gave Cassie all that she needed to become the person that she was meant to be. 

...and the Rookie!!!
OMG! i have fallen in love with him myself! 

this guy! 

what wasn't there to love about that guy! 

ahhh! 

i felt all sorts of emotions reading this book. 

i am so glad i read it. i cant wait to re-read it. 

i loved it so much i bought it right away. 

...but also please note all the notes and highlights i took!

gah!, this one was great <3

im so thankful for this book.

the answer wasnt to never love anyone. it was to love like crazy whenever you could.  

jump on over for spoilers!

thanks for reading!

#bookslesreads on IG 

SPOILERS

Cassie moves to Lilian because her mother has had her eye removed because her vision has gone bad. 

in reality, she moves to Lilian because she earns an award but she beat shit out of the dude, Heath Thompson, who presented her with the award. 

she beat him because he grabbed her ass as they were taking a picture. 

besides the fact that that's rude as fuck!, why else did she do it? 

they have history. 

her mom lives in Lilian because she moved there on the night of Cassie's 16th birthday. she moved because she met a man, Wallace, that she fell in love with. she had been married to Cassie's father but she wasn't IN LOVE with him and when she met Wallace, she finally knew what it was to be in love. 

Diana was going to tell them. she was going to wait for Cas to go off to college in 2 years but that's when she got the news that Wallace only had 2 years to live. 

and the date of Cassie's bday was the day he had to go into surgery. 

D tried to hold it off as much as possible. but eventually left. (cassie later learns that about half way there, she was going to turn around and go back home but Wallace called her back and she couldn't not go.) 

now, years later (10 i believe) she needs Cassie because she lost her eye vision and cant get around. 

cassie finally goes because even though her actions towards Heath were justified, she either had to apologize to him....or get fired. 

she couldn't apologize. 

she asks for a transfer. 

her boss gives her a list of rules to follow because where she is going, is not woman FF friendly. 

so off she goes. 

....and to make this short, she realizes that she's had it somewhat wrong. 

1) Diana didn't just lose her vision. she has terminal cancer. Diana didn't want Cassie to see her eye because she would know right away. she doesn't find out until Diana suffers from a ...ahhh! whats the word!!!! she passes out! i cant think of it. A STROKE!!!! 

-Diana has decided that she does not want chemotherapy. 

2) Cassie learns finally why her mother left and how even though she seemed stoic, she in fact was not.  and they eventually do get close to each other. 

---

in the story: 

-someone writes slut in her locker

-slashes her tires

-throws a brick through her moms kitchen window. 

they basically want her out of the station!

----

the rookie is there because his father is this great firefighter in Boston and he is following in his father's footsteps. 

the rookie and Cassie both start on the same day. 

of course they have an instant connection but they don't act on it for a while. 

all in all, there are budget cuts being made and so they need to let go of 2 firefighters. 

one is an older one near retirement but another has to be one with the shortest seniority. which means its the rookie or cassie. and while cassie knows, every one knows, that cassie is the best choice to keep, she is also very aware that because she is a woman she will most likely be the one to go. 

so she keeps having to consistently prove herself. 

THEN!!!!

there is this crazy ass fire and they arrive on the scene. 

her, the rookie, and De Santos (an older FF who got messed up a while ago) are told to stay upfront while the rest go to the back to see if they can get in that way (this is an older building with no way to get in but the front or back). 

the rookie's job is crowd control, i believe she is radioing, and De Santos walks around the building to make sure that no one is in there or just to IDK walk around and surveil the area. 

all of a sudden DS comes running talking about how he saw a kid in there and they need to go in. 

Cassie KNOWS there's no one in there. the fire had been going on since about 4 am or something...so why would there be a lonesome kid in there? 

she keeps reiterating that the captains orders were NOT TO GO IN until further notice but DS starts talking about how they HAVE TO GO IN due to civilian duty or something like that. 

he gets all crazy about it. so he decides fuck you, ill take the rookie. at this point, they had finally slept together (the night before) so she was even more reluctant. so they go and because she cant let it happen, she goes in too. 

its bad. they shouldn't be in there at all. 

shit hits the fan, the rookie get cyanide poisoning (i think) and while she's trying to find him, the ceiling collapses on them. 

she manages to find him and drags him out. DS had fallen elsewhere and she told him to stay that she would get to him shortly. 

they all manage to get out and the rookie is in bad shape. 

paramedics show up but of course they're flustered and this is where she shines so she takes over and saves his life basically. 

{fast forward to the hospital in Boston} 

she shows up to see him and everyone is pissed at her. 

the captain pulls her aside and lets her know that DS turned in his report and in it, he states that everything that went wrong is her fault. 

she was the one that insisted they go in. 

she was the one that put the rookie's life on the line. 

she was the one that "saw" the kid; insisted there was a kid. 

she was the one that refused to leave when shit hit the fan. 

he was the one that said absolutely no. 

he was the one that had tied the hose to the pole. 

he was the one that rescued the rookie. 

he was the one the she disobeyed. 

so you can imagine how she feels. 

but she doesn't fight it. 

she sets the record straight but who are they going to believe? the seasoned vet? or the newbie woman FF? 

days pass, she takes Diana to her doc's appointment and to their amazement,the tumor has stopped growing. 

Cass & Diana are talking about medication when Diana says she doesn't want to take any because it alters everything about a person. 

and that's when it hits Cassie, DS is on a lot of pain killers and a shit load of other medicine. (for the record cause i didn't mention it earlier: De Santos's son was killed in a drunk driver situation. except that in this situation his son, Tony, was the drunk driver. shortly after his wife left him and somewhere in there, he had a bad accident on the job that left him on hella pain killers) 

so she goes to his house with a thermos of soup to basically just talk to him. (she has learned about forgiveness from Diana so she's practicing that). when she arrives she notices that his home is a mess. and then! she notices him on a lazy boy i believe, passed out with pills all around him and a letter on the table that states I'M SORRY. she runs to her truck to get that thing that they inject you with to reverse any drug overdoses and she saves his life. 

by now, she knows it was DS that was being a dick to her the whole time. 

and she rips into him. 

but she also finally tells him the story of Heath Thompson. 

she explains to him that the whole slut thing in the locker is so old and already been done. 

the night her mother left, Heath texted her about a party. 

she goes and they hang out. he keeps handing her drinks and then tells her he'll walk her home and instead takes her to the back of the garage. 

she's drunk and drugged so she just think he's also drunk when he turns her around and shoves her face into a puddle of mud and starts raping her.   

of course the next day, he tells everyone the opposite and of course that's where the locker thing came from. 

she never tells anyone. 

finally then and there, she takes DS into rehab. 

for weeks shes in a loop of hanging out with Diana & Josie, running and sleeping.

the rookie finally wakes up and clears up her name. (how shitty that they didn't believe her but believe him!!!) 

one day she wakes up, walks downstairs and sees the guys cleaning and preparing the kitchen window and the capt having coffee with her mom. 

they are there to take her to the hospital to see the rookie. 

the capt explains that the rookie corroborated her story and states that it was all DS's doing. ...he also lets her know that DS called and cleared it all up from rehab. 

she gets to the hospital and the rookie's mother throws a fit and tells the capt that he never wants to see her but then the capt tells her that if it were not for Cassie, her son would not be alive. that she is the reason he is alive. this was all DS's doing. 

his mom goes up to her and hugs her thanking her for her actions. (i can understand the anger, but AUGH! this part pissed me off. fuck the mom!) 

Cassie goes to the rookie and he proposes to her with an apple sauce aluminum ring <3. 

they wait a year. 

they marry in a year and have 2 kids. 

the cancer eventually continued to grow and they lost Diana before their first child was born. although, she was the first to know. even before Cassie. 

and as Diana has stated, she left her home to her and she and the rookie end up living there with their children. 

they sold the left over pottery that Diana had, they saved some for themselves, and with the studio space they had now, the rookie turned into a little restaurant. (i didn't mention this earlier but its his passion to cook!) 

De Santos helps out in the summer when its super busy. 

he also joined an abused woman's organization to better himself and help out and as a way to seek forgiveness i guess. 

he ends up dating the main lady and is now a bit more tolerable. 

as for Heath.....he ends up in jail. 

....for tax fraud.....but women come out of the woodwork and accuse him of rape. 

Cassie never followed it and never came clean about him because well, if anyone remembers her fucking him up, they now know why. 

but she speaks about her rape story in volunteer situations that help those who have suffered that trauma. 

...and so yea. 

she is still a firefighter 2 days a week, 24 hrs days. 

the rookie and her marry, have kids, and he has his restaurant 

and he loves her with so much unconditional love that she can't believe she ever rejected the notion of love. 

phew! that was a lot. of course there is still lots i left out but that was the gist of it. 

thanks for reading all that if ya did!