pub: 2020
pages: 306
read: 10/10-11/2020
book: 80 (!) in 2020
When a Nigerian woman falls for a man she knows will break her mother’s heart, she must choose between love and her family.
At twelve years old, Azere promised her dying father she would marry a Nigerian man and preserve her culture even after emigrating to Canada. Her mother has been vigilant about helping--forcing--her to stay well within the Nigerian dating pool ever since. But when another match-made-by-mom goes wrong, Azere ends up at a bar, enjoying the company and later sharing the bed of Rafael Castellano, a man who is tall, handsome, and white.
When their one-night stand unexpectedly evolves into something serious, Azere is caught between her growing feelings for Rafael and the compulsive need to please her mother who will never accept a relationship that threatens to dilute Azere's Nigerian heritage.
Azere can't help wondering if loving Rafael makes her any less of a Nigerian. Can she be with him without compromising her identity? The answer will either cause Azere to be audacious and fight for her happiness or continue as the compliant daughter.
At twelve years old, Azere promised her dying father she would marry a Nigerian man and preserve her culture even after emigrating to Canada. Her mother has been vigilant about helping--forcing--her to stay well within the Nigerian dating pool ever since. But when another match-made-by-mom goes wrong, Azere ends up at a bar, enjoying the company and later sharing the bed of Rafael Castellano, a man who is tall, handsome, and white.
When their one-night stand unexpectedly evolves into something serious, Azere is caught between her growing feelings for Rafael and the compulsive need to please her mother who will never accept a relationship that threatens to dilute Azere's Nigerian heritage.
Azere can't help wondering if loving Rafael makes her any less of a Nigerian. Can she be with him without compromising her identity? The answer will either cause Azere to be audacious and fight for her happiness or continue as the compliant daughter.
THOUGHTS
I LOVED THIS GODDAMN BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is probably the book my heart was waiting for this year.
thanks baby jesus for BOTM (yea i know they really fucked up).....because if it wasnt for them i would have never came across this book (it just came out and ive only seen it ONCE on bookstagram!) and also, that cover😍! thats one of the main reasons i chose this book.
im going to say this and i know its going to sound messed up BUT this book did in chapter 1 what party of two was trying to do itself. (i know...but that's how i feel.)
the whole 'met in a hotel' spiel was done SO WELL here that i was hooked from the very first chapter; i ate this book up in just a few hours (honestly, had i just sat down i would've finished it faster!) and once i was done i found myself missing Azere & Rafael. this book also had me all in my feels.
i was SO freaking mad at her mom! i kept wishing that Azere would just tell her mom to fuck off (i know! super disrespectful!) but if you ever read this book, you'd understand. i just couldn't comprehend how her mother kept pushing men on her no matter how bad they were.
women are more than just vessels to a new life and more than subjects to men!
that shit irritated me to no end!
😠😡🤬
just thinking about it gets me mad. (you should see all of the notes i made!)
i was mad that Azere would just take it all. i still wish she'd would have stepped it up a bit more. i mean in the end it all works out but ahhh!!!
it also irked me a bit that she kept calling her mom mommy. (but that's just me).
Rafael & Azere!
their meeting!, their re-encounter!, that twist! their truths! and their ending! ahh!!
their entire story had me swooning.
it wasnt just some superficial love story. there was depth to both of them and i really liked that. he has a past, she has her African heritage...it makes for so much more than an on the surface love story.
in the end, it all works out how its supposed to and i loved it. there is a bit of a WTF twist that left me all fucked up but it works out the way its supposed to.
i think the only thing that i was kinda like "why?" over was the mention of Rafael being uber rich. maybe it was said as a way to explain some things...idk? i mean, its mentioned and its talked about very briefly afterward but.......what was the point?
to me it kinda came off as a way to justify that a Spanish man in the end ends up....(having a hard time wording this here) like "hey, he's not Edo but he has money so we should be good anyway." idk...do i make sense?
anyway, i really liked this read. im so glad i chose it. and that i dove in right away.
this is the kinda book i can see myself re-reading and im just hoping i forget enough that i can be blown away the second time around just like i was this time.
jump over for spoilers.
*sorry for typos! i either post or overanalyze because i then start doubting everything! eek!* thank you sooo much for reading!!! love you lots!
SPOILERS
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Rafael goes up to Azere after he sees her pounding back her drinks. they talk and he learns that she's there because she had just left a very bad date and she learns that he's there on because of a job interview. they talk, they click, they go back to his room to hook up. the next morning she is gone.
a month passes.
Azere is in a meeting when they introduce the new hire and low and behold, its Rafael.
the sexual tension goes back and forth but they agree to just be coworkers....except its never that easy.
in the background, her mom is still trying to set her up and manages to set her up with Elijah. who happens to be the first person that Azere fell in love with. which would have been amazing because he is an Edo man and a doctor except that he is the guy who took her virginity and then ghosted her. (quick note: when she was 12, her father was in the hospital dying and he made her promise that she would marry an Edo man and continue their heritage. she must avoid the white man...she was holding up her end of the deal until the night that she met Rafael.)
anyway because i am all over the place at this point and i just wana type and move on, her mother invites Elijah over to her house to eat and Azere shows up and she's all wtf! but tells him to leave because it turns out that she's pregnant (and yes, its Rafaels.)
her mother keeps insisting that Elijah is a good man & probably still a virgin just like she was (lol!) so she needs to stfu and stop being picky. she's 30 (?) she's past that stage.
even though Azere & Rafael agree to keep it casual, they still hook up.
ah! even though Azere told Elijah to get lost he still keeps coming around and trying to take her out. she eventually just gives in, decide to go to lunch and walk to the elevator when low and behold, they walk into Rafael. of course he's bothered by it but what can he do? Azere ends up NOT going out with Elijah and instead reconciles with Rafael and they end up doing the whole dating thing. by this point she knows she's pregnant but has yet to tell Rafael.
after their date, they go back have amazing sex and she wakes up in the morning to severe morning sickness. of course Rafa tries to be there for her but she tells him that she will call him back when she gets back from her mothers house because she needs to go cut her grass. lol. but of course, Rafa is TOO much of a gentleman to let her do that SO HE GOES TO HER MOMS HOUSE TO CUT THE GRASS!!!!!!!!!!!!
she manages to get up from the bathroom and goes to sleep on her bed only to wake up to a phone call from her mom talking bout "where the fuck you get a white man to come cut my grass?" lmaoooo. Azere is all wtf and races over to the house.
she gets there to Rafa being almost done and she's all wtf and its even better because her uncle and cousin asked him to stay for a bbq. its made even better by the fact that once again, Elijah stops by (and the neighbor kid that she used to babysit that wont leave her alone lol). anyway, it gets to be too much so she passes out and wakes up in the hospital; she's not eating well and her levels are low it turns out. of course she hadn't told anyone (other than her cousin....and now that i think of it, where tf was her sister? was she there?) anyway, so that's how her mom finds out. and boy does she throw a fit. even more so when she finds out that the father is none other than the "gardener", Rafael. lol. (mom was still trying to think it was Elijah's -_____-)
anyway, so its out.
her mom tells her that Elijah is willing still to date her and claim the baby as his and Azere is all wtf but in the end she chooses Rafael.
and its going good but she is still keeping him at arms length. he asks her to move in and she thinks thats too fast....
things are going good until his parents come over one day and Rafa's mom starts talking about naming the kid after their heritage and how they're going to be in italy ever summer and all this other shit. of course Azere is upset.
her best friend Christina also throws her a baby shower (actually this happened before the above!) and of course she is also upset because her mother did not show up.
all in all, Azere ends up breaking up with Rafa because he was being all suspicious.
.....which he was....but ill come back to that.
her mother told her that if she chose Rafael that she could consider herself motherless so of course she feels like shit but she finally stands up for herself ONLY to end up going back to her mom and bending to her rules which also include given Elijah ANOTHER chance.
its all going "well" until Azere goes to her moms house only to find her mother fucking around with her uncle!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (this has been going on for a year!) (also...when her father passed away, his brother took in his wife and two daughters so the uncle is kinda like another father to her but still!)
so this happens and FINALLY Azere stands up for herself and sees how her mother was manipulating her into keeping the promise that she made to her father even if it comes at a cost to her. (this entire scene fucked me up!) Azere finally sees how her own mother has been using her this entire time. she even has the audacity to say that she's done her job in mourning her husband but that its time to move on. like come the fuck on!
so yea that happens.
Christina invites Azere on a babymoon per se to get her minds off things to only trick her into going on a getaway with her parents who happen to be a biracial couple. they eventually talk some sense into her and she finally sees that she is supposed to be with Rafael.
a bunch of shit happens in here.
in the end, they have a baby girl (i think) and the mom comes around (its not like she can set any type of boundaries!)
the epilogue is 5 years later, they are pregnant with another child and her mom married her uncle.
there's a shit load i left out and im sure i told a lot of it backwards but here were are.
i really liked this story. ill probably do a better, cleaner post if i re-read it sometime in the future :D
oooh!!! rafael's "secret" was that he was married before but he lost both his wife and son. they were on a vacation and they were set to go home. she wanted to stay because there was a really bad storm but he assured her that they would make it home safe. except that, they didn't. there was an accident and his wife and child passed. she was days away from giving birth. (i liked how the storm scene in the beginning between Azere and Rafael took place now that i know this because it was her caring for him!)
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