published: 2019
pages: 322read: 1/9-12/2020
book: 2 in 2020
it struck her then that the two of them were crouched between a church and a police station - two places of confession - and that for whatever reasons, they'd chosen each other instead.
pg 40
SYNOPSIS
Best friends are forged by fire. For Winona Olsen and Lucille Pryce, that fire happened the night they met outside the police station—both deciding whether to turn their families in.
Winona has been starving for life in the seemingly perfect home that she shares with her seemingly perfect father, celebrity weatherman Stormy Olsen. No one knows that he locks the pantry door to control her eating and leaves bruises where no one can see them.
Lucille has been suffocating beneath the needs of her mother and her drug-dealing brother, wondering if there’s more out there for her than disappearing waitress tips and generations of barely getting by.
One harrowing night, Winona and Lucille realize they can’t wait until graduation to start their new lives. They need out. Now. All they need is three grand, fast. And really, a stolen convertible to take them from Michigan to Las Vegas can’t hurt.
MY THOUGHTS
I guess I'm better at writing my thoughts out on the notes app on my phone than vs on the computer because I was just looking back at what I wrote and I wasn't super happy with it so I had to have a do over.
let's make this as easy and quick as possible.
(that's what she said)
S O
I knew of this book since its release because I LOVE EH but if I'm being honest nothing about it called me to read it asap. and it wasn't until I got a b&n gift card that I was looking to use that it finally called my name.
A N D
overall, I liked it.
I think.
I don't know.
I know I don't hate it, I'm okay having read it and I'm not even mad I spent money on this book.
but if I'm being honest, this was a bit of a heavy read and looking back on it now, it just all seems implausible. like too many things seem a bit far fetched which i dont even care about but its been a few days and i still have questions that ill never get answers to.
how? what questions?
well, it states above how Win & her dad don't really get along. but its not til you're in it that you learn just how dark and fucked up to her her dad actually is. those scenes were hard for me to get through and honestly this book made my heart hurt.
it made me anxious and there are parts where I just glossed over the pages. I read what they said I just didn't let them sink in.
(and yes, I am very aware that there are way more emotionally heavier books out there but if you've followed me a while, you can clearly see i either read cute, fluffy shit or mystery thriller. nothing heavy. this was out of my reading norm.)
I was sad that Win was so broken as a person because of her dad. and I don't just mean the physical but more the emotional abuse. like she wasn't even a person. ....there's another piece to that puzzle but i wont spoil it here. I just felt for her.
then there's Luce.
and she broke me even more because here she was giving her everything to her mother and brother and her brother was a piece of shit and her mother instead of appreciating her, just fucked her over even more.
why is it that her mother favored her brother Marcus who did nothing over her who worked her ass off to provide as much as she could to keep them all going?
is it because maybe on the side Marcus was giving her money? and as a drug dealer wouldn't he obvs be able to give her more? because their father left when Luce was born and she blames her for it? I don't recall if they are siblings with the same parents but I don't remember otherwise.
i would have just like to have known where that stems from.
I don't know.
but I gotta admit, i did like the relationship between Win & Luce. it left me wanting a best friend so deeply. and even if at points they weren't being honest with each other, I still liked their bond. they manage to be there for each other when they need it and they don't judge.
i loved the friendship aspect of this story.
THAT BEING SAID....
this book to me is not without its flaws. at least personally for me.
yes the point of the story is for the girls to get out of town asap BUT I feel like this story left a lot of questions.
so sorry if there are some spoilers but:
- why was Wins grandpa insisting that his daughter was alive? who was sending him letters?
-why was he out in the rain when he calls Win?
-what ends up happening to the man? and how can Win just leave him like that under the care of her father?
-at the end of it all, why didn't Win demand more? money, a home, anything, EVERYTHING! (....maybe because that wasn't he point of the story, Les!)
-candy man really going to get played like that? No back up? was he really that arrogant?
-maybe not as important but what happened to Silas after all that went down?
-other home girl (don't want to spoil here)....really gave up her inheritance just like that!? just fuck it and left? really? she gave her own up to go gobble up someone else's?
-and really? really!???? Britney 2007!? Why they gotta do my girl like that?...im not talking about Britney.
and of course, now that I'm typing this out I cant for the life of me remember the legit questions I had so....whatever, there's these for now.
OVERALL, it was a good read but I don't think I'll ever forget how anxious this book made me feel. How it made my heart hurt and how I made myself stay up to finish this read at 1 am because i did not want to wake up to continue reading this.
i also think that while the overall message about these two women sticking together no matter what is good, for me i think this was just an okay book.
too many open ended questions.
I've come to learn that ill accept anything that is told to me in a story as long as its wrapped up by the end and well, I'm not sure with this one.
honestly, my fave character of this entire story was Chaxton...the few times he came out. well, the one scene anyway.
dude was highlarious.
anyway, jump over for spoilers.
thanks for reading!
S P O I L E R S
well, the girls were waiting to leave town in two months when they graduated and Win was off to college in Chicago.
their dream was that they would move in together and Luce would no longer have to deal with her mother and brother and that Win would escape her abusive father who was the perfect man in public but a horrible man to her in private.
(Luce & Win were never going to live together in Chicago because Stormy was looking for penthouses for him to move out there with her to continue controlling her)
BUT....as Win was remembering a moment when she picked up her grandfather from the middle of the road under a thunderstorm because he called her crying, she sneaks into her fathers office to look for something (idk what) when she finds a false bottom on one of her dads desk drawers.
in there she finds an envelope addressed to her from her mother.
her mother who has been dead for years.
she takes it with her, meets Luce at their bar and they decide Vegas before Chicago to go find her mom.
W goes back home and is going to hide the letter once again but passes out.
the next morning, she thinks hes gone or something so she sneaks in to hid the letter back.
he's in the sofa in the room.
he tells her that he's just trying to help her avoid turning out like her mother.
he grabs some scissors and he so eloquently stabs one little dot into her neck and then chops off her long ass hair. he then takes her to the hair dresser because EVERYTHING is perfect in Stormy's life. although, what a dumb ass name. should've chosen Sunny or some shit. Stormy only predicts life would be troublesome...anyway....
so that's Win's last straw.
she calls up Luce and they leave then and there and they go through all this shit getting to Vegas that includes:
-drugging a dude who wants to buy 15 fucking roofies from Lucille and then leaving him drugged out in a hotel room in a casino
-to being rescued by Silas when Win almost gets herself killed.
-to conning pedophiles, drugging them and then conning them out of 4k because of Silas
-to being conned and getting their shit (car and like 4k) stolen by Silas (they do end up finding him and well, who knows what happened there after their incident)
-to almost getting killed by Lucille's brothers drug dealer (The Candy Man)
-to literally killing The Candy Man by shooting him in the head
-to conning $10,000 from Stormy as Win finally stands up to him looking like 2007 Britney Spears while she points a gun at him and tells him finally that he will leave her the fuck alone! OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!
(back story: Lucille used to save up all of her money from her job at the diner. one night her brother Marcus finds it and steals it (it was like $400 something) so to get back at him, she steals his stash of drugs and takes it with them. and the reason they know where she is at all times is because she is using his old phone and it has a tracker in it)
and so anyway, all that to find Win's mom.
this bitch is living in a mansion in Vegas married to some old as fuck motherfucker and basically tells Win that she left her old life because she was a drug addict and Stormy would beat her.
she fled, came to Vegas, married this old dude and now has a kid with him.
she asks Win if her father raised her good and happy and stupid ass Win to satisfy her lies to her and tells her yes. (this was before her mom turned out to be a bitch)
win tells her mom that she is thinking of living in Vegas and the mom automatically assumes that she meant with her and she's all no my dude. you cant live with me. i don't have space for you in my life like that.
old dude comes in and he's all who the fuck are these two and the mom right away jumps up and tells him that they are there from Habitat for Humanity to help raise money for who knows what. the dude writes them a $1,000 check and at the last minute adds an extra 0. (i need you to remember that a) i don't think the girls have cleaned up and even if they did b) home girl still has the 2007 Britney Spears look going on.
and so the mom walks them out and Luce decides hey! we don't need to start life right this moment. lets keep driving and hit the beach.
and das it.
their dream was that they would move in together and Luce would no longer have to deal with her mother and brother and that Win would escape her abusive father who was the perfect man in public but a horrible man to her in private.
(Luce & Win were never going to live together in Chicago because Stormy was looking for penthouses for him to move out there with her to continue controlling her)
BUT....as Win was remembering a moment when she picked up her grandfather from the middle of the road under a thunderstorm because he called her crying, she sneaks into her fathers office to look for something (idk what) when she finds a false bottom on one of her dads desk drawers.
in there she finds an envelope addressed to her from her mother.
her mother who has been dead for years.
she takes it with her, meets Luce at their bar and they decide Vegas before Chicago to go find her mom.
W goes back home and is going to hide the letter once again but passes out.
the next morning, she thinks hes gone or something so she sneaks in to hid the letter back.
he's in the sofa in the room.
he tells her that he's just trying to help her avoid turning out like her mother.
he grabs some scissors and he so eloquently stabs one little dot into her neck and then chops off her long ass hair. he then takes her to the hair dresser because EVERYTHING is perfect in Stormy's life. although, what a dumb ass name. should've chosen Sunny or some shit. Stormy only predicts life would be troublesome...anyway....
so that's Win's last straw.
she calls up Luce and they leave then and there and they go through all this shit getting to Vegas that includes:
-drugging a dude who wants to buy 15 fucking roofies from Lucille and then leaving him drugged out in a hotel room in a casino
-to being rescued by Silas when Win almost gets herself killed.
-to conning pedophiles, drugging them and then conning them out of 4k because of Silas
-to being conned and getting their shit (car and like 4k) stolen by Silas (they do end up finding him and well, who knows what happened there after their incident)
-to almost getting killed by Lucille's brothers drug dealer (The Candy Man)
-to literally killing The Candy Man by shooting him in the head
-to conning $10,000 from Stormy as Win finally stands up to him looking like 2007 Britney Spears while she points a gun at him and tells him finally that he will leave her the fuck alone! OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!
(back story: Lucille used to save up all of her money from her job at the diner. one night her brother Marcus finds it and steals it (it was like $400 something) so to get back at him, she steals his stash of drugs and takes it with them. and the reason they know where she is at all times is because she is using his old phone and it has a tracker in it)
and so anyway, all that to find Win's mom.
this bitch is living in a mansion in Vegas married to some old as fuck motherfucker and basically tells Win that she left her old life because she was a drug addict and Stormy would beat her.
she fled, came to Vegas, married this old dude and now has a kid with him.
she asks Win if her father raised her good and happy and stupid ass Win to satisfy her lies to her and tells her yes. (this was before her mom turned out to be a bitch)
win tells her mom that she is thinking of living in Vegas and the mom automatically assumes that she meant with her and she's all no my dude. you cant live with me. i don't have space for you in my life like that.
old dude comes in and he's all who the fuck are these two and the mom right away jumps up and tells him that they are there from Habitat for Humanity to help raise money for who knows what. the dude writes them a $1,000 check and at the last minute adds an extra 0. (i need you to remember that a) i don't think the girls have cleaned up and even if they did b) home girl still has the 2007 Britney Spears look going on.
and so the mom walks them out and Luce decides hey! we don't need to start life right this moment. lets keep driving and hit the beach.
and das it.
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