published: 2011
pages: 387
ISBN: 978-0-385-53463-5
read: 2/11-26/2017
rating: 1) i didn't like it 2) it was okay 3) i liked it 
          4) really liked it 5) it was amazing 6) I LOVED IT
(sorry! i know, my "rating system" keeps changing but gah!)

SYNOPSIS
The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. Within the black-and-white striped canvas tents is an utterly unique experience full of breathtaking amazements. It is called Le Cirque des Rêves, and it is only open at night. 

But behind the scenes, a fierce competition is underway: a duel between two young magicians, Celia and Marco, who have been trained since childhood expressly for this purpose by their mercurial instructors. Unbeknownst to them both, this is a game in which only one can be left standing. Despite the high stakes, Celia and Marco soon tumble headfirst into love, setting off a domino effect of dangerous consequences, and leaving the lives of everyone, from the performers to the patrons, hanging in the balance.



MY THOUGHTS
there's something about this book that strikes me as ridiculously beautiful; this is the first time i feel this way towards a book, i think. 
and yet somehow, even though it made me feel that, it wasn't enough to bring me back to it as constantly as other books have done before. 
i don't know. it's a weird one. 
i think it's the pace in which it's written that made me hesitate to pick it up continuously. 
there are several characters involved in this story and i think the meeting of new people every now and again is what kind of put me off. 
(but they're all essential to the story so....)

i didn't devote the proper attention to this book as i should have and since I'd put it off for days at a time, when i would come back I'd be a bit confused on certain characters and what it was they were doing or what their part was in the plot (bad. i know) 

i finally sat my ass down and made myself read this book and I'm definitely glad that i finished it. 
it was not a bad book at all. i really liked it. i just think it was the pacing. 
I'm thinking that I'll eventually come back to it later on in life and read it again properly. 

i think certain people might have expected more of a "battle" book because of the description BUT let me tell you and save you the time; it's not. 

let me explain it a little bit more. since it's up on the synopsis, i won't be spoiling much.
it's a battle between Celia and Marco and the Circus is their "battle ground" except its not a physical battle its more of a who can create what and build from that within the circus battle. 
of course they end up falling in love but because of that, everything, everyone within the circus and the circus itself is in danger of failing...or dying....or ending...not sure what the proper term there would be.
and that's gist of it....how can they be together without hurting everything and everyone involved.

the chapters all have their titles (for the most part very indicative of whats about to take place) AND the time (month and year) that said chapter takes place in. i read the titles but tended to skip over the dates so as the book went back and forth i was like wtf is going on! but that was all my fault. Erin did a good job of explaining a reaction as well as the action later on. 
overall, i liked the book. once it started making sense to me i liked it even more. 
i liked all of the characters with the exception of Kiko. I'm not sure what the verdict is on her yet. but i gotta say my favorite was Widget. i just loved him!

if you're okay with slow paced books, i definitely recommend but if you're not, I'd say just read the spoilers. ill try to get into them as much as possible. 

but let me leave you with some of my 
FAVORITE QUOTES

"...but a child should not have their choices dictated for them." 
- Bailey's Grama. pg 87

"secrets have power, and that power diminishes when they are shared...." 
-Widget pg 173
(this is an entire paragraph which i absolutely loved) 

"the past is easier. it's already there." 
- Widget pg 199

" i have never lied. i do not share what i am not at liberty to say. i gave my word and I intend to keep it but i have never lied to you." 
- Mr. Burris pg 253

"love is fickle and fleeting, it is rarely a solid foundation for decisions to be made upon, in any game." 
-Tsukiko (Kiko) pg 306

"if she were gone, i would be nothing. you should think better of yourself than to settle for that." 
- Marco pg 335

" i still want you to be happy." 
-Isobel pg 336
(in between a paragraph that i loved completely) 


spoilers below!

thanks for reading!
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published: 2000
pages: 130
isbn: 0-7868-6658-6
read: 2/8-9/2017
rating: 1) didn't like it 2) it was okay 3) liked it 4) really liked it 5) it was amazing!
(going by the goodreads rating system)


SYNOPSIS
Lonely, depressed, Vermont transplant Mirabelle Buttersfield, who sells expensive evening gloves nobody ever buys at Neiman Marcus in Beverly Hills and spends her evenings watching television with her two cats. She attempts to forge a relationship with middle-aged, womanizing, Seattle millionaire Ray Porter while being pursued by socially inept and unambitious slacker Jeremy.

MY THOUGHTS

oh, what you find on randoms walks in the library. 

uhm, overall this wasn't a bad book. 

i think honestly that your feelings towards this book depend on your mentality in regards to the subject which can be either 1) starting a "relationship" with an older/younger person or 2) a} the inability to tell someone what you want (or don't) from them when it comes to a relationship and b} the inability to actually listen to what someone is telling you cause you only hear whatcha' want. 

...or at least that's what I got from it. 

Ray wants Mirabelle as just a hook up buddy cause basically mid-life crisis and tells her that that is all he wants but she chooses to hear "I'm fresh from a divorce so I need time but I know that I will end up loving (and maybe marrying) you." 

i really didn't feel anything reading this book. like i wasn't excited to finish it and it didn't really evoke any emotion in me. but at the end of the book, i can see what he was trying to say. 
and i love that as serious as it was for Ray and Mirabelle, he threw in Lisa. 
that lady was crazy in the best way possible. here these 2 are having a life serious situation and this chick is talking about being the best hoodie ever! (not slut shamming at all!) 

ray was trying so hard to find someone to end up with even though he didn't realize he was and Mirabelle could have been that person but in the process of finding THE ONE (without knowing), he's ignoring the one person that could give him all that. (boy, do we all know that feeling.) 
and then the whole Jeremy dilemma...his ending in the book is, i guess you can say, fulfilling but he didn't stand out to me really til the end. i feel like he existed for the sole purpose of the ending (and that suuuper funny bit with Lisa). 

overall, i liked the story i just find it weird that it left me with no attachment or feeling of it.
it was okay.
i am however excited to catch the movie. it doesn't look like she plays the depressing bits on there and i love that Steve Martin plays Ray...i also love the dude who plays Jimmy, Jason Schwartzman. 

as always, fave quotes/parts of the book (and spoilers after the jump.) 

She knows she needs new friends but introductions are hard to come by when your natural state is shyness. 
(pg 4) 



"Just remember, darling, it is pain that changes our lives." 
some lady on the phone pg 53




thanks for reading!
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published: 2016
pages: 278
isbn: 9780399563850
read: 2/2-4/2017
rating: 1) didn't care for it 2) liked it 3) LOVED IT  

When Ben, a suburban family man, takes a business trip to rural Pennsylvania, he decides to spend the afternoon before his dinner meeting on a short hike. Once he sets out into the woods behind his hotel, he quickly comes to realize that the path he has chosen cannot be given up easily. With no choice but to move forward, Ben finds himself falling deeper and deeper into a world of man-eating giants, bizarre demons, and colossal insects.

On a quest of epic, life-or-death proportions, Ben finds help comes in some of the most unexpected forms, including a profane crustacean and a variety of magical objects, tools, and potions. Desperate to return to his family, Ben is determined to track down the “Producer,” the creator of the world in which he is being held hostage and the only one who can free him from the path.


MY THOUGHTS
GUYS! I know the year juuuust started but I LOVED this book. I think this might be my favorite of the year....

I found this book through the ig account, bookpairings.
I followed her because she loves to pair what she reads with a drink and well, I love to read and my bf loves to drink so i was like "hey! perfect!"

the cover alone is THEE only reason I picked this book and luckily my library had it.
its not a scary read but because I'm a huge chicken shit I was kind of hesitant to start based on what the book is about...but guuuys! i love this book.
I just finished it and I'm having a serious book hangover.
I have it on my amazon cart and I'm thisclose to buying it.

I loved everything about this book.
it starts right away which is something I'm not used to really.
most stories take time to build but from the get go, the story with the path starts so you get right to the point.

I love this book because of Ben, he gets into some shit and instead of being a typical macho man he breaks down when shit hits the fan. when he's broken and feels like he can't go no more, his family is what keeps him going.

he went through so much shit but every time he felt like he should give up, he kept pushing and everything that he needed was there for him as he needed it.
so even though he was trapped he was always safe as long as he stayed on the path.


I LOVED Crab and Fermona. heck, i even loved Cisco.

I loved that Crab was there to help him when he needed it. I was sad when they had to split buuut i was honestly shocked when I found out the truth behind Crab.

I loved Fermona because she was this lovable giant who, even though she was kind of "evil", she was still good for her word. I don't want to spoil to much of her part in the book so I'll just say that for the most part, she was the best. probably my fave.

and Cisco, he was a trip. i don't want to give this away either so ill just say he arrived at the right time and was exactly what Ben needed and i know its just a book, but i hope wherever he is, he made it alright.

and Ben's wife....I skipped to the end so I knew right away how it ends but I wasn't expecting that little twist. and I kind of loved it also.
...one day, heck even a couple of hours can seem like soooo many years.

I read a couple of reviews on goodreads about this book and people weren't crazy because this is honestly a wtf book but it was, in my opinion, a good read.
its unlike anything i have read. maybe in a while....maybe in forever,
and if you decide to pick it up, have an open mind about it.

I will definitely be re-reading this book.

ill leave you with some of my fave parts of the book and like before I'll do spoilers afterwards....

"my friend, just because God loves you does not mean that He can save you from suffering."
-Cisco pg 202

"you don't have to say anything. it's love. love doesn't require an explanation."
-Cisco pg 232

"there's no honor in surviving. its what you're supposed to fucking do. half of the people who survive stuff don't even know why or how they did it. I know I don't. 'honor' is some bullshit word men made up to jerk themselves off. you can get away with anything if you just say you did it with honor."
-Ben pg 232

"there comes a point in life when you've seen so much that hardly anything surprises you or bothers you and that's a shitty moment. wisdom is so terribly overrated."
-Ben pg 249


as you can tell (but in case you cant), this book has a lot of cussing. i mean not a lot, there could be more words in there but they're definitely sprinkled in there so, ya know. if that's not your cup of tea then you've been warned.


thanks for reading!


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published: 2014
pages: 260
isbn:978-0-399-56435-2
read: 1/29-31/2017
rating: 1) i didnt care for it 2) i liked it 3) i hated it. 


Teo Avelar is a loner. He lives with his paraplegic mother and her dog in Rio de Janeiro, he doesn't have many friends, and the only time he feels honest human emotion is in the presence of his medical school cadaver—that is, until he meets Clarice. She's almost his exact opposite: exotic, spontaneous, unafraid to speak her mind. An aspiring screenwriter, she's working on a screenplay called Perfect Days about three friends who go on a road trip across Brazil in search of romance. Teo is obsessed. He begins to stalk her, first following her to her university, then to her home, and when she ultimately rejects him, he kidnaps her and they embark upon their very own twisted odyssey across Brazil, tracing the same route outlined in her screenplay. Through it all, Teo is certain that time is all he needs to prove to Clarice that they are made for each other, that time is all he needs to make her fall in love with him. But as the journey progresses, he digs himself deeper and deeper into a pit that he can't get out of, stopping at nothing to ensure that no one gets in the way of their life together. 


MY THOUGHTS
to be fair, that rating is KIND of off and now i see why people have like 1-5 or even 1-10. 
i didn't not care for the book. 
i just didn't fucken like it. 
I HATED IT!!!!

now, with that being said, it wasn't a badly written book. i can see why people would like it. it's a good book it just wasn't my taste. 
if i could eternal sunshine of the spotless mind this book, i would. 
but again, this is my thought; it wasn't a bad book. i just didn't care for it. 

Teo is the very main reason why at this day and age I'd rather die alone than ever meet a person over a dating app or just at all. 
I'm a huge chicken because we live in a world were everything is fucked up (yes, there is a lot of good out there) I'm just naturally a worrier. 

I used to think i was a Clarice. i used to give my phone number out to anyone. i didn't care. I'd talk to anyone and everyone. i didn't care. 

but all she did was go up to Teo and SPOILER kiss him SPOILER OVER and that's all it took for him to become this freaking psycho. 

i think i hated this book because of all the suspense. because i know that this could possibly happen in real life. at least with Dean Koontz books i know there's not a chance of that ever happening. 
i think i hated this book because of the person Teo was but also the person he eventually became. 
because you already knew he was fucked up in the head. 
i think i hated this book because Clarice never had a chance. she was always screwed. 
i think i hated this book because Teo should have gotten caught a long time ago. 
because he fucken killed his dog!!!! 
because hew as a psychopath and just UGH!!!!

i wish i would have never read this book.
i just cant believe it all! 
i was so angry reading this book. and i couldn't put it down because i was waiting for him to get caught but nothing! 
N O T H I N G ! ! ! ! !

oh! and if you do what i did and jump to the last page and read and then you're like WTF!? how!? 
don't worry, you still didn't spoil much. cause plot twist!

gah. 

I'm doing it backwards this time...spoilers are after the jump. 


thanks for reading!
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